Join Heather & Antwan as therapist Heather shares the theory and impact of trauma on the brain and body. Then dive in as they discuss EMDR (one effective therapy to recover from trauma), from both the practitioner and the patient perspectives!

(Heather would also like to apologize for sounding so forceful and angry in the intro! Not sure what was going on there - I felt fine. LOL!)

Mentioned in this episode:

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

EMDRIA

Encouragement Corner:

"You gotta resurrect the deep pain within you and give it a place to live that's not within your body. Let it live in art. Let it live in writing. Let it live in music. Let it be devoured by building brighter connections. Your body is not a coffin for pain to be buried in. Put it somewhere else."
by ehimeora

This week's listening:

The Abyss by Dax

Want to learn more? Read Heather's book "A Thousand Paper Cuts: A Therapist, Her Narcissist, His Trap"

What is the greatest weapon to deflate a narc? A Grey Stone. While it isn't easy, it's simple and an in credibly effective tool when trying to disentangle from the narcissist in your life. Listen in as Antwan and Heather discuss Greystoning: what it is, how to do it, why it works!

Encouragement Corner:

"Don't allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence." - unknown

"Juliana Calm Down" by the Chicks.

Want to learn more? Read Heather's story and tips in her latest book, "A Thousand Paper Cuts: A Therapist, Her Narcissist, His Trap"

It's the final chapter of the Narc Playbook! This week we talk discard: what is it? when does it happen? what does it look like?

Mentioned in the episode:

"Manipulated" by H.G. Tudor

Encouragement Corner:

"I always thought there was something romantic about fighting for someone. About winning them back. Eventual happiness. But as I sit here with stones in my chest where hope used to lie, I have come to the realization that there is nothing lovely about having to continuously convince someone to love you." -S.L.

Song of the Week:
"Last Strike" by Polo G

Want to learn more? Read Heather's Story filled with information and experiences of narcissism:

"A Thousand Paper Cuts: A Therapist, Her Narcissist, His Trap"

"There are two sides to every story" "It takes two to tango" "Nothing is ever black and white"

These common colloquialisms are . . . well . . . common. But do they apply to abuse? ARE there actually two sides? Is a situation ever black and white?

We're going to emphatically say NO. What effect does it have on victims when they are told there are two sides to every story? How can we tell who is the victim and who is the narcissist? Listen in as Heather and Antwan share their thoughts about believing victims, sparked by a real world situation in which someone responded to Heather's book with "there are two sides to every story."

Encouragement Corner:

"The truth is simple until you try to explain it." -unknown

Song of the Week:

"Middle Fingers" by MISSIO

Want to learn more? Read Heather's Story filled with information and experiences of narcissism:

"A Thousand Paper Cuts: A Therapist, Her Narcissist, His Trap"

Ready for another chapter of the Narc Playbook? This week we reflect on many of the strategies they use to Devalue their victims. From gaslighting to physical threats, body language to lies, we're sharing their playbook so others can be better armed to defend themselves against these gross and abusive tactics.

Encouragement Corner:

"The sheep will spend its entire life fearing the wolf, only to be eaten by the shepherd." (African Proverb)

Song of the Week:
"To Be a Man (Mega Remix)" by Dax

References:

Confusion to Clarity by Helena Knowlton

"Learn to Recognize 26 Covert Abuse Tactics" by Helena Knowlton

Gaslight the movie

Want to learn more? Read Heather's Story filled with information and experiences of narcissism:

"A Thousand Paper Cuts: A Therapist, Her Narcissist, His Trap"

Heather's flying solo on this episode to talk more in depth about lovebombing. What are the strategies narc's use to reel you in and keep you on the hook? How can you tell the difference between typical early relationship romance and the narc lovebomb? Listen in as Heather deep dives into the shallow and often effective Lovebombing chapter of the Narc Playbook.

Encouragement Corner:

"Once you've been bamboozled by a narcissist, you'll be forced to view everyone as a narcissist until proven innocent." -unknown

Song of the Week - Gaslight by Snow Tha Product

Read more about lovebombing in Heather's newest book "A Thousand Paper Cuts: A Therapist, Her Narcissist, His Trap"

"Co"-Parenting with a narc just doesn't happen. Instead we faux co-parent. In this episode Heather & Antwan consider several of the factors that contribute to the challenges of faux co-parenting and provide some suggestions on ways to cope.

Encouragement Corner:

"Only those who truly care about you can hear your when you're quiet." -Unknown

For the Playlist:
"The Cave" by Mumford & Sons

Heather's favorite verse:
Make your siren's call
and sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
to live my life as it's meant to be.

It seems like a simple question with an easy answer, but in reality identifying abuse, especially covert abuse, can be extraordinarily difficult. Many people live with abuse for decades without knowing it.

In this episode, Antwan & Heather begin to discuss those inner nudgings and red flags that help someone know they deserve better.

To read more about how Heather recognized her own decades long abuse, check out her book, A Thousand Paper Cuts.

Encouragement Corner:

"Thieves don't break into an empty house." source unknown

Song - Must Be Nice by Lyfe Jennings