Have you become so accustomed to feeling stressed that you actually feel uncomfortable when you're not?

Perhaps you thrive on deadlines, fill every spare moment with something to do or find yourself feeling guilty when you finally sit down to rest.

But what if busyness has become more than a habit? What if it's become part of how you define yourself?

In this episode of The Curious Pause, I take a deeper look at our relationship with stress and explore why some of us seem to seek out the very pressures that leave us feeling exhausted.

I'm not suggesting that stress addiction is a recognised medical condition. It isn't. But I do think we can become so familiar with urgency, pressure and constant activity that slowing down begins to feel uncomfortable.

I explore the buzz we sometimes get from working under pressure, the satisfaction of being the person everyone relies on and why we can find ourselves creating more work even when we desperately need a break.

I also reflect on the expectations we absorb throughout our lives, particularly the belief that being busy means being productive, valuable or successful.

Drawing on my own experiences, I share how I've learnt to move away from constantly doing and towards a more balanced way of living.

Because sometimes the most challenging thing isn't finding time to rest. It's allowing ourselves to enjoy that rest without feeling guilty.

In this episode, I explore:

• 🧠 Why stress and pressure can sometimes give us a buzz.
• ⏰ How we can become dependent on last-minute deadlines to motivate ourselves.
• 💚 The 'Mum Martyr Club' and the habit of putting everyone else's needs before our own.
• 🏃 Why busyness can become part of our identity.
• 🌿 How constant activity can prevent us from recognising our feelings and needs.
• 🪷 Why slowing down can initially feel uncomfortable.
• ✨ The importance of awareness, acceptance and learning to simply be rather than constantly do.

Something to ponder

Imagine you've finished everything you need to do today.

No emails waiting, no appointments, no washing, no one asking you for anything.

You have an entire afternoon to yourself.

How does that feel?

Wonderful? Or does a little voice immediately start reminding you of all the things you could be doing?

And here's the question I'd really love you to ponder:

Who would you be if you stopped measuring your worth by how much you do?

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Mentioned in this episode

Kirsten Sweeting Morelli, who has described stress as 'the new crack', a provocative comparison that invites us to question our relationship with pressure and busyness.

Dr Sara Gottfried, who has written about the 'Mum Martyr Club' and the tendency to put everyone else's needs before our own.

A gentle invitation

You don't have to change everything overnight.

Perhaps begin by noticing where your time and energy are going, what brings you fulfilment and what leaves you feeling depleted.

And remember, rest isn't something you have to earn. It's part of being human.

🎙️ The Curious Pause

The place to pause, listen and remember.

If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who might benefit from giving themselves permission to slow down.

Until next time, pause, listen and remember.

How often have you said, "I'm so stressed!" or "There just aren't enough hours in the day"?

Stress has become such a familiar part of everyday life that we barely question it anymore. But have we become so accustomed to feeling stressed that we've forgotten what it feels like not to be?

In this episode of The Curious Pause, I explore what stress actually is, how it affects our bodies and minds, and why a natural survival response can become a problem when we rarely give ourselves time to recover.

From imagining a hungry lion appearing in the countryside to building a children's tower of blocks, I share some simple ways to understand how stress works.

Imagine each block representing a different demand on your body or mind. A poor night's sleep, running late, getting stuck in traffic, skipping lunch or dealing with another problem at work. The blocks keep piling up until one seemingly insignificant event sends the whole tower tumbling down.

We often blame that final incident for our reaction, when the real problem may be the stress that's been accumulating over days, weeks or even months.

I also explore why stress isn't always bad, why we all respond differently to the same situations, and how physical, emotional and environmental pressures can quietly accumulate without us even noticing.

Drawing on my background in nursing and personalised health, I reflect on the importance of listening to our bodies, recognising the early warning signs and giving ourselves permission to rest.

In this episode, I explore:

• 🦁 Why our fight, flight or freeze response is essential for survival.
• 🧱 How everyday stresses accumulate until our tower comes tumbling down.
• 🌿 Why stress isn't always harmful and how it can sometimes help us perform.
• 💚 The effects of prolonged stress on our physical and emotional wellbeing.
• 🧠 How our thoughts and beliefs can influence our stress response.
• 👂 Why listening to our bodies matters just as much as listening to our minds.
• 🌸 Simple ways to create more space for rest, recovery and balance.

Something to ponder

Have you become so accustomed to being busy that you've forgotten how to rest?

What are the little building blocks of stress in your life that you've stopped noticing?

And what one small change might create a little more space for you?

You don't have to solve everything today. Sometimes awareness is enough.

Mentioned in this episode

In my book Beyond Hot and Crazy: A Radical Guide to Living Well with Menopause, I explore the relationship between stress, health and wellbeing, particularly during menopause.

Coming next

Are You Addicted to Stress?

Can we become so accustomed to busyness, pressure and constant demands that slowing down actually feels uncomfortable?

That's what I'll be exploring in the next episode.

🎙️ The Curious Pause

The place to pause, listen and remember.

If this episode resonates with you, I'd love you to share it with someone who might benefit from a little more space in their life.

Until next time, pause, listen and remember.

Sometimes we become so caught up in what we're doing that we forget to notice what's happening within us.

In this episode of The Curious Pause, recorded beside my local canal on a beautiful sunny morning, I explore a simple practice I call tuning in.

For me, tuning in brings together pausing and contemplation. It doesn't need a meditation cushion or half an hour of spare time. I often do it at traffic lights, between tasks or when I'm out walking.

It begins with the breath.

How am I breathing right now? Is my breath flowing easily and deeply, or has it become shallow and caught high in my chest?

Then I move my attention into my body.

What can I feel? Tension? Warmth? An ache? My feet on the ground? The breeze on my skin?

Next come the emotions.

What am I actually feeling right now?

There is no right or wrong answer. The purpose isn't to change anything. It's simply to notice.

And finally, I leave a little space and see what pops up.

Perhaps my body is telling me I'm thirsty, hungry or need to move. Perhaps I need to rest. Maybe I suddenly feel the urge to call someone.

Our bodies are communicating with us all the time.

The question is: are we listening?

This simple practice has been one of the biggest changes in my own life, and the more I've used it, the easier it has become to notice what's happening not only around me, but within me.

So today, take a moment.

Pause.

Tune in.

Listen to your breath, your body and your emotions.

And then leave a little space to discover what comes up.

My Tune in - Pause meditation can be downloaded at https://www.pamlob.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Pause-1.mp3

🎧 The Curious Pause: the place to pause, listen and remember.