You can give everything to a stepfamily and still feel like the villain in your own home.

This is what stepmum burnout really looks like when dad won’t lead and the children turn on you.

What happens when you jump into stepfamily life with the best intentions… and four years later you’re emotionally exhausted, resented, and questioning whether you can keep doing this?

In this powerful conversation, Jane shares the reality of becoming the default parent in her blended family while having none of the authority, safety, or support that role requires. What began as helping her partner establish routines and boundaries for his children slowly turned into Jane carrying the emotional, practical, and mental load of parenting every other weekend — while being treated as the villain.

You’ll hear how stepmum burnout creeps in quietly: through bedtimes, shoes at the door, meal planning, managing behaviour, navigating an ex-partner’s interference, and trying to protect children who are clearly struggling emotionally but beyond her influence.

This episode explores the painful space many stepmums recognise:
doing everything out of care… and being resented for it.

We talk about disengaging without guilt, the danger of over-functioning, dad’s guilt-based parenting, loyalty binds in children, and why sometimes stepping back is the healthiest move for everyone.

If you’ve ever thought, “I’m giving so much and getting nothing back,” this episode will feel uncomfortably familiar — and deeply validating.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why stepmum burnout often comes from over-functioning, not under-caring
• How guilt-based parenting from dads leaves stepmums carrying the load
• The emotional toll of being cast as the villain for basic boundaries
• What healthy disengaging actually looks like in a stepfamily
• How loyalty binds show up as hostility towards stepmums
• Why protecting your own mental health is sometimes the most loving move
• The difference between caring for stepchildren and parenting them

This is for you if you’re a stepmum who…

• feels responsible for everything when the children are with you
• is exhausted from managing routines, meals, behaviour and emotions
• feels like the villain for asking for basic respect in your own home
• worries constantly about your stepchildren but has no real authority
• feels resentful, guilty, and burnt out all at the same time
• has a partner who says he “backs you” but doesn’t when it matters

If this conversation resonated, make sure you’re following Stepmum Space on Apple or Spotify so you don’t miss future episodes.
You can also explore more support, tools, and workshops for stepmums at Stepmum Space.

And if you know another stepmum who needs to hear this, share it with her today.

Head to stepmumspace.com to book your free clarity call

Support the show