In this conversation, Strength Beyond Struggle podcast host Michele Nelson discusses Jason Gillette’s journey through understanding masculinity and mental health, shaped by his challenging childhood and military experiences.

He emphasizes the importance of emotional expression, the impact of societal expectations on men, and the needfor accountability and empathy in redefining masculinity. Jason shares insights on fatherhood and how he aims to provide a different model for his children, contrasting with his own upbringing.

The discussion highlights the significance of therapy and personal growth in overcoming ingrained beliefs about masculinity and violence. What role does “masculinity” play in mental health? Is masculinity about violence, denial, and anger? Or is it about strength, grit, discipline, and purpose?

That’s a heavy question – with a complicated answer. The masculine norms demanded by society are a mixed blessing.

Studies published in places like the American Journal ofMen’s Health, the Lancet, and the American Psychological Association website offered some of the dismaying statistics on the toll of toxic masculinity in our society:

- Men commit 90% of the murders

-and comprise 77%of the victims.

- Men succeed at suicide at a rate 3.6 timeshigher than those for women.

- Men have much higher rates of drug addiction, injury, behavior problems, violence, aggression, and incarceration.-

Men are far more likely to have addictions to gambling and pornography.

In fact, toxic masculinity imposes a high cost on men. They die on average five years sooner than women. And are less likely than women to have close friendships.

For one thing, men face unrelenting pressure to be strong, dominant, and in control of their emotions – at all times. Perhaps that’s why although an estimated 9% of men suffer from major depression and anxiety – only about 4% will ever seek treatment.

Takeaways

• Men are statistically less likely to seek help for mental health issues.

• Childhood experiences significantly shape perceptions of masculinity.

• Violence is often seen as a primary expression of masculinity.

• Emotional expression is crucial for mental health and well-being.

• Therapy can provide new perspectives on masculinity and personal growth.

• Fatherhood offers an opportunity to redefine masculinity for the next generation.

• Accountability and empathy are essential in managing violent tendencies.

• Societal expectations can pressure men to suppress their emotions.

• Transitioning from military to civilian life can be challenging for veterans.

• Redefining masculinity involves letting go of harmful narratives.

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Masculinity and Mental Health

09:59. The Impact of Childhood Experiences onMasculinity

19:46. Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life

23:47 Fatherhood and Redefining Masculinity