Summer Sparks: The Art of Loving Leadership in Hard Moments

Hosts: Simon Phillips & Renée Smith discussing their conversation with Chris Conley

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Can you really let someone go with love? And how do you create a culture where people tell you the truth?

Simon and Renée dive into insights from Chris Conley, founder of Abundant Professional and former interim CEO of the Metropolitan Planning Council of Chicago, exploring two of leadership's toughest challenges.

Letting People Go with Love

Chris reframes the entire conversation: "I think about it as a person in a context that's not working. It's the situation that's not working." Instead of demonizing the employee ("they're not good enough"), he focuses on fit and context.

His approach? Build genuine relationships first - know about their granddaughter, their upcoming trip. When the difficult conversation comes, it's rooted in care: "You're an incredibly talented person, but this isn't the right place for those talents."

The result? His departing senior leader asked in amazement: "You would help me find a new role?" Because love doesn't end when employment does.

The GC Index Revelation

Simon shares a powerful example: A university team was performance-managing someone out of an admin role. But their GC Index revealed they were an "off the scale playmaker" - perfect for customer-facing work. One context change transformed a "poor performer" into a potential star.

The lesson? Good people in wrong contexts look like poor performers.

The Feedback Goldmine

Chris discovered something remarkable: When he responded to ALL feedback - criticism included - with "Great! Awesome! Thank you!" participation skyrocketed. His HR leader noticed: "No matter what anyone says, you're genuinely encouraging."

As Chris puts it: "If we're super dysfunctional and nobody's saying it, then you're just comfortably dysfunctional."

The E + R = O Formula

Simon's favorite coaching equation: Event + Response = Outcome. Want more feedback? Control your response. Be receptive, open, encouraging - and watch high-performing teams emerge.

The Thank You Challenge

Renée emphasizes priming the pump: Tell your team upfront that you want honest feedback. When they give it, your first words should be sincere thanks: "I know that might have been hard to share. You did the right thing."

Remember: You might be the first leader who's ever asked for their opinion.

Your Weekly Challenge

Practice saying "thank you" generously this week. And if you struggle accepting praise? Just say "thank you" instead of deflecting.

Bonus level: Try Peter Block's phrase - "Thank you, I like hearing that."

The Bottom Line

Love in leadership means seeing people as whole humans, not just their current performance. It's about creating contexts where people thrive and building cultures where truth-telling is celebrated.

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Connect with the Guest and the Hosts:

Chris Conley - LinkedIn Profile

Renée Smith - LinkedIn Profile

Simon Phillips - LinkedIn Profile

All Music composed by Adam Phillips

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