I've never actually been alone. Not really. For 26 of my 39 years I've been in a relationship — and for the first time in my life there's nobody. Just me.

This is what learning to be alone for the first time actually looks like. And why I'm choosing it anyway.

If you're alone for the first time, or just learning how to be alone again — this one's for you.

Why does life feel so hard right now? In this episode of Soul Searching, we'll discuss the real reasons behind the mental health crisis, political exhaustion, and burnout that millions of Americans are experiencing — and why it's not all your fault.We're talking about learned helplessness, the wage gap, declining trust in government, and why the system we're living inside was designed to make you feel powerless. Because once you understand that, everything changes.

Are you Black enough? Have you been called an Oreo? Having your Blackness questioned because you don’t fit a certain mainstream idea of what it means to be Black is not something anyone should have to deal with. Regardless of how you dress, speak, what music you like, or anything else you do that makes you…you—your Black skin doesn’t ever come off. But who decides what being Black is supposed to look like anyway? And why do you think that idea is the way that it is? Who stands to benefit?

• 00:00 Intro
• 00:23 What Does Being ‘Black Enough’ Mean?
• 01:48 You ‘Talk White’ Code Switch
• 03:10 Diverse Culture or Black Culture?
• 03:55 Is This Racist?
• 04:22 Where is the Black Audience?
• 05:40 Who Decides What Blackness Is?
• 06:20 Have You Been Called an Oreo Before?
• 07:10 Black People Can in All Forms
• 07:30 Can Black People Do This?
• 08:35 American Culture is Black Culture
• 09:35 I’m Black and I’m Proud

I thought I started Soul Searching to help other people work through their mental health struggles. Turns out, I started it because I didn't know who I was when I wasn't being useful to someone else.

For 25 years, I've been in committed relationships. I know exactly who I am as a partner. But who am I when it's just me? When I'm not performing service for others? When I'm not proving my worth by being helpful?

I have no idea. And that's what Soul Searching is really about.

This episode is about realizing that there's a difference between loving to help people and only being allowed to exist if you're helping people. One is a value. The other is codependency. And I'm finally learning which one I've been living in.

If you're also trying to figure out who you are outside of what you do for others - you're not alone. Let's search together.

Most people think they're informed. They caught a headline. They know "something's going on." But they're seeing maybe 5% of what's actually happening—and they think that 5% IS the whole picture.

The system is designed to keep it that way. To keep you focused on the Super Bowl while democracy crumbles. To give you just enough information to feel aware, then immediately distract you with the next thing.

Since the new year, 8 people have been killed by federal agents in the streets. The Supreme Court carved out presidential immunity. 350 lawsuits have been filed for ignoring court orders. Congressional powers are being seized without approval.

And most people can't tell you any of this. Because they're in the Matrix.

This episode isn't about politics. It's about the uncomfortable truth that we're living through a historic moment—and most of us are choosing not to see it. Because waking up is terrifying. Because once you see it, you can't unsee it.

So the question is: Are you ready to unplug?

We all have that one story we keep telling ourselves. The one that sounds convincing enough that we almost believe it. "I'm fine with being single." "I don't care about the promotion." "This breakup was mutual."

But somewhere underneath, we know we're lying.

This episode is about the lies we construct to protect ourselves from uncomfortable truths - and what happens when we finally stop pretending. It's about the gap between what we claim and what we actually feel, and why closing that gap might be the most uncomfortable (and necessary) thing we can do.

If you've ever caught yourself saying "I'm fine" when you're absolutely not, this one's for you.

When someone leaves—breakup, divorce, friendship ending, death—we tell ourselves we're sad about the person. But what if you're actually mourning what you lost when they left? The version of yourself who felt deeply loved. The future you were building. The connection that made you feel safe. This episode is about figuring out what you're actually grieving and realizing they didn't take it with them. If you're stuck in loss and don't know why, this one's for you.

Ever feel like your own worst enemy? This episode dives into the pervasive nature of self criticism and the impossibly high standards we often set for ourselves. Let's explore how this mindset, often disguised as self-honesty, can actually hinder progress and prevent us from moving forward. Discover strategies to overcome perfectionism and quiet that inner critical voice to foster genuine self-growth.