In this episode of The Collective Couch, Allie and Emily speak with Tanya Younce about emotional intelligence and her book, Mastering Emotional Intelligence in Relationships. We explain why emotional intelligence is essential for resolving conflict and for keeping long-term relationships healthy. We describe clear skills such as naming emotions, noticing triggers, listening with empathy, and regulating strong feelings. We outline practical communication tools like "I-statements" and a three-part apology to repair ruptures. We invite listeners to use the "How We Feel" app, read Tanya’s book, and practice these tools with their partners to build connection and reduce resentment.

In this episode of The Collective Couch, we identify toxic positivity and social comparison as the principal forces eroding emotional authenticity and well-being, particularly as they intensify during the holiday season.

Social media highlight reels impose unrealistic standards and can conjure a sense of inadequacy, while we sugarcoat difficult feelings under the guise of gratitude. We advocate for deliberate interventions: curating our social feeds, practicing compassionate self-talk, setting protective boundaries, and permitting the full spectrum of affective experience without problem-solving. We also offer relational strategies for addressing toxic positivity in others, and curating our "circle," and embracing the "messy middle."

Spooky season is supposed to be fun, but it can also crank up your fear response fast. When your body flips into fight, flight, or freeze, it can feel like you’re “too much” or out of control, even when nothing is technically wrong. We dig into what dysregulation actually looks like in real life and how to come back to center without shaming yourself for having normal human emotions.

We start with awareness: a simple body scan to spot tension, shakiness, clenched jaw, or stress showing up in your gut. From there, we talk about the nervous system’s “memory board” and why a smell, a place, or a familiar cue can trigger a reaction before you’ve even named it. That context matters, especially during busy seasons when your system is already running hot and you’re more likely to snap, shut down, or spiral.

Then we bring it home to parenting and relationships. We prefer regulated parenting over chasing “gentle” as a personality trait. Anger isn’t the enemy, but what we do with it can create ruptures, and repair starts with ownership and a real apology. We also share practical tools you can practice before you’re on fire: progressive muscle relaxation, 5-4-3-2-1 grounding, sour candy as a quick sensory reset, and box breathing with belly breathing (plus an easy way to teach it to kids). We wrap with ideas for daily check-ins, end-of-day exhale plans, and small rituals that help your body shift into safety.

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