TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode, we talk about sex addiction, sexual trauma, sexual predation and abuse. Listen with care if you are particularly sensitive about these topic areas.

As the conversation continues, Tami talks about:

• Her recovery from the trauma of finding out about her husband's sex addiction began by connecting her own shame around her marriage to her own father's history of boundary violations, including molestation.
• A "cocktail of therapy" (Gestalt, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing) helped Tami to process this trauma, including a somatic exercise to "give back" the inherited shame.
• Tami found real recovery for herself in the S-Anon 12-step program, which provided a safe, structured community where she could process her feelings of betrayal with others who knew exactly what she was going through.
• Tami Z. now helps others process "disenfranchised loss"—losses not socially recognized (e.g., relationship betrayal, family estrangement)—as a certified grief educator.

Discovery of 12-Step Recovery:

• A therapist suggested S-Anon (a 12 Step recovery group for people whose friends/loved ones are sex addiction), during couples therapy, when Tami's husband's recovery was faltering. (12 Step Addiction Support for Families, Friends & Spouses of Sex Addicts)
• S-Anon as a Fit: Her first S-Anon meeting felt like "coming home."
• Rationale: The meeting focused on recovery, not just complaints, and had healthy boundaries.

Therapeutic Modalities/Books for Trauma that Tami Z. tried and liked:

• Gestalt Therapy: A somatic exercise to "give back" inherited shame.
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) - trauma therapy
• Sensory Motor Therapy: Developed by Pat Ogden. (Pat Ogden’s Sensorimotor Psychotherapy for Complex Trauma)
• Somatic Experiencing (SE): Developed by Peter Levine (author, Waking the Tiger).
• Hypnotherapy
• David Kessler's Grief Educator Program (grief.com).
• Drop the Rock, by Bill P. and Todd W.

**Tami Z. is a certified grief educator who works with other people as they heal from betrayal trauma and other such wounds. If you're interested in finding out more about what she does, check out her website at: https://share.google/JYp3X4qUlRwkROXN5

If you have a topic you'd like to hear about or know of someone who would be interested in being interviewed, please email the podcast at: saymoreaboutthatpodcast@gmail.com