Actor: Adler Tomeo

Production: Tomeo Media

I have to tell a terrible tale,A terrible tale of woe.A sin rememberedA corpse, dismemberedA disgraceful gory show

It begins in a land, as tales often doIn a land unlike our own,When a Levite and a manFrom the Judahite clanMade a deal out of flesh, out of bone

They shook hands and agreed that this deal would be goodand the Levite left with with his prizeShe had a heart and a mindShe had nerve and a spineBut the Levite was most pleased with her eyes

As they left her family, left her homeShe seemed resigned to her fateBut when a year passedShe fled, she left fastShe ran back to her father’s front gate

And several months later the Levite appearedWith kind words he opened her ears,He said he had missed herHe held her and kissed herWith him, he vowed, there’s nothing to fear

But her father looked out at the dangerous trekWhich the priest and his daughter had plannedAnd he told them to feastone more day, at leastFor there was darkness spreading o’er the land

The Levite he laughed, laughed off the man’s worriesHe said that he had to leave nowSo they found as they wentOnce the trek had them spentWhat seemed like a quaint little town

They looked in the town for a place to lie down,To rest through the darkness of nightBut they found not a strangerTo keep them from dangerSo they rested a moment in plain sight

But then one person saw them and he told them to comeTo come and to stay in his spaceHe rushed them insideBefore the sun could subsideBehind the mountains that surround the place

Then the house was besiegedSurrounded by men, men who had a dark set of plansthey started to shoutWe saw a man, send him outGive your guest to us, he’ll be in safe hands

And the Levite did the most dastardly deedThat anyone ever could doHe grabbed his wifeAnd he gave them her lifeAnd he asked his host for more stew

And he ate and he slept and he shed not a tearAs her body was beaten and tornWhen the morning arrivedShe was no longer aliveAnd the Levite took a moment to mourn

But He did not weep or cry or wailOr cover his body in ashHe picked up a knifeAnd he picked up his wifeAnd he started to cut and to slash

As he cut off her hands and he legs and her headHe could see all the prize he had wonHe saw a heart and a mindHe saw nerves and a spineBut a person? He saw not a one.

These men, he felt sure, should pay for their sinSo he sent her parts all through the landOne tribe got her noseAnother her toesThe gruesome post did what he planned

It prompted a war, encouraged more deathDarkness and chaos and dreadBut if youre seeking a heroIn this tale you’ll find zeroYou’ll find only villains instead

This tale is a warning, a warning to allA darkness it seeks to illumineWhen we buy into liesThat a human’s a prizeWe do what seems rightin our very own eyesIt should be no surpriseThat someone decidesthat another human is less than a human

Summary

This episode is all about how I get obsessed with where my packages are and when they will arrive and how I watch the flight trackers on airplanes and how none of that tells me how large the world is and so I start to think it is small. Small enough that I am the only one who will fit. It is about how we should at least acknowledge that there is distance and danger and, perhaps, other people, too.

Summary

A chance encounter at a pizza place led me on a journey to understand why it made me so happy. Through conversations with three childhood friends - Tony, Marc, and Andy - I discover something profound about how authentic relationships actually form. This isn’t just nostalgia; it’s an investigation into what made these friendships different and why they’ve lasted over 30 years.

The answer challenges everything we think we know about building trust and community: these relationships weren’t formed through careful trust-building, but through accidental vulnerability - being goofy and open before they knew it was dangerous.

Timestamps

(00:00) - Pizza Encounter

(02:17) - Sharing Stories of Non-Betrayal

(05:20) - More Stories of Kids Being Kids

(07:57) - Musical Insights

(10:23) - Writing Songs Naked

(11:55) - Accidental Vulnerability

(13:50) - What does Community Mean Now? Andy

(15:39) - What does Community Mean Now? Marc

(16:53) - What does Community Mean Now? Tony

(18:32) - The Magic of Getting Lost in Chicago

(20:18) - Thank Yous and End Matters

Key Themes

Accidental Vulnerability: How being vulnerable before knowing it’s risky can create deeper trust than calculated relationship-building

Childhood Innocence: The advantage of acting without self-consciousness and how “being dumb enough to not know you couldn’t” enables authentic connection

Safety and Trust: Why absolute trust (“no backstabbing to worry about”) was the foundation that allowed for complete vulnerability

Kids Being Kids: How physical playfulness, shared silliness, and creative collaboration build lasting bonds

Community Creation: The difference between consuming community versus participating in creating it

Memorable Quotes

“I was never gonna betray anyone. I felt like I knew that about all you guys too.” - Marc

“We acted goofy because we did not yet know that was dangerous.” - Eric

“The reason I can play music is because I was like dumb enough to not know I couldn’t… That’s part of the advantage of being young.” - Marc

“Self-consciousness kicked in at some point, right? It turns on at some point in your life.” - Marc

“It’s like flipping a switch… there’s people I see all the time, it’s still awkward. Yeah. And there’s people I see all the time. It’s still awkward.” - Tony

Stories Featured

• The Restaurant Encounter: A chance meeting that triggered decades-old memories

• The Charlie Horse Ritual: Daily “attacks” that became bonding instead of bullying

• Three Amigos in the Hallway: Singing movie songs while people stared, not caring about social judgment

• The Newsies Secret: Sharing vulnerable experiences (liking musicals as teenage boys)

• They Might Be Giants Concert: Getting lost in Chicago and finding the universe singing their experience back to them

Reflection Questions

• What relationships in your life were formed through accidental vulnerability rather than calculated trust-building?

• When did you first become self-conscious? What did you lose when that happened?

• How do you create safe spaces for others to be authentically themselves?

• What would it look like to be “dumb enough” to try something vulnerable today?

• Who are the people you can “flip a switch” with, even after years apart?

Resources & References

• The Three Amigos (1986) - The movie that became a bonding ritual

• Stand By Me - Referenced as similar to their childhood adventures

• They Might Be Giants - The band whose concert provided a transcendent moment

Call to Action

Think about the communities you’re part of. Are you consuming them or participating in creating them? This week, try one act of accidental vulnerability - do something goofy, genuine, or slightly risky in the service of connection.

About The Better

This podcast explores what it means to experience “the better” - true rest, community, and purpose - in our daily lives. Through personal stories and conversations, we investigate how authentic connection actually works and what it takes to build communities where everyone can thrive.

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Share this episode with someone you can “flip a switch” with - an old friend who knew you before you learned to be careful.