Stepmum life can feel heavy even when the relationships are good.
If you’re carrying guilt, questioning your feelings, or wondering why it still feels hard, this episode is for you.

One of the most confusing parts of stepfamily life is that things can be relatively stable — and still emotionally demanding. Many stepmums find themselves holding a lot of guilt, mental load, and self-doubt, especially when they care deeply and want the family to work.

In this episode of Stepmum Space, I’m joined by Jess, who became a stepmum at 19 and has now spent ten years navigating stepfamily and blended family dynamics. She speaks honestly about growing into the stepmother role over time; from being cautious in the early years, to taking on nursery runs, school runs, and day-to-day responsibility before she was even living with her partner.

We explore common stepmum struggles: the guilt of doing things without stepchildren, the pressure to feel grateful and cope better, and the quiet confusion of loving a stepchild deeply while knowing that the love feels different to the love you feel for your own children. Jess also reflects on parenting differences, particularly when dads parent from guilt, and how that can create imbalance and emotional strain in a blended family.

This is a grounded, validating conversation about the realities many stepmums carry silently (even years in). There’s no fixing, no judgement, and no pressure to feel differently. Just reassurance that struggling doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re responding to a complex family system.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why stepmum struggles can persist even when relationships are positive
• How guilt shows up around “missing out” and feeling you should cope better
• Why loving a stepchild deeply doesn’t always feel the same — and why that’s okay
• How dads parenting from guilt can affect stepfamily dynamics
• Why overthinking and emotional fatigue are common in blended families
• The relief that comes from understanding this as a system issue, not a personal failing

This episode is for you if you’re a stepmum who:

• Feels guilty for finding things hard when “nothing is technically wrong”
• Loves your stepchild but feels confused or ashamed about the love feeling different
• Notices parenting differences and feels the impact of dads parenting from guilt
• Is emotionally intelligent, reflective, and quietly exhausted by the mental load
• Wants reassurance that your feelings make sense within stepfamily dynamics

This episode speaks directly to the lived reality of stepmum struggles and blended family challenges, naming the emotional complexity without blaming or oversimplifying. It’s part of Stepmum Space’s wider work supporting stepmums with clarity, validation, and psychologically informed insight into stepfamily dynamics.

If this episode helped you feel a little more understood, you’re welcome to follow or subscribe to Stepmum Space so future conversations find you when you need them.
And if you know another stepmum who might recognise herself in this, sharing the episode can be a simple way to let her know she’s not alone.

Head to stepmumspace.com to book your free clarity call

Support the show