Why would you ever want to be bored?

What is wellbeing and what does it look like to bring wellbeing practices into a messy world? Do we understand what wellbeing means? Or is there some misunderstanding in the modern world?

Three Key Thoughts

1. Our wellbeing needs different kinds of support at different times in our life.

2. Wellbeing is progressive and you can only work on the next layer when you’ve gone through the process of the previous.

3. Wellbeing isn’t a one-size-fits-all – it’s finding what works for an individual in a particular moment in time.

What is the comfort zone and where did it come from? Is it of benefit to our performance?

Why is self-awareness relevant to the comfort zone, and how can we identify when it’s time to move out of our comfort zone and how can we do that safely?

Three Key Thoughts

1. The Comfort Zone is a natural (and enjoyable) state for some people.
2. From Comfort, you can move into Learning (where you can be affected by other people’s opinions) and then into Growth, before going back into Comfort.
3. If you have the self-awareness to know how you’re wired you can explore the world in your own way at your own time.

Three Key Thoughts

1. Being and Becoming have very specific meanings within the field of philosophy. This is relevant in your daily life when you want to develop your self-awareness.
2. Being and Becoming offer different energies, so by being more aware of your needs at any one time, you can choose one, the other or balance the two for your own development.
3. Discovering who you are is equal in importance to developing into the being you want to be. You are always being, and always becoming, but you choose where to place your awareness and your actions.

How would you define self-talk? Is it the narrative that you play inside your head? The stories you consciously or subconsciously tell yourself? How do you talk to yourself about yourself? We answer these and more.

Three Key Thoughts

1. Self-talk can be negative, neutral, or positive.
2. When you’ve got 5 minutes, ask yourself “What do I need to do to rejuvenate myself right now?”
3. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) tells us that you can change anything in an instant or even quicker than that. That’s the power of the mind, and self-talk is key in that.

Who do you know who manages their time effectively? When Clay and Naomi discuss time, they really get into it! With very different experiences we hear lots of ideas that we can ponder on and explore for ourselves. One thing they do agree on though is the enjoyment of creating blocks of time where “no-one wants a piece of me” as Clay puts it.

Contemplating the Zen principle of creating duality takes the conversation to a different perspective. When we think “I want to have time” but we don’t feel we have it, we’ve created a duality, a split in our minds, a tension. When we find a way to let go of the duality, we also let go of the feeling of “lack” and when you no longer have a “want” you also no longer have feelings of anxiety or stress.

Different types of thinking and relating to time are essential to human survival - so long as you employ the right thinking style at the right time! Does facing your own mortality help you become fearless, and more productive? The clarity can give you can motivate you to take immediate, big action.

When you’re contemplating “time” as a topic, try asking yourself “Is it my relationship with time that’s an issue, or my relationship with myself.” Clay always says “We all have the same amount of time - 24 hours in a day” and he’s right, but how do you put yourself in a state of choice about how you spend your time?

Can you take something away from this episode and find time for yourself?

Three Key Thoughts

1. Much of the way we have been programmed to view time is the Western philosophy that “time is money.” This concept of having to be productive and having to make money puts pressure on us that can severely limit pleasure and relaxation.
2. Time is the only dimension that we can’t manipulate.
3. Being a “people pleaser” is likely to mean you have a habit of prioritising other people’s needs and wants over your own, leading to very little, if any, time for the real you to be revealed.

Many questions are posed in this episode and in discussing the answers to ones such as “who am I?” and “what do I do” we get an insight into Clay and Naomi personally that we can relate to and ask the same questions of ourselves.

Clay shares Robert Dilts’ Logical Levels, most commonly found in NLP, and in explaining the constructed diagram, it is clear that this tool is valuable in understanding where you might be stuck in your self-exploration. The question 'can you be intentional without clarity?' is raised under the umbrella that being clear on your identity can bring clarity from which to not just exist, but thrive.

Both Clay and Naomi talk about how they self-identify in their current space; Clay with more of an empowered “work” focus, Naomi with a more “personal” focus. In revealing his current list of top 3 self-identified labels, Clay explains how this fuels his work.

Archetypes are discussed from the original model to how using them consciously can strengthen your identity, bring you into not just alignment but authenticity, and adopting or discarding behaviors along the way.

Three Key Thoughts

1. Choose to start with “why” or “what” depending on where you are at in your personal development and what you're looking to achieve
2. When you identify a lack of congruence between your behavior and your capability you have a vital piece of information for your self-development.
3. When you self-identify, do it consciously and empower yourself for your own wellbeing.

“The Art of Contemplation”
What is contemplation and how is it the same or different from meditation or mindfulness?
How do we contemplate and for what purpose? Clay shares his process for contemplation which in Naomi’s mind takes journaling and gives it a depth, a substance, and a meaning that lasts far longer than the space created for the contemplation. Contemplation in Clay’s approach starts with creating a pause to connect and ends with action that can be tracked so you can see your progress - which maintains motivation and connection to life at large. Clay shares a long list of benefits - all things that can be reached by other actions too - the process of contemplation enables the sum to be bigger than the parts.

In this episode Clay and Naomi return from a break in which we had both individually and jointly reflected on our podcast journey and where we wanted to take it next. From privately contemplating #DigitalCalm’s future we share our plans here so whether we’re new to you, or old friends, you can join us as we move forward.

The soundtrack for today has a gentle, mellow feel, enabling you to unwind into a space of relaxation where you may choose to contemplate from.

Dictionary Definition: contemplate: 1. Survey with the eyes or in the mind 2. Regard (an event) as possible 3. Intend: have as one’s purpose 4. meditate
Taken from The Oxford English Reference Dictionary

Three Key Thoughts

1. Contemplation is a process by which we reconnect with ourselves and the world at large.

2. Clay’s Contemplative Process offers a dual purpose: a reason for contemplating and a process that can repeatedly deliver outcomes

3. The concept that the brain is an associative tool is relevant to contemplation, both in the content exploration and how to track your thoughts and progress.

Resources Mentioned in Ep.35

Note-taking apps
Obsidian: https://obsidian.md/
Logseq: https://logseq.com/ “A privacy-first, joyful platform for knowledge management and collaboration.”

Connect with us in these places:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DigitalCalm
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Listen to previous Clay & Naomi podcasts:
Mixcloud: https://www.mixcloud.com/digitalcalm/
The Wisdom Experience Podcast: https://thewisdomexperiencepodcast.co.uk/ (Talk only)

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#DigitalCalm is an infotainment podcast offering the opportunity to pause, unplug from the outside world, and reflect. We share the thoughts we’re exploring within the world of wellbeing and self-discovery with an applied philosophical slant. In contemplating with us, you’ll wind down, relieving the stress of the day and enhancing your personal journey, clarifying your thinking, and generating new ideas and insights that satisfy you.