Episode 80: The Second Year of Grief | Why Grief Changes But Doesn't Follow a Timeline

The first year of grief is filled with firsts. The first birthday, the first Christmas, the first family gathering without someone you love.

But what happens when the second year arrives?

In Episode 80 of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove discusses the often-overlooked experience of the second year of grief, sharing his personal journey following the loss of his daughter, Mia.

The second year can feel different. You've experienced many of the first milestones, but now you face the seconds. For parents who have lost a child, those milestones can bring new questions about who their child might have become and all the experiences they never had the opportunity to share.

Grant also discusses how his understanding of grief changed during the second year, including learning to detach from guilt, experiencing more good days than bad, and recognising that difficult moments don't necessarily mean you've gone backwards.

Together, we look at:

• Why the second year of grief can feel different from the first.

• The emotional challenges of experiencing milestones for a second time.

• How guilt can keep us focused on the circumstances surrounding a death.

• Why support from family and friends may become less frequent over time.

• How grief can appear unexpectedly, even during an otherwise good day.

• Navigating grief within relationships when partners experience difficult moments at different times.

• Why having more good days doesn't mean you love or miss someone any less.

• When professional grief support might be helpful.

• Learning to work through the waves of grief without putting pressure on yourself.

  
  

THERE IS NO TIMELINE FOR GRIEF

One of the most important messages in this episode is that you don't have to meet expectations or recovery goals during your second year.

You might feel ready to reconnect with life, pursue happiness or establish new routines. You might not. There is no pressure to get there by a particular date.

Your grief is yours. Be present with your feelings and allow yourself to work out what the next step looks like for you.

As Grant shares:

"You can't control when the waves arrive, but you can work through them. Each wave you work through equips you to face the next one. Take one moment at a time."

Whether you're entering your second year of grief, already navigating it, or supporting someone who is, this episode is a reminder that difficult moments don't mean you've failed.

You don't have to forget someone to continue living, and you don't have to stop missing them to find happiness again.

You don't have to walk this journey alone.

CONNECT WITH THE GRIEF GUARDIAN

🌐 Website: https://thegriefguardian.com

☕ Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

🎙️ Listen and subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube.

If this episode helps you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear this message.

ABOUT THE GRIEF GUARDIAN

The Grief Guardian, hosted by Grant Cosgrove, provides support, education and understanding for people navigating life after losing someone they love.

Created in memory of Grant's daughter, Mia, the podcast aims to help people understand grief, find ways to live alongside it, and realise they don't have to face it alone.

Mia, this work is in memory of you. Every episode is a tribute to the love you brought into our lives.

#TheGriefGuardian #SecondYearOfGrief #GriefJourney #GriefSupport #ChildLoss #BereavedParents #LivingWithGrief #GriefHealing #LosingAChild #GriefPodcast

Episode 79: The Grief of Becoming a Father and Losing Your Child | The Grief Guardian Podcast

What does it mean to become a father and lose your child before you ever get the chance to raise them?

When a baby dies during pregnancy, is stillborn, or passes away shortly after birth, fathers experience a grief that can sometimes go unseen. Alongside losing their child, they may also grieve the future they imagined, the milestones they will never witness, and the experiences they had dreamed of sharing.

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove shares his personal experience of losing his daughter, Mia, and the challenges of navigating fatherhood after loss.

Grant discusses the hopes and dreams he had for Mia, the emotional impact of losing the future they were supposed to share, and the difficult 22 days when Mia's mum, Saroeun, remained in hospital fighting for her life.

He also talks about finding moments to grieve during the drives home from the hospital, the importance of recognising fathers as grieving parents in their own right, and why losing a child doesn't take away your identity as their father.

This episode explores:

• The grief of losing an imagined future: Mourning the birthdays, milestones, adventures and everyday experiences that will never happen.

• The invisible grief of fathers: Why fathers can sometimes put their own emotions aside while supporting their partners.

• Being a father without getting to raise your child: Understanding that fatherhood isn't measured by the number of physical memories you have.

• Living with the moments you missed: Finding ways to acknowledge and imagine the experiences you never got to share.

• The impact on identity and relationships: Understanding how losing a child can change the way you see yourself, love and family.

• Finding ways to honour your child: Creating meaningful ways to maintain your connection without feeling pressured to turn grief into something productive.

• Taking life one moment at a time: Allowing yourself to heal without deadlines, expectations or pressure to know what comes next.

Grant also shares how losing Mia became the reason behind The Grief Guardian, a project created in her memory and dedicated to helping grieving families.

A message for fathers who have lost their babies:

You became a father when your child came into existence. Not being able to hold them, raise them or watch them grow doesn't take away from that. Your child mattered. Your relationship mattered. And your love still matters.

You don't need to work out how to live the rest of your life today. Just focus on getting through the moment you're facing right now.

You are their dad. You always will be.

CONNECT WITH THE GRIEF GUARDIAN

🌐 Website: https://thegriefguardian.com

☕ Support The Grief Guardian: https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

Subscribe to The Grief Guardian Podcast for more conversations about grief, loss, healing and finding ways to live with the love that remains.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider sharing it with another grieving father who might need to hear this message.

SEARCH TOPICS

Grief of losing a child, fathers grieving child loss, bereaved fathers, stillbirth grief, pregnancy loss, infant loss, losing a baby, grief after stillbirth, becoming a father after loss, grieving dads, fatherhood after child loss, losing a newborn, The Grief Guardian, grief support for fathers.

EP78: When Someone Else's Happiness Hurts | The Grief Guardian Podcast

Have you ever looked at someone else's happiness and felt sadness, anger, or a deep sense of missing something you can never have?

Perhaps it's seeing a father hug his daughter, watching children celebrate Christmas, seeing a pregnancy announcement, or scrolling through photos of another family's happy moments.

When you're grieving, these ordinary moments can bring up emotions you might find difficult to understand. You can genuinely be happy for someone else while feeling heartbroken about what you've lost.

In Episode 78 of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove explores the difficult experience of watching others enjoy the moments you wish you could have shared with someone you love.

Drawing on his own experience of losing his daughter, Mia, Grant shares how seeing other families experience happiness brought up feelings of helplessness and sadness, particularly in the early days of grief. He also reflects on how those feelings have changed over time, moving from raw pain towards a quieter sense of missing what could have been.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why other people's happiness can trigger grief.

• The anger, sadness and helplessness that can arise after losing someone you love.

• Why these feelings don't make you a bad person.

• How you can be happy for someone else while still grieving your own loss.

• How our relationship with grief and its reminders can change over time.

• Finding a connection to love when you're reminded of what you've lost.

• Learning to carry your love forward, even when the person you love is no longer physically here.

If you're experiencing these feelings, please know that you aren't alone. You don't need to feel guilty for your reactions or force yourself to be okay. Give yourself permission to feel what comes up, and allow yourself time to find your own way through grief.

For me, one of the biggest lessons has been understanding that even though Mia isn't physically here, the love I have for her is still here.

Sometimes what hurts isn't the happiness you're seeing. It's the love you're reminded you still carry.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider liking, sharing and subscribing to The Grief Guardian Podcast. Your support helps these conversations reach others who may need to hear them.

❤️ The Grief Guardian
Guiding you through the hardest journey: life after losing a loved one. Empowering resilience, healing and hope, one step at a time.

🌐 Website: https://thegriefguardian.com
☕ Support The Grief Guardian: https://buymeacoffee.com/thegriefguardian

#TheGriefGuardian #Grief #ChildLoss #GriefJourney #Bereavement #LosingAChild #GriefSupport