Ever been handed “one more thing” and wondered whether pushing back would help you or haunt you? We dig into the real art of saying no at work—how to protect your bandwidth without damaging trust, and how to turn tense requests into clear decisions that move the right work forward. Along the way, we share the exact phrases that keep conversations calm, the questions that reveal hidden context, and the negotiation steps that map tradeoffs without sounding defensive.

We start by separating core responsibilities from additive requests and unpack why that distinction changes your next move. If the work is core, we talk about ownership and execution; if it’s additive, we show you how to probe for intent—stretch assignment, urgent fire drill, or visibility play—so you can assess risk and reward. Then we dive into tone and power dynamics: with a boss, ask permission before offering alternatives; with peers, redirect or delay while still being helpful; with direct reports, be clear and candid so they can succeed. You’ll hear simple scripts like “Help me understand why this, why now, and why us,” “Where does this fit among A, B, and C?,” and “If we prioritize this, X slips two weeks—acceptable?”

Expect practical tools you can use today: a fast mental checklist for on‑the‑spot decisions, ways to avoid over‑questioning that sounds like stonewalling, and a framework to document impacts so leaders can make informed calls. We also cover when a firm refusal is non‑negotiable—anything illegal, unethical, or harmful—and how to do that with professionalism. By the end, you’ll be able to choose among no, not yet, yes if, and yes—and know why each choice fits the moment.

Are we becoming workplace jerks in our quest for self-care? This provocative question frames our candid conversation about a troubling trend in modern self-help literature.

When bestsellers like "The Courage to Be Disliked" and "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" encourage readers to prioritize themselves, set rigid boundaries, and worry less about others' opinions, something valuable yet dangerous emerges. We unpack Emma Goldberg's thoughtful New York Times piece questioning whether these well-intentioned guides are fostering workplace selfishness.

The balance is delicate. There's tremendous value in speaking your truth and refusing to be a "Get-Along Gary" who sacrifices authenticity for harmony. Your perspective matters - both for your wellbeing and your organization's success. Yet there's a profound difference between healthy boundary-setting and dismissive self-centeredness that can destroy workplace relationships.

Perhaps most importantly, we explore the myth of solo success. Every one of us eventually needs support - whether during personal challenges or professional hurdles. If you've consistently prioritized only yourself, who will be there when you need help? As Tammy wisely observes, "None of us succeed on our own. We succeed because we're in a tribe."

Ready to navigate this complex terrain? Join us for an honest exploration of how to honor your needs without becoming the office jerk. Subscribe now and share your thoughts on finding that sweet spot between self-advocacy and genuine collaboration!

Have you ever wondered if you can truly be your authentic self at work? That question lies at the heart of our conversation, sparked by a hilarious meme: "I accidentally used my real personality at work today. I'll just take myself to HR."

We dive deep into the tension between authenticity and professionalism, exploring whether self-management means betraying who you are or simply choosing which aspects of yourself to emphasize in different contexts. The truth is, everyone has amazing qualities and challenging ones - the key is learning when to bring each forward.

Self-management isn't about changing your core values or beliefs. It's about recognizing that we all have moments when we want to react impulsively, but choosing responses that align with our long-term goals instead. As we share through personal stories (including a memorable shoe-in-the-ceiling incident and a table-slamming confrontation), those reactive moments can have significant professional consequences.

Leaders face a particular challenge since their emotions ripple throughout the organization. When a leader panics, everyone panics. This doesn't mean suppressing your true self, but rather developing awareness about how your natural tendencies affect others. The higher you rise professionally, the more critical this skill becomes.

Whether you're struggling with a reactive team member or examining your own workplace behavior, this episode offers valuable insights into balancing authenticity with effectiveness. Listen now to discover how you can be your real self at work while still creating the positive impact and relationships you desire.