The Boundaries Blueprint with Michelle Elman
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This week, Kelsey sits down with the Queen of Boundaries herself — Michelle Elman (@michellelelman). Michelle is a London-based bestselling author of five books (including The Selfish Romantic and The Joy of Being Selfish), a board-certified life coach, and a TV regular who has a rare ability to make boundaries feel less like a buzzword and more like a toolkit you can actually use.
Michelle first made waves nearly a decade ago with her viral Scarred Not Scared campaign, after proudly posting a bikini photo that showcased the scars from 15 surgeries she underwent before the age of 20. Since then, she’s built a powerful platform dedicated to confidence, boundaries, and self-worth — and just last year, she demonstrated extraordinary resilience once again when she navigated a very public heartbreak with honesty and grace.
Together, Kelsey and Michelle explore practical scripts you can use to set boundaries at work, in friendships, and romantic relationships. They unpack why confidence isn’t built overnight but through small decisions, how to stop treating singlehood as a problem, and why timelines are social constructs that don’t define your worth.
In this conversation, Kelsey and Michelle dive into:
Why setting boundaries is hard — but living without them is harder
How to say “no” without overexplaining (and why it’s the kindest thing you can do)
The “boundary backlash” and how to move through it
Why selfish doesn’t have to be a dirty word
The volume dial analogy for balancing life without burnout
How to start building confidence today (and why confidence can be contagious)
Shifting your mindset following a breakup
How to actually feel feelings and move through them
Why being single is not a waiting room — and how to reframe your mindset around timelines
Michelle’s story is proof that when you set boundaries, own your story, and protect your energy, you can come back stronger every single time.
TOOLKIT:
Follow Michelle on Instagram: @MichelleLElman
Pick up a copy: The Selfish Romantic & The Joy of Being Selfish
In All Honesty: How to Feel Your Feelings Episode
Explore more of her work: michelleelman.com