In this conversation, Molly McGill shares her journey of overcoming a toxic relationship marked by codependency and narcissistic abuse with host Michele Nelson. She discusses the importance of recognizing self-worth, the dangers of staying in abusive situations, and the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist.

The conversation delves into the cycle of abuse, including love bombing and gaslighting, and emphasizes the need for support and self-forgiveness in the healing process.

This conversation delves into the experiences of individuals who have faced narcissistic relationships, exploring themes of objectification, childhood trauma, psychological entrapment, and the cycle of codependency.

The speakers share personal stories of emotional manipulation, the struggle for autonomy, and the health consequences of living in such toxic environments.

They emphasize the importance of education and support for those still trapped in similar situations.

End Notes and Research:

Molly’s first husband bullied and belittled her. She figured this out, but she struggled to leave.

She left him three times – and came back twice -- before she had the will, the clarity, and the courage to leave for good. She says it’s because she was in a codependent relationship– unable to escape. She thought, if she just loved him enough, it would get better.

The term “codependence” was coined years ago mostly to explain the dynamics of relationships involving addiction.

The original definition focused on the way in which the non-addicted partner finds purpose and self-worth in taking care of the addicted partner. By keeping the addict’s life from falling apart – the codependent partner can make the addiction worse.

Over time, counselors started to apply the term to all kinds of lopsided relationships. One partner is the giver. The other is the taker.

The experts have no medicine to treat codependence. They can’t identify it in a brain scan. No one has a magic bullet therapy. And you won’t find “codependence” in the Diagnostic and statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders.

So is it a mental health condition? – or just an unbalanced relationship?

The Mental Health America website suggests a list of signs to help you decide if you might be codependent:

1. You have an exaggerated sense of responsibility for others.

2. You confuse love and pity -and therefore have a need to rescue your partner.

3. You have a gnawing need for approval.

4. You feel a crippling sense of guilt when you assert yourself.

5. You fear being abandoned or alone.

Chapters:

00:00 The Objectification in Relationships

03:05 Childhood Trauma and Its Impact

05:59 The Struggle for Autonomy

09:05 Psychological Entrapment and Isolation

11:54 The Cycle of Codependency

14:59 Health Consequences of Codependency

17:56 The Gradual Descent into Abuse

19:17 Finding Self-Worth and Love

20:26 The Breaking Point: Recognizing Danger

22:43 The Aftermath of Leaving: Restraining Orders and Support

23:55 The Struggles of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

25:53 Understanding Gaslighting and Its Effects

28:49 The Cycle of Abuse: Love Bombing to Manipulation

32:42 Recognizing and Surviving Narcissistic Relationship

36:52 Forgiveness and Moving Forward

In this episode of the Strength Beyond Struggle podcast, host Michele Nelson speaks with Aeron Prosek, a queer man whoshares his experiences with discrimination.

They discuss the concept of lateral discrimination, the challenges faced by those whose identify is defined as “different”, and the importance of finding community and support. Aaron emphasizes the need for self-care and mental health awareness, highlighting the interconnectednessof physical and mental well-being.

Keywords

LGBTQ+, discrimination, mental health, aromantic, asexual, community, support, cisgender, privilege, resilience

Aeron faced a lot of challenges – queerness, autism, depression, BiPolar, and ADHD. But you know what hurt the worst? Discrimination - even by people he might have looked to for help.

Discrimination imposes a terrible burden. Decades of research shows that discrimination affects our physical and mental health.

According to research, experiencing discrimination significantly increased the risk you will suffer: Depression, Stress disorders, Anxiety, Physical illness, Alcoholism, Druguse, Eating disorders, Anger disorders, PTSD, Obesity, Diabetes, Heart disease, Even risky sexual behavior. This list from research published on the National Institutesof Health website.

Discrimination – the shame others impose on us and the shame we accept – even changes the brain.Animal studies showed that the lack of normal, positive interaction with others permanently affects the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine in the brain. Anda brain scan of people as they read an account about being discriminated against showed huge activity in the areas of the brain controlling emotion.

Some 70% of US citizens say they’ve experienced discrimination. For Asians, blacks and Hispanics – that mostly involved race. For women, that mostly often involved sexism. For white men, that mostly involved ageism. For Aeron – the discrimination involved being transgender. Perhaps that’s why people struggling with gender identity issues have twice the suicide rate as the general population.

Every culture stigmatizes the mentally ill in a way that makes everything worse, according to research published on the open journal Cureus. Many Asian cultures see mentalillness as a weakness, a failure of self-control that shames the family. Many African cultures attribute mental illness to a curse or possession by evil spirits. Arab cultures see it as a divine punishment. Latin American cultures see it as a sign of personal weakness and lack of will power. Here in the Western culture, we have embraced the disease model - but still see those with a mentally health condition - as dangerous. That’s why I admire Aeron for having the courage to speak up.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Discrimination in the LGBTQ+ Community

09:53 The Impact of Lateral Discrimination

19:39 Navigating Identity: Asexuality and Aromanticism

29:20 Finding Community and Support

34:11 Coping Strategies and Mental Health Awareness

In this episode of the Strength Beyond Struggle podcast, host Michele Nelson speaks with Jayden De La Rosa about herpersonal journey with anxiety and mental health challenges. Jayden shares her experiences with crippling anxiety, suicide ideation, and the impact of her diabetes diagnosis on her mental health. The conversation explores the importance of advocacy, the role of mental health facilities, and the power ofconnection and encouragement in overcoming struggles. Jayden's story serves as a beacon of hope for others facing similar challenges, emphasizing the need for understanding and support in mental health.

Keywords

mental health, anxiety, suicideideation, advocacy, NAMI, personal stories, support, resilience, youth mentalhealth, coping strategies

Takeaways

• Jayden's anxiety began in her early teens after being diagnosed with diabetes.
• Anxiety can lead to severe isolation and suicidal thoughts.
• Mental health challenges often stem from a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
• Advocacy and sharing personal stories can help others feel less alone.
• Connection and support from peers and family are crucial in overcoming mental health struggles.
• Jayden found strength in her love for family and friends during her darkest moments.
• Mental health facilities can vary in effectiveness; personal experiences differ widely.
• Group therapy provided Jayden with a sense of community and understanding.
• The importance of planting seeds of hope in others through encouragement.
• Anxiety is a serious condition that can have life-threatening consequences.

Sound Bites

• "I tried committing suicide."
• "I was only 17. I was a baby."

• "I planted the seed."

  Chapters

  00:00Introduction to Jayden's Journey

  02:51The Impact of Anxiety on Life

  05:33Turning Points and Moments of Crisis

  12:19Navigating Mental Health Facilities

  16:35Finding Connection and Support

  19:51Advocacy and Empowerment Through Storytelling

  22:16The Power of Connection and Hope

  26:26Understanding Anxiety: A Widespread Challenge

  29:26The Complexity of Anxiety Disorders

  31:23The Impact of Trauma and Genetics on Anxiety

  31:50Embracing Uniqueness and Individuality

  Jayden spoke for more than 40 million adults – and for abouta third of American teenagers.

  That’s because she had to find a way to live with cripplinganxiety –the most common mental health challenge in the nation.

  We’re still trying to figure out what causes normal stress,fear, and vigilance to spin out of control.

  But for about 20% of US adults and 32% of teens – theanxiety can become disabling.

  And they suffer a higher risk of suicide, according to theNational Institutes of Health.

  One recent National Health Survey concluded that 44% of theUS population say they suffer from anxiety.

  But another 13% who reported all the symptoms – don’t thinkthey’re anxious.

  Many people with an anxiety disorder also suffer frombipolar disorder, ADHD, sleep disorders, headaches, substance abuse, eating disorders, and irritable bowel syndrome.

  So, what causes this debilitating, pervasive, unrealistic fear?

  Well, genes have something to do with it. Anxiety often runsin families. Turns out, women are much more likely to suffer from an anxiety disorder than men.

  It’s also linked to childhood trauma, rape, domesticviolence, the death of a loved one or exposure to violence. Even a serious or chronic illness can play a role indeveloping anxiety.

  You can find summaries of all the research on our website, Strength Beyond Struggle.org.

  Anxiety that disables looks a lot like normal fear in thebrain. That's useful bu can get hijacked – by trauma,PTSD, child abuse – or even diabetes or depression. It wears a grove in your brain. Pretty soon, you can’t stop being afraid – even when it makes no sense.

  Fortunately, there are options. Anti-anxiety drugs – or antidepressents and therapy – work for many people.

  You just must want to change so you can live at peace inyour own brain.