Since this movie doesn't do it for you:

WARNING: VIEWERS WHO ARE PHOTOSENSITIVE SHOULD AVOID THE FIRST ALL OF THIS MOVIE

Okay, but seriously, if you are photosensitive, don't watch the credits for this movie. Maybe don't watch this movie.

Or maybe do watch this movie and realize how much better your life is for it.

Josh called this one from a million miles away. His cohost Ryan likes this movie for all the WRONG reasons. It is an absolute fever dream of some hack, arthouse film student's midterm assignment after they spent all night drinking Jolt Cola watching The Matrix, Assault on Precinct 13, The Muppets, and Mission Impossible. You think you know cinema? You REALLY think you know cinema? You think you know what's possible from cinematic expression? Have you seen Godzilla Final Wars? No?

Then you don't know true cinema. Not yet you don't.

Here's the thing. Captions guy doesn't even know where to begin trying to describe this movie. It probably defies description. It's like nothing you've ever seen before. There's mutant N**is. Every Godzilla monster from the whole freaking franchise. Matrix references. The absolutely most absurd representation of Harlem you've ever seen and ever will see. This movie offends most of the senses, and if it could be served on a china platter, it'd offend taste, too.

And yet.

It is a masterpiece.

Strap in. Buckle up. It's Godzilla gd Final Wars. Get ready for the most 2000 movie you've ever seen. Ever.

Alright, Cinephiles, I'm not even going to bury the lead on this one. Josh told Ryan this is considered one of the greatest Godzilla films of all time, if not one of THE greatest films of all time period, noting, in particular, that it currently boasts a Rotten Tomatoes score of an immaculate 100%

100% Rotten Tomatoes score.

One of the greatest films of all time, ever.

.......ACCORDING TO SIX WHOLE PEOPLE.

Even the AUDIENCE SCORE, which would normally stand at a very respectable 93% is for TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY REVIEWS. What kind of sample sizes are we talking about here, Josh?!

For reference, in case you think Description Guy is making hay over nothing, Godzilla Minus One, the most recent Godzilla movie made fully thirty years after this film, has over Five Thousand user reviews. Take that for what you will!

Anyway, this is the movie Godzilla dies.

No really, Godzilla straight up dies AGAIN in this flick.

Now, that's after some curious and slightly confusing Aliens(1986) and The Thing(1981) rip-off moments that lead to one of the more Lovecraftian villains in the franchise, as well as pyshics in helicopters and some James Bond level quips from a guy who flies a ship suspiciously named like SEX.

Oh what else is there to say about this one?

Six freaking reviews, I swear......

Godzilla Vs. Destoroyah was released in 1995 and stars Takuro Tatsumi, Yoko Ishino, Yasufumi Hayashi, and Megumi Odaka

The answer ALEX TREBEK (rest his soul, saints preserve us) gave was "A hybrid film combining elements of James Bond spy movies, fifties atomic invasion cinema, and an extended musical break." The question was...

What is "Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla"?

In the second instalment of our Godzilla Eras Tour (no relation to the Taylor Swift tour, this refers to the Godzilla eras and how they, you know what, just go listen to the first episode we explain it there), we're taking on the beast made of space titanium, invented by aliens but once broken by humans can only be fixed by a human who is an expert in alien technology (deep breath) MECHAGODZILLA!

Also, technically, humans don't break Mechagodzilla, it's either Anguruis or Godzilla, but podcast notes guy can't remember because this movie is so weird it all starts to run together in sort of a bizarre Godzilla goop.

Join Josh and Ryan as they break down the absolutely baffling musical choices, the ONE clever thing the movie does before ninety minutes of questionable decisions, and what the best methods for slowly steaming a person to death is (this is relavent to the movie, the aliens have really inefficient ways of dispatching their enemies).

Join us for: GODZILLA VS MECHAGODZILLA! Released 1974, starring Masaaki Daimon, Kazuya Aoyama, Reiko Tajima, and Akihiko Hirata

If you came here for Taylor Swift, we're serving up a different monster of entertainment (monster in his case being a good thing, like, you know how the eras tour was a monster tour that was incredibly successful and, like, a big huge thing? I've over-explained this)

IT'S A WHOLE GODZILLA MINI EVENT!

And as far as mini events go- this one is pretty massive. We're running down a feature film from every Godzilla era back to the very beginning. And speaking of beginning, we're starting with the original, the big number one, the lizard king Jim Morrison only wishes he could be...

Godzilla 1954. Okay, technically the name of this film is just straight up "Godzilla" but you have to put that year on there now so people know what you're talking about because there was Godzilla 1998 (previously reviewed in EPISODE 3 of this podcast), Godzilla 2014... I think there's another one in there but caption guy is too lazy to figure it out. Just, we're reviewing the first one first.

As an added bonus: your intrepid Host #2, Ryan, has never seen ANY of the Godzilla films except for Zilla 98 (again, for this podcast). Consequently, Ryan has also never heard ANY Taylor Swift albums, but that's besides the point. We're talking about the monster of Tokyo, not pop music. So you'll get to follow his discovery of this series as Josh takes him through SEVEN iconic films in one of the longest running franchises in history.

Are they all 'meh'? No, some of them are straight up awesome. Some are straight up terrible, but we'll get to those. This is a slight deviation from formula to take on a timeless series of movies that started as a deeply rooted social and scientific commentary on the impact of war and atomic technology, and eventually turned into... well... something else.

In the meantime, here's the first of the lot.

Godzilla 1954, staring Takashi Shimura, Akihiko Hirata, Akira Takarada, and Momoko Kôchi

Josh is back from Greece, and he brought stories with him of the birthplace of the gawds! Tune and to hear tales of mythology, travel, lore and a hilariously out of date but still somehow topically relevant because-time-is-a-flat-circle discussion of the Coldplay kiss cam incident! Is the entire professional world a joke and all of these executives unserious scam artists? We think so! But really, stay for the travel stories.

It's Morning Radio, TBD!

Morning Radio, TBD is a Slyjack Media, LLC production

Intro Music provided by Apple GarageBand Loops

Like what you hear? Check out our other podcast, The CineMeh Podcast available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Google podcasts.

Podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thecinemehpodcast

One, two

Krampus’s watching you

Three, four

Svartalfr at your door

Five, six

He’s got a switch of sticks

Seven, eight

You’re gonna end in chains

Nine, ten

Christmas’s at an end…

Cheer......... or fear?

This year, for our holiday special, Josh and Ryan are taking you to the dark side of the holidays, with a look at the 2015 riff on a classic piece of Eastern European folklore, Krampus.

Hoping for gingerbread cookies? They're here, but you're the one on the menu. Elf on a shelf? These elves brought their meathooks. Do you wanna build a snowman?! Careful it doesn't pull you into the underworld!

Or, maybe, this whole movie is a joking jab at every other Christmas classic out there, lampooning even the National Lampoons, skewering the claymation of yesteryear, and trodding upon the Hallmark outcomes that get hokier every year. It's the proverbial 'Dark Link' of the holiday movie universe. The balance to the holly jolly joy and saccharine sweet taste of too much candy and Christmas cinema. It's what the universe needs to stay spinning on its tenuous little spindle.

We'll let you decide.

Krampus was released in 2015 and stars Toni Collette, Adam Scott, David Koechner, and Allison Tolman.

From all of us here at The Cinemeh Podcast to you, our listeners, we wish you the sincerest of happy holidays, whatever you celebrate, as this year comes to a close. We value you as you an audience, and many of you, as treasured friends and family. Thanks for being with us for another year of mediocre movies, and here's to another in 2025.

The CineMEH Podcast is a Slyjack Media, LLC production

Like what you hear? Check out our other podcast, Morning Radio, TBD available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Google podcasts.

Podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/morningradiotbd

It’s ALL been building towards THIS! MAXIMUM EFFORT!

In our final installment of The CineMEH Podcast presents Marvel’s Deadpool movies as created by Fox, we are excited to bring you…

Deadpool and Wolverine!

Josh and Ryan go on a final extended rant about the the Marvel properties before Disney got them in their Mickey gloves, what the future of the multiverse is, and whether or not this was actually a good movie. Ryan thinks it was. Josh has other thoughts.

You’ll get to see Paul Rudd age! You’ll get to hear the cosmic wailing of an infinite number of parallel universes! You’ll get to smell the musty inside of a superhero mask ONE. MORE. TIME.

That’s not to say we won’t faithfully bring you future Marvel movies, or future past Marvel movies, or even future past future Deadpool Marvel movies. It just means that this particular venture down the Marvel multiverse has reached its inevitable conclusion and we’re both melancholy and thrilled.

Wanna experience a half dozen fights between two nigh-invincible slobberknockers who are competing to drop the ‘F’ bomb the most times?

This is the movie, the film experience, the cinematic masterpiece… and the podcast for YOU.

Deadpool and Wolverine was released in 2024 and stars HUGH MOTHERF***ING JACKMAN, the guy from Van Wilder, Jennifer Garner, Wesley Snipes, and Steve Rogers.

The CineMEH Podcast is a Slyjack Media, LLC production

Like what you hear? Check out our other podcast, Morning Radio, TBD available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Google podcasts.

podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/morningradiotbd

…Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel Marvel.

What’s better than ONE Marvel’s Deadpool movie?! Two Marvel’s Deadpool movies!

Please note that Marvel did not actually release the Deadpool movies, they are in fact Fox properties, but we’ll be damned if we do anything at all that raises the profile of THAT fallen empire.

Josh and Ryan are back in part two of our Marvel’s Deadpool series with the aptly titled… Deadpool 2!

Co-starring a guy you could be forgiven for mistaking as Thanos, a sarcastically charming performance turn by the star of Joker (that’s… that’s Zazie Beetz, y’all… our podcast note writer has a crush on her), and with appearances by a host of celebrities in C-Tier superhero roles, this gonzo second outing of the merc with a mouth is a rollickin’ halfway-decent time!

And since you don’t get to enjoy the brilliant Marvel’s Deadpool performance by our very own Josh, please know that he confidently delivered the entire episode’s remarks IN. A. DEADPOOL. MASK.

You ready? Time for Maximum Effort.

Deadpool 2 was released in 2018 and stars Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Josh Brolin, and Zazie Beetz.

The CineMEH Podcast is a Slyjack Media, LLC production

Intro music in this episode courtesy of Pexels artist EpicSoundtracks.

Like what you hear? Check out our other podcast, Morning Radio, TBD available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Google podcasts.

podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/morningradiotbd

…Marvel, Marvel, Marvel