Alex unveils his homemade cable network, complete with custom channels, vintage commercials, and enough legally obtained media to avoid making another entertainment decision for the rest of his life. Naturally, John and Nick immediately begin renaming the operation, and Boz Turner Media is born.

From there, the conversation wanders through funeral processions gone horribly wrong, suspicious bathhouse business practices, old men reading newspapers, Detroit sports media, and the particular kind of dumb guy Alex prefers.

The boys kick things off by arguing over Kendrick, Drake, aging into bad music, and whether becoming an adult means surrendering your taste to “Jack & Diane.” From there, a Tigers game turns into a full investigation of stadium waves, baseball heckling, bullpen toys, and the lawless physics of the Silverdome.

They also get into gay bars, tattoos delivered by aliens, missing frogs, rich people buying young blood, questionable wellness routines, and the logistics of identifying breast milk like a wine tasting. Eventually, Alex considers a run for small-town mayor before realizing his Body Zone history would immediately transform him into The Bozodiac Killer.

Nick introduces Mr. Crinkle, the tall, smiling creature who lives in the closet, follows you with his eyes and spends the night making unsettling noises with wrapping paper. Naturally, the guys immediately consider making him the official mascot of Boz-Vision.

Before that, they debate whether Wi-Fi is light, build several unnecessary Major League Baseball teams, rank Michigan hot dogs and learn that Alex’s homemade television network cannot survive the awesome power of 10-bit video. They also say goodbye to the Independent Comedy Club and remember the nights when the hang lasted until four in the morning.

The gang looks back on the final night of the Independent Comedy Club, including who stayed until sunrise, who nearly fell asleep driving home, and who ended the evening listening to Chinese sleep music on a couch.

From there, John launches several confidently questionable history lessons while everyone debates 9/11 coverage, mutual combat laws, data centers, and whether Batman could survive a tiger, cocaine bear, or Komodo dragon.

There’s also elaborate Halloween costumes, seasonal male horniness, a hooker-assisted cat rescue, Alex’s legendary pimp chase story, and the creation of a new podcast nobody asked for: Dan Carlen with John Mahar.

The guys open with a deeply unsuccessful moment of silence before trying to figure out how sound escapes a black hole, what should be thrown into one, and whether the universe eventually snaps back like an old birthday balloon.

From there, the conversation wanders through legendary Metro Detroit beavers, fantasy football addiction, NFL players identified entirely by their knees, sumo wrestlers on the offensive line, and the tactical advantages of a sleep dick.

Then Michael Jackson, music biopics, blind people explaining colors, private investigators, and one extremely ill-advised game of human foosball all collide in the idea that gives the episode its title: no spinnies.

The boys head out to The Mild West, where the Wild West gets reimagined as a place with classy brothels, rich uncles, questionable frontier politics, and Alex making it approximately as far as St. Louis before deciding civilization is good enough.

Also this week: Lions trash talk, the strange economics of sports radio, rich gay couples, counterfeit Yeezys, aliens who crossed the galaxy because they can’t make ice cream, and the ongoing search for the smartest person alive.

Nick walks a table after getting into it with a veteran, then accidentally hustles a Canadian poker game after spending half the night pretending he knew what the chip colors meant.

The guys also get into childhood names they wished they had, growing up in wildly different Michigan high schools, why Cranbrook was fun to beat, and which historical era each of them would have thrived in.

This week, the mysterious power of Alex’s three-monitor lion setup finally gets a name: Tres Leones. A driver update briefly threatens the pride, Nick and John immediately notice the shift in energy, and a completely unnecessary argument breaks out over whether all three lions were technically there the whole time.

Elsewhere, the guys get into getting kicked out of the DMT realm, Fred Flintstone committing golf-course crimes, ancient Greek enemas, weaponized farts, Marines with frog voices, and whether being a five-star recruit means you should just go play football in Hawaii. There’s also plenty of Lions, Michigan, Ohio State, China, Shaq, and a proposed military training program run entirely by mean drag queens.