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In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common—and most misunderstood—pieces of advice given to submissives: “Know your wants and needs.” But what does that really mean, and how do you figure out the difference? You’ll learn how to identify your core needs, why honoring them is essential to a healthy D/s relationship, and what happens when you settle for less than what truly fulfills you.

We’ll also explore common submissive-specific needs, how to communicate them, and how to check in with yourself (and your partner) as those needs evolve. Whether you're new to submission or deepening your dynamic, this episode will help you reflect, realign, and reclaim your right to have your needs met.

📝 Topics covered:

• The difference between wants and need
• Why needs matter more than you think
• How unmet needs impact submission and mental health
• Needs specific to D/s and power exchange
• Why settling is harmful (even if the dynamic feels “good enough”)
• Tools for identifying and ranking your needs
• Reflection prompts and next steps

Read the full version on Submissive Guide

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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This episode challenges the myth of the “perfect submissive” and explores how chasing flawlessness can lead to burnout, self-doubt, and disconnection. Instead of striving for an impossible ideal, submissives are encouraged to embrace authenticity, growth, and the beauty of their unique journey. Real submission isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present, vulnerable, and enough just as you are.

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

►Site: http://www.submissiveguide.com
►Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/subguide
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►Patreon: https://patreon.com/subguide
►Discord: http://subgui.de/chat

Check Out My Books!
►https://subgui.de/store

Like the show? Let us know! Comments, suggestions are open.

Using your safeword is never something to be afraid of. While it may sometimes mean stopping the scene, it also prevents you from going to places you’re not ready to explore. Yet, guilt or self-disappointment can make using a safeword feel like a failure for many. Fortunately, there are ways to address the guilt, disappointment, or fear around using or not using your safeword when it truly matters.

Thoughts to Ponder

1. What is your opinion about safewords? What value do they have in a relationship?
2. If you have withheld a safeword in the past, why did you do it? What were you trying to gain by doing so?
3. What other issues arise from using your safeword?

Interesting Links

• Things You Need to Know: Why Safewords Are Not Safe
• Some Thoughts About Safewords

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

►Site: http://www.submissiveguide.com
►Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/subguide
►Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/subguide
►FetLife: http://fetlife.submissiveguide.com
►YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/subguide
►Patreon: https://patreon.com/subguide
►Discord: http://subgui.de/chat

Check Out My Books!
►https://subgui.de/store