Attention shapes everything — what we notice, how we feel, and who we become.

In this far-reaching conversation, Aliceanne and Ryan explore the attentional system — the inner mechanism that determines what we see and what we miss. They move from the everyday (“why am I mad at the mailbox?”) into the sacred: how attention, when trained, becomes a doorway to healing, intimacy, and awakening.

Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and spiritual tradition, they weave together stories of emotional hijacking, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the blind spots we inherit from childhood, and how awareness transforms pain into wisdom. From Jesus and the Good Samaritan to modern meditation and the science of self-regulation, this is an episode about learning to see again — with the mind, the heart, and the whole of our being.

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00:00 – Arrival: Welcome back to Remembering You — a pause for presence and breath.

00:36 – Anniversary Reflections: Recording on their wedding anniversary and grounding in gratitude.

01:25 – What Is Attention, Really?: The paradox of something ordinary and sacred; attention as the lens of perception.

02:44 – The Camera of Consciousness: How focus, aperture, and light mirror the way our mind works.

04:11 – A Simple Exercise in Seeing: The “find the green” practice — how attention filters reality.

05:17 – When Attention Gets Hijacked: Emotional storms, angry mailboxes, and the cascade of perception.

08:00 – Turning Toward Pain or Away: Distraction vs. awareness — learning to sit with discomfort or move with intention.

12:05 – Movement as Medicine: Walking, regulation, and how the body teaches the mind to move forward.

14:05 – The Ordinary Made Sacred: Seeing the sunset, the changing forest, and how presence changes everything.

20:00 – Why We Have an Attentional System: Introducing the psychology behind attention — and the needs that drive it.

21:19 – Maslow’s Hierarchy Revisited: Safety, belonging, esteem, meaning — how unmet needs pull our attention.

28:44 – The Systems of the Psyche: Attention, attachment, motivation — the interdependent systems of our inner world.

33:34 – The Story of the Friend Who Never Felt Thirst: A powerful story of physiological blind spots and learned disconnection.

39:00 – Seeing Through the Heart: Ryan reinterprets the Good Samaritan as a training in perception and compassion.

44:00 – Consider the Lilies: Attention as devotion — Jesus’s pointers as mindfulness teachings.

48:49 – Attention, Attachment, and the Heart–Mind Dance: How body, mind, and belonging intertwine — and why modern life pulls us apart.

53:00 – From Atonement to At-Onement: Ryan’s transformation of theology through love and attention.

56:03 – Infinite Doorways to the Divine: Aliceanne’s secular lens on transcendence — awe as a universal access point.

1:01:04 – Attention as Healing Practice: Meditation, psychedelics, and surrender as ways to train perception.

1:13:00 – Turning Toward Pain: The Practice of Sobriety: Aliceanne’s story of recovery and how attention becomes compassion.

1:22:40 – Control vs. Intimacy: Reframing control as resistance to intimacy — learning to be with what is.

1:24:33 – Being vs. Doing: Why surrender is harder than striving — and how “just watching the fish” became a spiritual lesson.

1:33:10 – Love as the Ground of Being: Ryan’s reflection on belonging, unworthiness, and returning to love.

1:37:00 – Attention as Openness: How attention matures from focusing to resting in awareness itself.

1:41:00 – Practical Tools for Training Attention: Reminders, self-checks, and small practices for building awareness muscles.

1:46:00 – Compassion as Gravity: Tracking emotions, apps, and patterns — the quiet discipline of presence.

1:49:00 – Closing Reflections: Resting into wholeness, intimacy, and the quiet act of remembering.