How do you begin to feel safe again when betrayal has shaken your trust, your relationship and your sense of self?

In this episode, Jeremy Mast welcomes therapist, author and betrayal trauma specialist Mari Lee for a compassionate conversation about healing after infidelity, pornography addiction and sexual betrayal.

Drawing on her personal experience and work with betrayed partners, Mari explores why checking, replaying conversations and constantly searching for reassurance can become part of the response to betrayal. She discusses the shame many partners carry, the impact of gaslighting and why being told to “just move on” can leave people feeling even more alone.

Mari also guides listeners through a vivid imagery exercise and shares ways to approach recovery through mindfulness, self-compassion, supportive relationships and clearer boundaries.

Whether you’ve experienced betrayal yourself, are supporting someone who has, or work with couples navigating recovery, this conversation offers understanding and hope.

In this episode, we explore:

• Mari’s personal story and what led her to support betrayed partners.
• Understanding hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts and safety-seeking behaviors.
• Mindfulness and guided imagery as tools for grounding.
• Gaslighting, self-blame and the pressure to forgive before you’re ready.
• Why rebuilding trust involves consistent actions over time.
• Finding support that understands betrayal trauma.
• Reclaiming your needs, values, boundaries and personal agency.
• Making room for anger, grief and the future you thought you would have.

Connect with Mari Lee

For counseling inquiries: mari@growthcounselingservices.com

For therapist consultation, business coaching and book-writing support: mari@thecounselorscoach.com

Connect with Jeremy and the Center for Integrative Change

Looking for support on your recovery journey? Visit CICFreeConsult.com to schedule a free consultation with a therapist or coach.

If this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone who may need it and subscribe to The Compassionate Recovery Podcast.

Recovery is hard work. You don’t have to do it alone.

Licensed therapist and The Compassionate Recovery host Jeremy Mast welcomes Spencer Posey, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex addiction therapist, to discuss how Christian faith can shape recovery from porn and compulsive sexual behaviors and the impact on betrayed partners. They note faith can intensify shame and stigma, leading people to label themselves “addicted” even when patterns may not meet clinical criteria, and contrast this with the ICD-11 category of compulsive sexual behavior disorder. Spencer describes the church’s frequent use of labels like “moral failure” and how shame fuels the addiction cycle, while offering a scriptural reframe using Zechariah 3 and Mark 9 to emphasize God meeting people in brokenness rather than condemnation. They also connect shame reduction to improved relationship repair and encourage both struggling individuals and partners that they are not alone and that supportive resources and community can help.

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast

01:19 Meet Spencer Posey

03:30 Faith Shame and Porn

08:01 Shame Cycle Explained

10:00 Zechariah Reclothing Image

14:17 Addiction Labels and Language

19:56 Recovery Steps with Faith

29:56 Couples Trust Rebuilding

33:49 Betrayed Partners in Church

36:52 Advice for Men and Partners

42:53 Resources and Closing

Jeremy Mast introduces the Compassionate Recovery Podcast and interviews Detroit psychotherapist and author Dr. Ken Adams about enmeshment as a developmental trauma issue. Dr. Adams defines enmeshment as excessive emotional closeness and dependency where boundaries feel inconceivable, leading to submission and subjugation of self, anxious attachment, and a diminished sense of identity. He describes the internal experience as chronic guilt, misplaced loyalty, and anxiety that disrupt autonomy and relationships, often placing a romantic partner “in the back seat” to the family of origin. Dr. Adams distinguishes “divorcing” internal obligation contracts from “amputating” parents, emphasizing renegotiated family roles, reordered loyalties toward self and partner, and protecting “ritual space” for personal growth. He links enmeshment to sexual problems and sex addiction as an escape and misplaced rebellion.

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast

01:17 Meet Dr Ken Adams

02:08 New Book Announcement

03:39 What Is Enmeshment

06:10 Origins and Early Clues

08:38 Emotional Experience and Guilt

12:07 Divorcing the Internal Contract

14:32 Boundaries Beyond Distance

18:29 Partners and Loyalty Binds

24:30 Enmeshment and Sexual Acting Out

27:23 Resources for Adults and Parents

33:23 Renegotiating Loyalties

37:29 Protecting Ritual Space

41:50 Transparency Without Submission

43:39 Wrap Up and Next Steps

44:21 Final Outro

Links:

Dr. Ken Adams: www.overcomingenmeshment.com

Center for Integrative Change: www.CICFreeConsult.com