What if the person you love most thrives on making you small? We go straight into the lived realities of narcissistic parents, partners, and friends—how they isolate, control, and turn you into “supply”—and what it takes to break free. We start with the facts, including DSM-5 prevalence estimates and why real-world numbers may be higher, then move into raw personal stories: body shaming in public, relentless phone calls, stalking, and that gnawing guilt that lingers long after you set a boundary.

Therapy becomes a lifeline. You’ll hear how a simple notebook exercise—documenting every small kindness—rewired a brain trained to remember only pain. We talk about gray rock in clear, practical terms: when it helps, why it can trigger blowback, and how to pair it with safety planning. We also unpack covert versus overt narcissism. Not every narcissist is loud; some hide behind fragility, passive-aggressive compliments, and constant blame-shifting. The result is the same: you become smaller, more apologetic, and less yourself.

We challenge the “family first” script and offer a different compass: peace over performative loyalty. When someone targets your kids or uses religion, illness, or guilt as a leash, it’s time to set limits. Expect escalation; prepare with allies, documentation, and if needed, legal options. Along the way we name the tactics—gaslighting, projection, supply—so you can spot them early. We also explore where hope might come from, from CBT to new modalities, without pretending there’s a cure for NPD today.

If you’re navigating narcissistic dynamics, you’re not alone. Press play for language, tools, and courage to protect your mind, rebuild your worth, and choose a life that feels safe and wide open again. If this conversation resonated, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited -- the book referenced by Etty in this episode.

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