Since this movie doesn't do it for you:

WARNING: VIEWERS WHO ARE PHOTOSENSITIVE SHOULD AVOID THE FIRST ALL OF THIS MOVIE

Okay, but seriously, if you are photosensitive, don't watch the credits for this movie. Maybe don't watch this movie.

Or maybe do watch this movie and realize how much better your life is for it.

Josh called this one from a million miles away. His cohost Ryan likes this movie for all the WRONG reasons. It is an absolute fever dream of some hack, arthouse film student's midterm assignment after they spent all night drinking Jolt Cola watching The Matrix, Assault on Precinct 13, The Muppets, and Mission Impossible. You think you know cinema? You REALLY think you know cinema? You think you know what's possible from cinematic expression? Have you seen Godzilla Final Wars? No?

Then you don't know true cinema. Not yet you don't.

Here's the thing. Captions guy doesn't even know where to begin trying to describe this movie. It probably defies description. It's like nothing you've ever seen before. There's mutant N**is. Every Godzilla monster from the whole freaking franchise. Matrix references. The absolutely most absurd representation of Harlem you've ever seen and ever will see. This movie offends most of the senses, and if it could be served on a china platter, it'd offend taste, too.

And yet.

It is a masterpiece.

Strap in. Buckle up. It's Godzilla gd Final Wars. Get ready for the most 2000 movie you've ever seen. Ever.