How deep do the patterns that drive our drinking really go? In this transformative episode, Anna talks to Dr. Evette Rose, internationally renowned holistic counselor, trauma recovery expert, and author of Metaphysical Anatomy to reveal how trauma, inherited stress, and family conditioning can hardwire us for coping mechanisms like alcohol, long before we ever pick up a drink.

You’ll discover addiction is not just about willpower or habits. It’s about healing the imprints left by childhood, family history, and even foetal development. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking not just sobriety, but true freedom from old emotional wiring.

​Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Exploring trauma, nervous system wiring, and alcohol

03:25 Growing up: alcoholism, violence, and longing for connection

07:36 How childhood patterns of stress shape identity

09:18 Repeating family patterns in relationships

12:09 Intergenerational trauma and addiction predisposition

15:10 The impact of maternal stress on addiction risk

17:01 The placenta as a “memory bank” for trauma

18:36 Not just nurture, trauma transfer at a cellular and biological level

22:01 How generational trauma can be “programmed” into you

28:38 Coping mechanisms beyond alcohol

33:00 Why focusing only on “fixing” yourself keeps you stuck

35:37 Rapid regulation exercises for triggers and cravings

41:22 Practical body-based tools for rewiring safety

48:00 What if you don’t know your family history?

51:05 Healing not as correcting flaws, but updating old survival patterns.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by

Is quitting alcohol just about the drink itself, or is there something deeper at play? Anna Donaghey sits down with trauma-informed healer Emma Lyons, founder of The Trauma Matrix, to explore how shame hides beneath so many of our habits, including drinking, and keeps us stuck in self-judgment, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. If you’ve ever felt that gnawing ‘not enough’ feeling, or wondered why cutting back on booze feels so hard, this episode will help you see what’s really fueling the urge and give you powerful new tools for release.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Why releasing alcohol requires releasing shame

02:08 Meet Emma Lyons

04:49 Family scapegoat, inherited shame & the roots of addiction

07:54 Why therapy doesn’t work until you address shame

09:00 Shame vs. guilt: The toxic cocktail that attacks our sense of self

12:40 Manipulation, compliance, and the gaslighting of “for your own good”

13:39 How shame hijacks the body and drives coping strategies

17:16 Shame shuts down empathy

19:37 Narcissists, repression, and the Velcro effect of internalised shame

22:01 Scapegoats, golden children, and not being yourself

25:54 Imposter syndrome, perfectionism and anxiety are all just shame with better PR

28:43 Numbing shame with alcohol

30:51 How not-enoughness fuels drinking

32:01 Why shame is always toxic and why society says otherwise

35:41 How children can pick up parental shame, accidentally and unconsciously

38:39 Drinking to numb, feeling flawed, and repeating the pattern

39:31 You can’t bully shame into submission

48:17 What happens when shame is released

48:42 Why alcohol loses its job when shame no longer needs numbing

49:28 Where to find Emma Lyons (+free gift for listeners)

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram:

Is change really something to fear or the doorway to a brighter, more intentional life? What if the moments when everything feels uncertain are precisely when new possibilities emerge? In this uplifting episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey welcomes author and coach Eleanor Tweddell, whose book Another Door Opens explores the messy, hopeful, and deeply human process of navigating personal transformation.

Together, Anna and Eleanor unpack what it means to face closed doors whether it's about drinking, work, relationships, or life itself and how to turn endings into powerful new beginnings. If you’re grappling with resistance to change (or maybe just a nagging sense that something isn’t right), this conversation is packed with understanding, psychological insight, and practical strategies to help you move forward.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet Eleanor Tweddell, author and change expert

02:08 Why closed doors aren’t the end—change as an opening

03:04 Redundancy, discomfort, and listening to the inner voice

04:38 The Do Lecture Bootcamp, risk, and growth

05:48 Resistance vs. readiness: why “I’ll do it tomorrow” feels safer

08:33 The power and necessity of ownership when facing change

12:40 Micro-change in daily life: choice, triggers, and how we respond

14:55 The inevitability of change: we’re already masters at adapting

17:37 The importance of the pause: creating space and acknowledging what you need

19:32 Why alcohol is often our default “pause” and what listening to our emotions can reveal

22:14 Turning resistance into reflection: the first step to possibility

24:45 The messy middle: limiting beliefs, discomfort, and the courage to stay and learn

33:34 Support, connection, and the ripple effect of personal change

34:56 Playfulness as a tool: experiments, brainstorming, and expanding your sense of what’s possible.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

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