Christmas is when stepfamily pressure peaks — and for many Stepmums, it’s when the “perfect blended family” myth hurts the most.

In this episode, I’m joined by Courtney, a stepmum in Australia navigating 50/50 care with two stepkids (14 and 12). Courtney shares a raw, honest account of what happened when the other household’s new partner became highly involved — and how panic, comparison, and control slowly escalated co-parenting tension, affected her relationship, and left her stuck in fight/flight.

This episode explores accountability without shame, emotional reactivity, and the shift from “What do they think of me?” to “What do I want my role to be?”

✨ This is our last episode of the year — we’ll be back in January.

What we cover

• The emotional toll of stepmum life (and why it surprises so many women)
• When a new stepparent “takes over” — and why it’s so triggering
• Fairness, resentment, and the “here we go again” spiral
• How co-parenting conflict leaks into the stepcouple relationship
• Fight/flight responses and nervous system overwhelm
• Letting go without feeling like you’re “losing”

Key takeaways for stepmums

• You’re not “too sensitive” — your stress response is information
• Trying to control the other household often increases exhaustion
• Kids’ silence can lead stepmums to overthink and over-function
• You can own missteps without living in self-blame
• Role clarity starts with your values, not others’ perceptions

Chapters / timestamps

00:00 – Intro + Christmas chat
01:46 – Courtney’s family setup
03:30 – “I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll”
06:10 – What changed when the other household had a baby
08:20 – The new stepdad’s involvement
11:10 – Loyalty binds + “you’re just Courtney”
13:48 – Wanting to matter (slowly)
15:25 – Panic, control, and the group chat
19:20 – Decisions made without consultation
21:58 – When it hit Courtney’s wellbeing
24:40 – Home as safe space
27:25 – Do the kids know?
30:34 – Partner conflict + “here we go again”
32:11 – Fight/flight/freeze
36:44 – “I wouldn’t force my role”
39:05 – Letting go of perception
44:02 – Closing reflections

Support mentioned (January)

Feeling reactive, exhausted, or stuck?

The Stepmum Reset Workshop – 23rd January
Small group, practical tools, calmer nervous system, clearer boundaries.
Just a few spots left.

1:1 coaching for stepmums
Couples coaching for stepcouples

www.stepmumspace.com

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If this episode helped, please follow or subscribe and leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it really helps other stepmums find this support.

SEO keywords

stepmum support, stepmom support, blended family, stepfamily podcast, co-parenting conflict, high conflict ex, loyalty binds, stepcouple arguments, stepmother burnout, emotional labour, nervous system regulation, Christmas stepfamily stress

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If you’re juggling a high-conflict ex, 50/50 schedules or loyalty binds, this one’s for you. Katie talks to Lauren, a Scottish stepmum who reconnected with her high-school love—now a dad of three with two exes—and built a calm, child-centred blended family through clear boundaries, parallel parenting and a truly united couple stance.

We cover: meeting kids at their pace, handling retaliation without taking the bait (haircuts, earrings & house rules), why a written agreement beats a verbal one, transitions in a 50/50 schedule, and keeping sibling connections strong across big age gaps. Lauren also shares choosing not to have biological children—and still feeling like a whole family.

Next steps: 1:1 coaching, the January Stepmum Reset Workshop, and downloadable tools at stepmumspace.com.

Timestamps:
00:03 Intro & themes
02:10 How the blended family began
07:40 Meeting each child at their pace
10:22 “You’re the boss of your own hair” (child agency)
16:18 Retaliation & staying out of the drama
20:18 What supportive partners actually do
25:53 Mediation + written agreement (game-changer)
31:18 Transitions without loyalty binds
32:47 Sibling dynamics (18/18/7)
35:44 Choosing not to have bio kids
37:45 Advice for struggling stepmums

Keywords: stepmum support, blended family, parallel parenting, high-conflict ex, custody agreement, 50/50 schedule, stepmum boundaries, mediation, withheld access, stepfamily transitions

Links/CTA:
• Book a free intro for 1:1 coaching • Join the January Stepmum Reset Workshop • Download tools for tricky moments → stepmumspace.com
Socials: @stepmumspace

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(Trigger warning: miscarriage, domestic violence)

What happens to a stepmum when the whole family system is in survival mode?
When there’s court, withheld contact, trauma, ASD needs, transition day meltdowns, and a partner trying to hold everything together with guilt-soaked hands?

In today’s episode, Jean (not her real name) shares her raw, complex and human journey on Stepmum Space.

Across this conversation we explore:

• What it’s like to fall in love with someone whose ex weaponises contact
• How ASD, trauma, and loyalty binds shape a child’s behaviour
• The emotional toll of being blamed for things that never happened
• Step-sibling dynamics when both partners bring a child into the relationship
• The guilt, resentment and relief stepmums rarely say out loud
• How to stay connected to your partner through the chaos
• Why stepmums often think “maybe they’d be better off without me” — and how to move past it
• When the ex blocks therapy: what it does to the child and the stepmum
• How to stay connected to your partner through chaos
• The surprising moments that helped rebuild trust, safety and calm
• What children really understand about conflict, loyalty binds, and transitions

Jean speaks openly about miscarriages, trauma responses, domestic abuse in the wider system, and the ripple effects that land in a stepmum’s lap—often silently, often without choice.

This episode gives you:

• Emotional reassurance
• Practical insights
• A deeper understanding of trauma behaviours
• A real-life story of survivable — and workable — blended family chaos
• Permission to feel what you’re feeling

🔥 If this episode hit a nerve… The January Stepmum Reset Workshop is for you.

If you’re listening and thinking:

• “This is my life.”
• “I’m exhausted from trying to keep the peace.”
• “I love my partner, but the system is breaking me.”
• “I want 2026 to feel different.”

Then the Stepmum Reset Workshop is the space you’ve been craving.The workshop is practical, psychologically grounded, and genuinely transformative. Spaces are limited.
Book at stepmumspace.com

💛 Connect with Stepmum Space

Instagram: @stepmumspace
TikTok: @stepmumspace
Podcast: Stepmum Space
Work with Katie: www.stepmumspace.com

🎧 If you found this episode helpful…

Please follow, rate, or leave a review. It helps more stepmums find this support—and you never know who needs to hear this today.

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High-conflict exes, clashing house rules and an ours baby — today’s episode goes deep into the reality of stepfamily life. If you’re a stepmum feeling overwhelmed, anxious or alone, this one will speak straight to you.

Katie talks with Jane (name changed), a stepmum navigating secrecy for safety, court cases, three stepchildren, and a new baby, all while trying to build a stable home anchored in values and routines. Jane shares how belonging grows slowly, how she built trust through small consistent cues (hair plaits, dinners together, practical help), and how she learned to hold boundaries without absorbing the emotion of hostile messages.

They explore loyalty binds, two-home rules, the pressure of a contact schedule that takes every weekend, and the emotional load of loving someone with a complicated history.

In this episode:

• Loving your partner and the past they carry
• Secrecy, safety and contact from a distance
• Gradual attachment to stepchildren
• Belonging cues (plaits, shared meals, helping)
• Clashing values across two homes
• Living by a custody schedule + protecting couple time
• Boundaries with a hostile ex
• Sharing hard truths with kids
• Welcoming an ours baby + forming new identity

Perfect for:
Stepmums in high-conflict situations • overwhelmed by instability • new stepmums • anyone struggling with boundaries, anxiety or slow-growing attachment.

The Stepmum Reset Workshop
Feel clearer, calmer and more in control.
👉 Book now: stepmumspace.com

Prefer self-paced? See all workbooks under All Products on the site.

Support the show

Book your place on The Stepmum Reset now: https://stepmumspace.com

Episode Summary

In this episode, Katie talks to Claire — an independent woman who fell deeply in love with her partner… and his three children. While Claire adores the kids, navigating the dynamic with their mum and the emotional load of stepfamily life has been far harder than she expected.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, out of control, or unsure where your boundaries should be, this conversation will make you feel truly seen.

In this episode, Katie and Claire explore:

• loving the kids but finding dynamics with their mum difficult
• biting your tongue more than anyone realises
• losing yourself while trying to hold everything together
• feeling like your life is shaped by other people’s decisions
• the emotional toll of being endlessly flexible
• why boundaries aren’t optional for stepmums
• how to reconnect with yourself when everything feels chaotic

A raw, validating conversation every stepmum will relate to.

Key Topics

• feeling out of control
• high-conflict or tense co-parenting dynamics
• silent emotional load
• boundaries when you’re not the biological parent
• resentment, guilt, overwhelm and burnout
• staying grounded and connected to yourself

The Stepmum Reset Workshop

If you’re thinking, “I can’t keep going like this,” The Stepmum Reset is for you.

This two-part workshop gives you the tools, language, boundaries and clarity to feel more in control.

Next dates:
26th November and 6th December
7:15–8:45pm UK Time
Live on Zoom
Small group, compassionate, safe

You’ll leave with:

• a personalised wellbeing and boundary plan
• tools that ease overwhelm
• clarity on what’s yours to hold — and what isn’t
• strategies for asking for what you need
• a community of women who truly get it

Book your place: https://stepmumspace.com

Or email: katie@stepmumspace.com

Perfect For

• overwhelmed stepmums
• women drained by the ex-partner dynamic
• stepmums struggling with boundaries
• high-conflict co-parenting situations
• those feeling anxious, invisible or resentful
• new stepmums needing validation and reassurance

Helpful Links

The Stepmum Reset: https://stepmumspace.com

Instagram: @stepmumspace
1:1 and Couples Coaching: https://stepmumspace.com/booking

Final Note

You are not alone.
You are not doing it wrong.
Your feelings are valid — and there is support that makes this feel lighter.

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Send us a text

If you’re searching for stepmum help, stepmum support, or a real conversation about stepmum struggles and stepmum problems, this episode will speak straight to your heart.

In this emotional conversation, Katie talks with Nicole, a mum of two and stepmum of one, about the heartbreak of trying to co-parent when her stepson’s mum refuses to communicate — not just with her, but with her husband too.

Nicole shares how she’s navigated protecting her “ours babies” from the pain of not seeing their brother, and what it’s been like being cast as the villain in her stepson’s mum’s story.

Together, Katie and Nicole unpack why stepdads are so often glorified while stepmums are blamed for doing either too much or too little — and how that emotional double standard plays out in everyday life.

This honest chat is full of empathy, real-world insight, and moments that remind you: you’re not alone in the complexity of stepfamily life.

🌿 Reset Workshop Invitation - Stepmum Re-Set workshop | Stepmum Space

If today’s episode has resonated with you and you’re feeling ready for a reset before Christmas, join Katie for her Reset Workshop — a two-evening online experience created especially for stepmums who want to:
✨ Reconnect with their values
✨ Bring more calm and balance into family life
✨ Communicate and hold boundaries without guilt
✨ Feel more confident and at peace in their role

It’s a supportive, understanding space to learn, reflect, and connect with other stepmums who truly get it.

👉 Visit Stepmum Re-Set workshop | Stepmum Space
for all the details, and to explore downloadable workbooks if you prefer to work privately at your own pace head to All Products | Stepmum Space

Follow Stepmum Space for weekly conversations, expert stepmum support, and stories that help you feel seen and understood.

New episodes every week.
Take care — and sending lots of love,
Katie x

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Send us a text

In this episode of Stepmum Space, we’re joined by Madison — a woman in her twenties who stepped into a relationship with an older man, three daughters, and two exes. Madison shares her honest journey of navigating stepfamily dynamics, building relationships with children close to her own age, and learning how to protect her peace.

We dive into:

• The emotional labour of “mum work” and how to avoid burnout
• Why it’s okay to find kids annoying — and what that really means
• How to recalibrate your role as a stepmum when things feel off
• The importance of maintaining boundaries with your partner, the children, and the exes
• What it looks like to choose yourself without guilt

This episode is a must-listen for anyone in a stepfamily, especially younger stepmums learning to balance love, responsibility, and self-respect.

Remember...

• Boundaries aren’t selfish — they’re essential.
• You don’t have to take on all the “mum work.”
• It’s okay to feel overwhelmed — and to step back when needed.
• Relationships with exes require clarity, not chaos.
• Your role can evolve — and that’s a sign of growth.

If this episode resonated with you, please hit follow, rate, and review wherever you listen — it helps Stepmum Space reach more incredible women navigating step family life.

We’re wrapping up Series 7, but we’ll be back soon with fresh stories and expert insights. Got a story to share? Reach out katie@stepmumspace.com or connect with us on Instagram/facebook/tiktok @stepmumspace.

Keywords:

Stepmum podcast, blended family boundaries, dating a man with kids, step-parenting advice, emotional labour in stepfamilies, young stepmum experience, navigating exes, parenting with partners, recalibrating stepmum role, maintaining boundaries, Stepmum Space podcast

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Send us a text

In this episode of Stepmum Space, Katie sits down with Tess — a woman living the complexities of stepfamily life from both sides. She’s a stepmum to three children, and her own child also has a stepmum, giving her a rare and deeply layered perspective.

Tess opens up about the emotional toll of trying to create the perfect blended family — the fairytale — while feeling unappreciated, rejected, and emotionally drained. From being the stricter household to hearing the constant echo of “My Mum Says…”, Tess shares what it’s like to give everything and still feel like it’s never enough.

This episode explores:

• The heartbreak of loving your partner but feeling rejected by his children
• The emotional weight of being the stricter house
• The pain of trying hard for your stepkids without recognition
• How to cope when your home feels dominated by talk of the biological mum
• Tess’s advice for staying grounded — including her mantra: “Find the funny” which reminds us that even in the hardest moments, humour can be a lifeline.

If you’re in the thick of it right now, this conversation is here to remind you: you’re not alone. You’re doing more than you know, and your efforts matter.

If Stepmum Space has ever helped you feel seen, heard, or understood, please consider rating or reviewing the podcast wherever you listen. Your support helps others discover the show and reminds them they’re not alone.

We’d love to hear from you. If you’d like to share your own experience, reach out via email katie@stepmumspace.com

New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe now so you never miss a moment of support, insight, and solidarity.

Keywords:

Stepmum podcast, Blended family struggles, Stepfamily dynamics, Stepmum emotional support, Biological mum tension, Feeling unappreciated as a stepmum,

Stepmum rejection, Stricter household parenting, Stepmum heartbreak, Coping with stepchildren, “My Mum Says” stepfamily, Stepmum vs bio mum, Loving your partner, rejected by his kids, Stepfamily fairytale myth, Stepmum advice UK, Stepmum space podcast, Step-parenting challenges, Stepmum mental health, Stepmum validation, Stepmum community support,

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