Is it okay for your partner to be friends with an ex — or is anxious attachment the one really asking the question?

In this episode of the Speak Honest Podcast, Jenn Noble sits down for a live, unscripted coaching call with her client Kaitlin, who came in wondering whether her partner should be allowed to stay friends with his ex. As the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear the real issue has little to do with the ex at all, and everything to do with hidden conversations, a canceled wedding, and Kaitlin's own anxious preoccupation with fixing what's wrong between them. Jenn walks Kaitlin through the difference between requests and boundaries, why an avoidant partner's fear of engulfment isn't the same as not loving someone, and how to stop outsourcing her security onto a man who can't give her what she needs. It's a raw, real look at what it actually takes to become the secure one in the relationship.

You might want to listen if:

• You're wondering if it's okay for your partner to stay friends with an ex
• You find yourself preoccupied with tracking your partner's every move
• You keep asking "why is he doing this" instead of "what do I want"
• You're dating or partnered with someone avoidant and don't understand the pullback
• You struggle to set boundaries without it turning into controlling his behavior

WORK WITH ME

• 🎯 Schedule your FREE 30-min Attachment Assessment with Jenn — see if the Fall 2026 Cohort is the right fit for you
• Ready Now? Join the Speak Honest Academy
• Apply for FREE Podcast Coaching with Jenn
• Ask your Coach a question — it might get featured on the show

LEARN MORE

• Grab your copy of the #1 best-selling book, Dance of Attachment
• Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more
• Watch Jenn's 🔴 TEDx Talk

STAY CONNECTED

• Join our FREE Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡
• Follow Jenn on Instagram: @speak_honest
• Enjoying the show? A review helps other women find us!

DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for acc...

What if the secret to a calm, steady relationship has nothing to do with never struggling at all?

In this episode of the Speak Honest Podcast, Jenn Noble closes out her month long series on the four Attachment Stances by finally landing on the one every other stance has been quietly pointing toward: Secure Attachment, which she calls the Smooth Waltz. Jenn breaks down why security isn't the absence of conflict or big feelings, but the presence of a nervous system that isn't constantly bracing for impact. Using a client story and research from Ed Tronick, Donald Winnicott, Stephen Porges, and Mary Main, she shows how secure attachment can be built later in life, even without a picture perfect childhood, through the kind of repair and direct expression she teaches inside the Academy.

You might want to listen if:

• You want to understand what secure attachment actually feels like in daily life
• You keep ending up with emotionally unavailable partners despite a stable upbringing
• You're curious whether adult attachment style can change through earned secure attachment
• You shut down or over apologize instead of expressing your needs directly
• You want to know how nervous system regulation affects conflict and connection in relationships

WORK WITH ME

• 🎯 Schedule your FREE 30-min Attachment Assessment with Jenn — see if the Fall 2026 Cohort is the right fit for you
• Ready Now? Join the Speak Honest Academy
• Apply for FREE Podcast Coaching with Jenn
• Ask your Coach a question — it might get featured on the show

LEARN MORE

• Grab your copy of the #1 best-selling book, Dance of Attachment
• Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more
• Watch Jenn's 🔴 TEDx Talk

STAY CONNECTED

• Join our FREE Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡
• Follow Jenn on Instagram: @speak_honest
• Enjoying the show? A review helps other women find us!

DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for acc...

Ever felt like you're two completely different people in love, desperately chasing someone one day and drafting the goodbye text the next?

In this episode of the Speak Honest Podcast, Jenn Noble breaks down Disorganized Attachment, the third stance in the August series on the four Attachment Stances. She calls it the Pendulum Swing Dance because it holds both the fear of abandonment and the fear of engulfment at the exact same time, which means there's no single direction to run in when the thing you want and the thing you're afraid of are the same thing. Jenn walks through the signature moves of this dance (the desperate pursuit, the sudden retreat, the emotional translator, relationship amnesia), shares a client story of a woman who lived this pattern through four breakups in two years, and explains where this wiring actually comes from and why a genuinely stable partner can feel more unsettling than familiar chaos.

You might want to listen if:

• You swing between wanting someone close and needing them gone within the same day
• You've been told you're "hot and cold" in relationships and don't fully understand why
• You feel like two different people depending on how close a relationship gets
• You push people away right before they can leave you
• You've ever felt more unsettled by a stable partner than by an unpredictable one

WORK WITH ME

• 🎯 Schedule your FREE 30-min Attachment Assessment with Jenn — see if the Fall 2026 Cohort is the right fit for you
• Ready Now? Join the Speak Honest Academy
• Apply for FREE Podcast Coaching with Jenn
• Ask your Coach a question — it might get featured on the show

LEARN MORE

• Grab your copy of the #1 best-selling book, Dance of Attachment
• Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more
• Watch Jenn's 🔴 TEDx Talk

STAY CONNECTED

• Join our FREE Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡
• Follow Jenn on Instagram: @speak_honest
• Enjoying the show? A review helps other women find us!

DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for acc...