『Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers』のカバーアート

Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

著者： talkingtoteens.com
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 Parent-teen researcher Andy Earle talks with various experts about the art and science of parenting teenagers. Find more at www.talkingtoteens.comAll rights reserved アート
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  • Ep 342: Hot vs. Cold Communication Explained

    Ep 342: Hot vs. Cold Communication Explained
    2025/07/13
    Kenneth Ginsburg, author of Lighthouse Parenting, explains how parents can build lasting bonds with teens by balancing structure, trust, and unconditional love, and shares practical communication strategies.Full Show NotesWe often hear that teens thrive best when they feel deeply understood, loved without judgment, and gently guided rather than controlled. But this balance is hard to strike—especially as teens push away, test boundaries, and become more independent. Too much freedom feels unsafe, yet too much vigilance breeds rebellion. How can we stay close, set boundaries, and respect teens' autonomy, all at the same time?The secret might lie in what Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg calls “lighthouse parenting". Instead of hovering anxiously like a helicopter, micromanaging like a lawnmower, or retreating entirely, a lighthouse parent provides steady guidance from the shoreline. They trust teens to navigate life's waves yet remain watchful, reliable, and ready to help when needed. Done right, this blend of love, boundaries, and respect leads to children who flourish not just during adolescence, but also maintain a strong, loving connection with parents throughout adulthood.Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg is a leading pediatrician, adolescent health specialist, and author of numerous influential books, including his latest, Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child with Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond. Through decades of research and practical experience working with adolescents and families, Ken has identified simple yet powerful ways parents can connect with teens while also helping them cultivate strength, compassion, and resilience.In this episode, Ken shares the key ingredients of lighthouse parenting and how to implement them practically, starting today. From smarter ways to praise and discipline, to addressing judgment and communicating more calmly, you’ll learn actionable insights you can put into practice immediately.The Lighthouse Approach to ParentingWe start our conversation by unpacking what lighthouse parenting actually means—and why it works. Ken explains that decades of research identify balanced parenting as the gold standard: consistent boundaries combined with genuine warmth and flexibility. The challenge has always been how to achieve this balance in real daily interactions.The lighthouse metaphor brings clarity to that balancing act. A lighthouse is stable and dependable. Instead of running out to rescue every time the waters get rough, it provides a steady beam, trusting the sailor to learn how to navigate. Likewise, lighthouse parents deeply love their child and provide consistent boundaries, but also trust teens to handle challenges, make mistakes, and learn from them. This fosters competence, confidence, and lasting closeness.Making Communication Effective, Not Just EmotionalKen reveals how many conversations go awry because we mistakenly use what he calls “hot communication"—reactive, emotionally-charged messages filled with judgment or exaggerated empathy. Hot communication sets off teens’ emotional brains and blocks logical thinking. On the other hand, "cold communication,” which Ken says is actually warm, calm, and emotionally soothing, allows teens to feel safe enough to open up and engage productively.In the episode, Ken offers practical scripts for communicating in a cooler, more effective way and avoiding judgment. He shares how even subtle judgments (criticizing neighbors or yelling at the TV) make teens less likely to open up about sensitive topics. He also discusses the dangers of praising only achievements, inadvertently signaling conditional love, and describes ways to praise kids that reinforce unconditional love and openness.Protecting By Preparing, Not HoveringOverprotective, hovering parenting is tempting when we desperately want to keep teens safe. But Ken makes a compelling argument that true protection comes from preparation, not control. Teens who haven't practiced decision-making, conflict-resolution, or recovering from failure at home often make mistakes outside the safety of the family when stakes are higher.Through reminders and reflection exercises, Ken shows how parents can dilute their helicopter tendencies by asking key questions about what protection actually means for lifelong success. Instead of rescuing teens from every difficulty, lighthouse parents allow adolescents space to solve problems, while maintaining protective guardrails, setting the stage for healthier independence and interdependence.Fostering Interdependence and Strong CharacterStrong families rely on mutual interdependence, yet modern society too frequently emphasizes independence and self-reliance, damaging teen-parent bonds and emotional wellbeing. Ken passionately argues we need to raise young people who not only stand strong but also know how to lean into lasting family support systems when needed.As teens mature into adulthood, Ken believes that intentionally nurturing key ...
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    26 分
  • Ep 341: Launching Your Teen into Adulthood

    Ep 341: Launching Your Teen into Adulthood
    2025/06/16
    Robert Finlay, author of Hey Dad, shares essential strategies on how parents can equip teens with crucial adulting skills, covering money management, networking, handling emergencies, and building independence.Full Show NotesDo your teens sometimes shock you with questions you assumed they already knew the answer to? Maybe they call in the middle of the night wondering how to fill gas in their car or whether they can use the mysterious "green gas." These “Hey Dad” (or "Hey Mom") calls are more than just amusing anecdotes—they highlight a gap we're all trying to fill as parents: how do we ensure our teenagers really understand the requirements of adulting before they leave the nest?Most parents worry whether they have properly prepared their kids for adulthood, for those surprising (and inevitable!) real-world circumstances. But with teens constantly occupied by schoolwork, sports, friends, and the digital world, how can we efficiently—and effectively—pass along the essential skills needed to confidently step into adulthood?Our guest this week, Rob Finlay, found himself pondering the same question after repeated "Hey Dad" calls from his four kids. Inspired by these moments—and a particularly memorable call from his daughter asking about gas options—Rob set out to gather the necessary knowledge teens needed. After collecting advice and insight from over 30 experts ranging from finance executives to medical specialists and seasoned first responders, Rob compiled Hey Dad: Everything You Should Have Learned About Life But Didn’t, a hands-on guide to navigating early adulthood.In our conversation, Rob shares practical tips and hilarious stories to help parents bridge life-skill gaps with their teens. We discuss how to approach money management, prepare kids for career uncertainties, teach networking fundamentals and handle emergencies without panic, and ultimately shift those seemingly trivial late-night phone calls into moments that reflect growth and independence.The Power (and Peril) of Teen MoneyMany parents know the frustration of seeing their teen disregard financial advice, only to later scramble when reality hits. Rob stresses that simply "lecturing" teens about finances rarely sticks—instead, he recommends leveraging conversations about actual real-world consequences. Rob illustrates how introducing basic concepts with compelling scenarios can make money feel relevant to teens. Whether exploring the benefits of good credit scores or the hidden costs of overdrafts, making finances meaningful prepares teens better than abstract and dry instructions ever could.Rob also discusses the power of "compounding" beyond just a financial context, underscoring how even small, consistent actions build substantial results over time—not just in savings, but also in relationships, networking, and personal habits.Networking for Young AdultsEver heard your teen wishfully mention becoming a digital influencer or shrug off job opportunities because it doesn't align with their unclear plan for the future? Rob emphasizes the reality that connections matter profoundly when seeking employment opportunities. He encourages parents to expose teens to situations outside their peer groups and comfort zones—from attending family business dinners to encouraging brief informational interviews with professionals in fields of interest.Rob reminds us that teens are more respected and supported by adults than they realize. Teaching teens to leverage LinkedIn or encouraging them to reach out for career advice fosters self-confidence, creates diverse connections, and transforms the job market from a daunting challenge to a network-driven opportunity."Real World" Readiness and Handling EmergenciesEvery parent dreads the thought that their teen will one day encounter an emergency situation. But as Rob shares, there are essential skills every young adult should know, from handling first-aid emergencies all the way through troubleshooting car issues when stranded late at night.Incorporating expert insights from professional first responders, Rob advises parents on walking teens through emergency preparedness so they can remain calm and in control when it matters the most. After all, adulting skills also go beyond financial independence—they mean knowing how to stay calm when things inevitably don't go as planned.Embracing the JourneyAbove all, Rob emphasizes preparing teens not just for immediate independence but for flexible, resilient, lifelong growth. He illustrates how important it is for teens to accept uncertainty and potential failure not as setbacks, but as essential parts of the journey. By modeling and teaching these attitudes, Rob believes we can elevate those unforgettable phone calls from anxious dependency into mature, genuine moments of bonding and learning.In The Episode…Rob’s insights offer practical solutions to parents seeking to empower their teens for real-world readiness. In addition to these...
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    21 分
  • Ep 340: Why Teens Need You to Listen Differently

    Ep 340: Why Teens Need You to Listen Differently
    2025/06/02
    Christine Miles, author of What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?, teaches us how transformational listening can deepen connections with teenagers by hearing what's unsaid, asking the right questions, and creating life-changing conversations.Full Show NotesWe all think of ourselves as pretty good listeners, right? But consider this: 96% of us claim good listening skills, yet only 2% have ever had formal training in how to listen. As parents, teachers, or mentors of teenagers, we spend so much energy worrying about what we say in conversations—we want to give advice, teach life lessons, and help teens make the right decisions. But the truth is, we often completely overlook the real key to meaningful communication: our ability to listen deeply.Most of our listening approaches barely scratch the surface and simply skim the basic facts of a situation. However, teens rarely communicate straight to the heart of what’s truly bothering them. A surface complaint or confrontation can disguise deeper emotional struggles. How can we move beyond mundane conversation and create more meaningful connections with the young people in our lives?Our guest Christine Miles, author of What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?, is a renowned listening expert and speaker, who has spent her life empowering people to tap into what she calls “transformational listening.” Christine’s groundbreaking work has led her to teach listening workshops nationwide, helping families, educators, and corporate teams unlock deeper understanding, resolve problems, and build authentic connections through the power of listening better.In this thoughtful and eye-opening episode, Christine shares powerful insights from her personal story and her professional expertise to demonstrate exactly why listening is so crucial, and how developing listening skills will profoundly affect all aspects of our relationships with teens.Why Teens Need Transformational ListeningChristine introduces the idea of transformational listening, which goes beyond empathy and allows us to truly hear not only the words teens speak but also their underlying and often unspoken feelings. Transformational listening helps us understand each teenager's unique experience. Christine explains how listening provides teens a safe space to truly open up by guiding them to reveal parts of their story they may not even be aware of themselves.One major reason parents and teens experience poor communication is because teens rarely start at the beginning when they share their story. According to Christine, we usually get dropped right in the middle of a teenager’s internal narrative, causing misunderstanding or confusion. Parents often mistakenly assume that teens don’t want to talk or be open. Christine teaches us how to navigate conversations strategically to capture the whole story and not just surface details.How to Stop Getting in Your Own WayMost of us unconsciously interfere with our own listening ability, making typical mistakes like asking too many questions or imposing assumptions onto teens’ stories. Christine helps us recognize and prevent these conversational pitfalls by sharing simple but incredibly effective techniques she calls the Listening Compass. We'll learn a small but powerful set of open-ended questions that invite teenagers to dive deeper without feeling interrogated or misunderstood.Christine also explains how to notice important non-verbal listening cues by paying attention to what teens aren't saying. Mastering this technique helps teens feel truly understood, even when they're struggling to articulate what's actually bothering them, allowing us to support or steer the conversation positively without forcing direct solutions on them prematurely.Discovering Your Teen’s True StoryChristine emphasizes the incredible power of finding the "tipping point"—the moment in stories or conflicts when a decision or realization occurs and everything shifts. Often teenagers present us with a seemingly minor problem (like shoes or school struggles), but beneath the surface lies a complex mix of emotions or concerns teens don't even consciously realize. By engaging in transformational listening, parents can genuinely empower teens, helping them discover and navigate their emotional challenges and even reach deeper insight about their own decisions.Christine shares impactful stories and case examples, illustrating how parents and mentors using these listening practices earned trust and ultimately became part of life-changing turning points simply by listening in a new way.Taking Listening to Real LifeThe beauty of Christine's approach is that the tools she teaches can be practiced right away, leading to rapid and transformative results in relationships with teenagers. Christine shares moving real-life examples—not just from parenting, but from workplaces and friendships—where transformational listening has allowed meaningful conversations to flourish, deeper trust ...
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    20 分
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