TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode, we talk about sex addiction, sexual trauma, sexual predation and abuse. Listen with care if you are particularly sensitive about these topic areas.

As the conversation continues, Tami talks about:

• Her recovery from the trauma of finding out about her husband's sex addiction began by connecting her own shame around her marriage to her own father's history of boundary violations, including molestation.
• A "cocktail of therapy" (Gestalt, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing) helped Tami to process this trauma, including a somatic exercise to "give back" the inherited shame.
• Tami found real recovery for herself in the S-Anon 12-step program, which provided a safe, structured community where she could process her feelings of betrayal with others who knew exactly what she was going through.
• Tami Z. now helps others process "disenfranchised loss"—losses not socially recognized (e.g., relationship betrayal, family estrangement)—as a certified grief educator.

Discovery of 12-Step Recovery:

• A therapist suggested S-Anon (a 12 Step recovery group for people whose friends/loved ones are sex addiction), during couples therapy, when Tami's husband's recovery was faltering. (12 Step Addiction Support for Families, Friends & Spouses of Sex Addicts)
• S-Anon as a Fit: Her first S-Anon meeting felt like "coming home."
• Rationale: The meeting focused on recovery, not just complaints, and had healthy boundaries.

Therapeutic Modalities/Books for Trauma that Tami Z. tried and liked:

• Gestalt Therapy: A somatic exercise to "give back" inherited shame.
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) - trauma therapy
• Sensory Motor Therapy: Developed by Pat Ogden. (Pat Ogden’s Sensorimotor Psychotherapy for Complex Trauma)
• Somatic Experiencing (SE): Developed by Peter Levine (author, Waking the Tiger).
• Hypnotherapy
• David Kessler's Grief Educator Program (grief.com).
• Drop the Rock, by Bill P. and Todd W.

**Tami Z. is a certified grief educator who works with other people as they heal from betrayal trauma and other such wounds. If you're interested in finding out more about what she does, check out her website at: https://share.google/JYp3X4qUlRwkROXN5

If you have a topic you'd like to hear about or know of someone who would be interested in being interviewed, please email the podcast at: saymoreaboutthatpodcast@gmail.com

TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode, we talk about sex addiction, sexual trauma, sexual predation and abuse. Listen with care if you are particularly sensitive about these topic areas.

Tami Z. shares about her journey with finding out her husband was a sex addict, and how her recovery journey led her to find out that her childhood experiences created a perfect storm to set her up to attract such a partner. She talks honestly about her grief and deep wounds from her husband's betrayal, and how twenty years later, and a lot of work, they are still together and in a wonderful chapter of connection and creation in their marriage.

• A Core Insight from the Episode: Recovery is a "grieving process that frees a lost soul" (ACA literature). This involves radical honesty about what was lacking in childhood, which creates space for self-compassion and healing.
• Key Discovery: Tami's recovery in S-Anon (the 12 step program for people whose friend/family member is a sex addict) revealed she had made her husband her "higher power," a pattern of seeking spiritual fulfillment from a person. This "God hunger" perpetuated a fantasy that masked the relationship's true intimacy issues.

T-Shirt Idea: "I am burdened by my bag of rocks."

**Tami Z. is a certified grief educator who works with other people as they heal from betrayal trauma and other such wounds. If you're interested in finding out more about what she does, check out her website at: https://share.google/JYp3X4qUlRwkROXN5

If you have a topic you'd like to hear about or know of someone who would be interested in being interviewed, please email the podcast at: saymoreaboutthatpodcast@gmail.com

Hi Everyone. It's Amy. Welcome to my podcast. This episode is a short explanation of what I'm trying to do here. The elevator pitch is it's 12 Step meets StoryCorps meets your living room: I'm a trained journalist and I interview people about a challenging time in their life - past or present - and how they got through it. The interviews are audio only, anonymous, and there are no comments allowed on the website to protect the vulnerability of the person sharing. These are real stories that are meant to give people inspiration and hope around the challenges in their own lives. If you're stuck and don't know what to do, come to this podcast and find out how you can take a first step.

If you have a topic you'd like to hear about or know of someone who would be interested in being interviewed, please email the podcast at: saymoreaboutthatpodcast@gmail.com