🎧 Listen to this episode if…

- You've done the maths on lawyer fees and your stomach dropped

- You want to do more of your divorce yourself but don't want to get it wrong

- You've got a small property pool and full-time lawyers don't add up

- You have a Legal Aid lawyer and want to help your case move faster

- You and your ex are "amicable" and thinking of skipping the paperwork

⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances.

🛟 This episode touches on family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.

Lawyers charge around $500-$1000 an hour Mum and I talk about which hours you actually need to pay for and which you can do yourself.

00:00 – DIY Divorce: Which Lawyer Hours Can You Do Yourself?

03:00 – Why People DIY Their Divorce: The Real Cost of Lawyers

05:00 – Legal Aid Lawyers and Becoming Your Own Project Manager

07:00 – The Family Court Was Built for DIY (Safari Suits Included)

10:00 – Controlling the Pace: Deadlines, Cost Orders and Associates

14:00 – DIY Divorce With Coercive Control: What's Safe to Do

16:00 – Property Settlement Step 1: Your Asset and Debt List

17:00 – Disclosure Explained (and the Five Shopping Bags)

20:00 – Contributions, Future Needs and Your Percentage

22:00 – Negotiating Your Settlement: The Grocery Basket Analogy

24:00 – Consent Orders: Making Your Agreement Enforceable

25:00 – Why You Must Formalise It (Plus Stamp Duty Relief)

27:00 – Parenting Arrangements: From Early Days to a Plan

29:00 – Parenting Plan vs Consent Orders: Why Write It Down

31:00 – What You Can DIY: Divorce Application, Disclosure, Valuations

33:00 – Mediation Without a Lawyer: Save Your Money for Court

35:00 – Three Lawyers at Mediation, None at the Appeal

36:00 – Filing Your Own Consent Orders on the Court Portal

37:00 – The Two Lawyer Checkpoints You Shouldn't Skip

38:00 – "My Case Isn't Normal": Businesses, New Partners, Big Contributions

39:00 – What You Can't DIY: Binding Financial Agreements and Trials

43:00 – DIY vs Winging It: Kitchen-Table Agreements and Disclosure

45:00 – Get Organised: Email Folders and Disclosure Systems

48:00 – Vague Parenting Plans and How to Make Them Specific

50:00 – Advantages and Disadvantages of a DIY Divorce

55:00 – Can You File Your Own Divorce and Consent Orders?

🎧 Episodes Mentioned

Worried About Your Divorce Lawyer? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/worried-about-your-divorce-lawyer-delays-bills-and/id1503451022?i=1000792296761

Do I Really Need a Lawyer? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/do-i-really-need-a-lawyer-for-my-divorce-or-defacto/id1503451022?i=1000769729536

Disclosure: The What, Why, When & How – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/disclosure-the-what-why-when-how-of-disclosure/id1503451022?i=1000608265425

Percentages in Property Settlements Explained – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519

Big or Small Property Pool? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/big-or-small-property-pool-how-size-changes-your-divorce/id1503451022?i=1000777815540

4 Ways to Agree (Ep 333) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/4-ways-to-agree-in-divorce-or-de-facto-separation/id1503451022?i=1000783951018

🔗 Links & Resources

DIY Divorce Blueprint + Family Court Companion Course waitlist – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

Section 90 Family Law Act (stamp duty) – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s90.html

1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat"🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

- You've just found out your ex was cheating – and your lawyer doesn't seem to care

- You're wondering if the affair changes your property settlement

- You're combing through disclosure for gifts, hotels and a money trail

- You're scared of being painted as the "jealous ex" in family court

- Your ex's new partner is suddenly part of your kids' lives

⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances.

🛟 This episode discusses emotional abuse, gaslighting and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.

Mum and I unpack the question "my ex cheated – does it actually matter?" We cover wastage of joint money, proving the money trail in disclosure, negotiating while you're hurt (without swinging from give-up to revenge), the traps around kids and the new partner, and why your reaction – not their cheating – is what the court ends up watching. Plus the cases Gollings & Scott and Tajani & Tajani

⏱️ Episode Timeline

00:00 – My Ex Cheated: Does It Actually Matter in Divorce?

01:00 – From Private Investigators to No-Fault Divorce in Australia

04:00 – The Emotional Hit: Gaslighting, Paranoia and Flashbacks

06:00 – Two Separate Recoveries: Healing vs the Legal Process

08:00 – What the Court Cares About: Joint Money Spent on an Affair

10:00 – STIs and When Cheating Crosses Into Abusive Behaviour

12:00 – Before, During, After: When Affair Spending Counts

13:00 – The Judge's Range: How Conduct Can Lift Your Percentage

14:00 – Proving It: Gifts, Hotels and the Money Trail in Disclosure

17:00 – The Hat Trick: Separating Heartbreak From Strategy

18:00 – Negotiating While Hurt: The Two Traps

19:00 – The Pendulum Effect: Give Up, Fair or Everything

21:00 – Guilty Exes and Generous Offers: Grab Them or Not?

23:00 – Negotiating to Punish and the "Jealous Ex" Label

26:00 – The Five Stages of Grief After Betrayal

28:00 – Adjustment Disorder and Family Reports

30:00 – Co-Parenting With the Affair Partner

31:00 – New Partners in Parenting: Subpoenas and Safety Checks

33:00 – How Soon Is Too Soon to Introduce a New Partner?

38:00 – Don't Interrogate the Kids: The Car Ride Strategy

44:00 – Rapid Fire: Affairs Before, During and Under One Roof

45:00 – Onerous Contributions, De Facto Overlaps and Tajani & Tajani

48:00 – Two Property Settlements, Filing First and the Family Home

51:00 – Does a New Partner's Income Affect Your Settlement?

53:00 – The Biggest Takeaway: Adjustments, Not Revenge

🎧 Episodes Mentioned

Are We De Facto? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/are-we-de-facto-what-it-could-mean-for-property/id1503451022?i=1000743246854

Property or Parenting First? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/property-or-parenting-first-does-the-order-actually/id1503451022?i=1000782876028

Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-vs-a-bad-relationship-how-to-tell/id1503451022?i=1000774925805

Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660

🔗 Links & Resources

Family Law Act 1975 – Section 79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html

📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000

🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat"

🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

If this episode helped you understand what cheating does and doesn't change in your divorce, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

- You dread every text from your ex and screenshot messages "just in case"

- Your co-parent avoids, delays or denies every conversation that matters

- You can't get a straight yes or no

- You carry the mental load of every reminder, newsletter and schedule

- You've been told to "document everything" and want it done automatically

⚠️ General information only not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances.

🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.

unpack the co-parenting app that courts here actually trust.

⏱️ Episode Timeline

00:00 – Dreading Texts From Your Ex? Why You Need This Episode

01:00 – Meet Erin Green From OurFamilyWizard Australia

02:00 – Why Avoidant Co-Parents Stop Communicating

05:00 – The Amicable Trap: Becoming the Communication Manager

07:00 – What Is OurFamilyWizard? The Co-Parenting App Explained

08:00 – Uneditable, Encrypted Records vs Deleted Text Messages

10:00 – Calls Feature: Transcripts and Documented Call Activity

11:00 – Family Violence Orders: Calling Without Sharing Your Number

12:00 – The Shared Calendar and Change Requests Without Drama

15:00 – Expense Tracking: Invoices, Receipts and Proof for Court

17:00 – The Info Bank: Schools, Medications and Clothing Sizes

18:00 – Who Uses OurFamilyWizard (And When Courts Order It)

20:00 – Putting the App in Your Consent Orders

21:00 – Timestamped Messages: No Deleting, No Rewriting History

22:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Laura & Lyn

23:00 – Court-Admissible PDFs and Professional Access

25:00 – The AI Writing Assistant That Flags Escalating Language

27:00 – Message Search + Safety for Survivors of Abuse

29:00 – Word Salad, Yes-or-No Requests and Coercive Control

31:00 – Check-Ins and Location Privacy After Family Violence

33:00 – A Tool, Not a Safety Plan: Tech Stalking Reminders

34:00 – What If Your Ex Refuses to Use a Co-Parenting App?

36:00 – Protection Orders, Mediation and Raising the App

37:00 – Fee Waivers for Family Violence and Financial Duress

38:00 – Defence Force Discount Explained

40:00 – OurFamilyWizard Cost: Essentials, Premium and Max

43:00 – Erin's Best Advice: Pause Before You Reply

44:00 – What to Embroider on a Cushion This Week

🎧 Episodes Mentioned

Coercive Control and Your Kids – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728

Co-Parenting With a High Conflict, Narcissistic or Avoidant Ex – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-how-to-successfully-do-it-even-with-a/id1503451022?i=1000559535573

Take the Divorce Personality Quiz – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587

Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive Control Goes Digital – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403

Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/from-fear-to-freedom-creating-a-safety-plan-before/id1503451022?i=1000741625311

Co-Parenting Without Court Orders – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-without-court-orders-the-real-rules-and/id1503451022?i=1000735234386

🔗 Links & Resources

OurFamilyWizard Australia – https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au

Fee waiver (via your lawyer, mediator or support professional): prohelp@ourfamilywizard.com

Help using the app: info@ourfamilywizard.com

📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000

🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat"

🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog