Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the concept of freedom through the conquest of self.

Per the Dhammapada, we should direct straying thoughts. The path to happiness is through quieting these elusive thoughts with single-mindedness, which brings freedom.

We struggle from confusing wants and needs and forgetting the primary goal: freedom.

This freedom is not worldly (economic, political, or social). It’s freedom from the ego. When the ego drops, it’s like a curtain falling, revealing the reality. This is the noumenal world described by philosopher Immanuel Kant.

We are caught up primarily in the phenomenal aspect of life, seeing the world through the lens of egocentricity, which acts as a barrier to our understanding reality itself.

Lola shares Plato's Allegory of the Cave, in which characters are completely focused on shadows on the wall. The spiritual task is to turn around and see the light that creates those shadows.

The Buddhist parable of the poisoned arrow. A monk has all these questions for the Buddha about afterlife, etc, and says he’s giving up if the Buddha doesn’t provide answers. The Buddha responds by asking if a wounded man would refuse to have the arrow removed until he knows all the details about the shooter. The Buddha's teaching is to remove the arrow of suffering. Not provide all the answers.

Lola tells the Tibetan story of the servant obsessed with learning the secret of miracles. The Master’s advice is to recite a mantra, and to not think of monkeys as he does so. His resulting experience is the lesson.

Lola then discusses the Sanskrit gunas (qualities in man). The importance of cultivating sattvic (fine, high frequency) qualities like sensitivity, love of beauty, and inner harmony. We can choose to exist as inner noise or as a temple of sacred silence.

Many assume that Plato's Republic is about government. Then why is its subtitle: The Conquest of Self? If the book is about conquering the self, then the "philosopher king" represents our wisdom, the "guardians" our will, and the "laborers/merchants" our desires/appetites.

Lola explores Plato's idea in the book of regulating art. Rather than think of it as censorship in a republic, look at it in terms of what art you want to expose yourself to. An important step in self-conquest is observing what emotions art evokes in us.

True philosophy is “love of wisdom,” she concludes, not complex “philosophical” ideas. Originally philosophy was an instruction to go within, and utilize the "noetic quality" for transformation.

Sep 5, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee draws on the Dhammapada to emphasize a core principle of spiritual success: vigilance, or watching. The fool is careless and enslaved by desire. The master has firm resolve.

Man is the only creature on Earth with the ability to choose. Unlike animals and plants, whose lives are determined by nature, humans possess a mind that allows for conscious choice.

Man is not born a true being but a becoming. He is a state of perpetual movement between opposing attitudes and emotional states. This becoming is marked by a continual search, an inner groping.

Lola calls it “faith without an object.” This search for something greater raises the perennial philosophical question: Who are you?

Lola discusses philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, who calls man a “project"—one who creates himself by his own effort. Man is born an opportunity, a possibility, who must become actual.

The crucial action is making an aware choice, choosing one’s life with full consciousness, rather than simply letting decisions happen passively, out of convenience, desire, or external pressure. Also, not choosing is a choice.

Lola discusses two schools of thought: the Essence-Central School, which holds that man is born with a ready-made essence that merely needs to unfold (like an acorn becoming an oak), and Existentialism, which maintains that man is born as pure existence, and his essence must be actively created.

Lola recaps the core principles of Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths:

The First Truth is the fact of suffering (dukkha), which arises because life is constant change, and change can never satisfy the human desire for permanent pleasure.

The Second Truth identifies the cause of suffering as selfish desire—a constant "thirst" or fire that only burns brighter the more it is fed. This desire unrealistically expects life to satisfy every selfish whim, which is as absurd as expecting a banana tree to bear mangoes.

The Third Truth offers hope: because suffering has a cause, it has an end. Extinguishing the fire of selfish desire leads to a state of wakefulness and joy, known as Nirvana.

The Fourth Truth provides the solution: the Eightfold Path, which she explains in detail.

Finally, Lee illustrates the deeper meaning of the Middle Way using the story of the Buddha and a disciple, who was over-exerting himself in ascetic practice. The Buddha showed him a stringed instrument, explaining that to make music, the strings must be tuned "neither too tight nor too loose—it has to be just right." This is the path to enlightenment: balance between extremes.

Lee explains how we can take the Middle Way between the world of appearance and the world of inner states of consciousness. The ultimate goal of continuous self-watching is to withdraw energy from the inner "clamoring crowd" of confusion to nourish the "new man" within. Through constant mindfulness and attention to the present moment, a window opens, and one experiences life not as a pure, empty, and all-encompassing presence. Aug 29, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, continues her discussion of the Dhammapada.

She warns us against mistaking the false for the true, urging us to look into our hearts and follow our true natures. Spiritual texts are meaningless without direct action.

Lola discusses the seeming conflict of seeking external rewards while professing detachment from the fruit of action.

Truth simply is. It is the truth of being, which human effort must uncover. Our chief obstacle is the web of conditioning. To find truth, one must deliberately extract oneself from this accidental conditioning of our societal pressures, and even our religious background.

The price of truth is rigorous personal effort. That is our payment.

Lola presents the story of the Siddhartha Gautama as the ultimate example of dedicated effort. His great renunciation, his adoption of the ascetic path, and his eventual realization that extreme mortification weakened his concentration. This led him to the “Middle Way."

The climax of his journey was under the fig tree where he vowed to remain until he found the way beyond death and decay.

The key to liberation is inwardness. The ancient Greeks believed the heart was the seat of wisdom and intuition. The heart is always pulsing in the present moment, unlike the mind, which is trapped in the past and future.

The question, "How do you go in?" is answered simply: "You simply stop going out." Inwardness is achieved by stopping the mind’s outward movement toward thoughts and desires.

Lee says to abandon the ways of the "lazy cowherd" who spends his time counting others' cows by merely reading the interpretations of the actual scripture instead of investigating the scripture itself—and seeking direct experience.

Aug 2, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the meaning of the Dhammapada -Twin Verses.

She discusses the importance of thought and self-mastery in shaping one's experience. We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.

An impure, conditioned mind leads to suffering, while a pure, unconditioned mind leads to unshakable happiness. We have, over and over, a choice of conduct: the easy path of catering to personal ego desires, or the difficult path of conscious transformation.

The negative path is effortless and offers temporary satisfaction. The positive path requires a great deal of effort and an active choice to go against one's conditioned nature.

For instance those who showed up this morning for Lola’s talk. It would’ve been easier, she says, to sleep in and relax. Their attendance was a choice to take the more difficult path toward awakening.

What is vital versus what is trivial? Using the metaphor of a poorly thatched roof, she warns that passion will seep through an untrained mind, while a well-trained mind remains impervious.

Lola examines the various Buddhist traditions that emerged after the Buddha's death. She describes the division into the Hinayana (Small Vehicle) and the Mahayana (Great Vehicle).

The practical method for self-transformation is Vipassana—the effortless effort meditation. This technique involves simply sitting and observing what rises in the mind and body without judgment. To enter this state, one must "stay out of the picture" of mental activity, serving purely as the witness.

The central goal of Buddhism is the enlightenment experience (Bodhi), which means "to wake, to become aware of." This awakening is a shift from a life of relativity and conditioning to an unconditioned life defined by non-attachment, non-discrimination, and non-ego.

Enlightenment is a personal experience. Value your own experiences and exert yourself. From the sutras: "By oneself is one purified."

The story of Gautama's path to becoming the Buddha.

The meanings of the term Dhamma (or Dharma), which is linked to Pada (the path). Dhamma means: Ultimate Reality. Pada is the path to this ultimate truth.

We need to drop conceptual thinking. Like a seed: the outer seed rots away to leave the essence from which the entire tree grows, The ego and thoughts must disintegrate to reveal the truth within.

Ultimately, the goal is to find the "space before the thought." Or the state of "no mind."

July 26, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains the story of Dogen Zenji, the founder of the Soto Zen school in Japan. One master says, “Not knowing is most intimate.”

Dogen’s question: if we are already Buddha nature — if enlightenment is our essence — then why do we need to seek it?

When Dogen returned to Japan, he founded the Soto school and taught Shikantaza — just sitting. This practice, Lola explains, is single-minded meditation without striving or grasping — simply allowing truth to reveal itself.

Meditation, explains Lola, is about resting in awareness, with nothing held back. The nature of mind. It’s both the source of our bondage and the key to our liberation. We must move beyond the “content” of the mind — our thoughts, dreams, and desires — to see mind itself, the clear space in which everything appears.

No-mind is not the absence of awareness but awareness without clutter. It is the crystal-clear state when the activity of thinking subsides.

We need to observe carefully: subject and object, thinker and thought, self and world. As one sees how all phenomena are like dreams, the sense of self begins to dissolve. Awakening brings clarity and wonder — colors seem brighter, the world more alive, even rocks appear to breathe.

Lola warns that the ego can cling to enlightenment experiences. The final task, she says, is to “let go of the remedy” — to release attachment to spiritual methods once they’ve served their purpose. Like the five men carrying a boat instead of realizing they’ve already crossed the river.

The teachings from Rinzai Zen are about the four positions in the relationship between ego and True Self, host and guest, questioner and answerer.

Enlightenment isn’t somewhere else to reach. It’s here, now, in the clear seeing that truth is.

July 5, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, tells a parable about a powerful Chinese prime minister, who was a devoted Zen student. When the minister asked his master, "how does Zen explain egotism?" the master insulted him, calling him a "numbskull". As the minister's face filled with anger and hurt feelings, the master smiled and said, "Your Excellency, this is ego".

Lola explains that this ego is our very basic problem. Paradoxically, we need It presents we need the ego to function in the world, yet it is also our biggest stumbling block to discovering our true identity.

Most people, she says, are so caught up in this pseudo self that they don't even know how to begin looking for the True Self. She explains that the rules of Zen practice, such as the sesshin, are designed to force practitioners to observe oneself and one’s reactions.

Lola explains how the formation of the ego begins in infancy. A child, Lola says, is born like a tabula rasa or "clean slate." Everything—food, love, comfort—comes from out there. The sense of me is formed later, in contrast to “other". This "me" is a "reflected awareness". It is a reflective center built entirely from the opinions of others, starting with the mother. If the mother smiles and appreciates the child, the child feels valuable, and this positive reflection builds the ego . Conversely, if the mother ignores the child, the child feels worthless and rejected, which builds an "ill ego."

This ego is necessary. The True Self can only be known by passing through this ego. The path is to first know "other," then "me" (the reflection), and finally to see that reflection as the illusion it is.

As the child becomes an adult, the search for the true self begins, but it's often misguided. People look to religion, but with nearly 400 sects, they usually just pick one that reinforces what one already thinks—which reinforces the ego.

The great religious traditions all aim to show one, universal truth shared by great figures like Buddha and Jesus. The smaller sects tend to get lost in trappings.

This societal atmosphere we develop in helps form the ego. Lola explains there are two centers in each of us. The first is the acquired center, given to us by society and shaped by others. This is not direct experience. The second is the true center, which we are born with and is given by existence; this is direct experience . To glimpse the true center, the ego must be overcome.

Lola discusses a concept of "masks of the universe” from physicist Edward Harrison. Including, historically, the magic era, the mythic era, etc. (While this is after Lola’s time, it reminds me of a more primitive structure that scholar Ken Wilber later provides us more comprehensively).

Most of us are trapped in our own minds, which are full of intellectual nonsense and sentiments that make us miserable.

One way out, Lola concludes, is the Zen path, which requires persistent observation: one must really observe" oneself in action to see the source of one’s misery. Second is re-evaluating our values.

The goal is to reach a state of "just so." With values that are free from ego.

The parable about the Zen master Joshu and a stone bridge.

Jun 28, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, argues that most people waste their lives playing superficial games and are deceived by their own minds. They fail to engage in the urgent, life and death work of knowing themselves. The pursuit of money, power, prestige, and reputation are hollow endeavors, like waves on an ocean.

Lola draws parallels between Zen practice and the Socratic method.

Many of us meditate for a short period only to ignore one’s inner awareness for the other 23 hours of the day.

Lola describes Greek philosopher Socrates as a figure who masterfully employed a method of inquiry similar to that of Zen. Socratic questioning, like the Koan, was a tool to penetrate the world of appearances and challenge ingrained opinions. This method, like Zen, is not about adding new beliefs but about drawing out the truth that is already within.

Central to both the Socrates and Zen is in admitting ignorance. Plato depicted Socrates as a man whose wisdom lay in recognizing his own ignorance.

Lola parallels this with the Zen master Bodhidharma, who, when asked by an emperor who he was, famously replied, "I don't know". This "unknowing" is a powerful spiritual state that moves beyond concepts, opening a space for true, transformative knowing to emerge.

Ideas by themselves, even great spiritual ideas, do not raise the level of a human life. Without action by us, ideas have no real transforming power.

Jun 21, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts the story of master Joshu who offers cups of tea to the various monks, illustrating the idea of how distinction keeps us from seeing the world as it is. When he offers the same tea to newcomers and long-time members alike, the manager asks why. And Joshu has a shouting response. Why?

Our scientific world breaks the world into bits, opreating within a framework of complexity and duality because seeing the simplicity of the whole is so difficult for us to grasp.

Zen teaches us the value of non-discrimination—the art of seeing things as they are, without interpreting or naming. Lola illustrates this with a personal anecdote about a wedding party where she presided—and the which they hoped would symbolize the couple’s eternal love. But the candle kept blowing out.

A tool for achieving this mental shift is the koan, and how it is not an intellectual puzzle to be solved. Rather, it is a device intended to exhaust the rational mind. The student should approach a koan" employing great faith, great resolution, and a great spirit of inquiry.”

The weakness of this duality-approach becomes clear when we look at many try to understand the notion of God. In doing so, many religions create the Devil to complement the notion of God.

The importance of awareness and alertness, and the meaning of the Japanese Tea Ceremony.

We must pass through the obstacle of our own discriminating minds to walk freely in the universe.

May 31, 1987