Send us Fan Mail

Shunning can feel like a death without a funeral, especially when the people you called family decide you are suddenly invisible. I name how churches and high control religions weaponize belonging, why exclusion cuts so deep, and what it looks like to move toward people the way Jesus did.

• a real-world picture of shunning through Fred’s story of questioning, withdrawal, and rejection
• a clear definition of shunning in religious communities and why it becomes spiritual abuse
• the three forms I focus on: intentional shunning, informal social shunning, and self-shunning
• why exclusion can register like physical pain, drawing on research and trauma language survivors use
• how formal policies in groups like Scientology, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Amish communities intensify fear and control
• the mental health fallout: grief, shame, anxiety, PTSD-like symptoms, identity loss, and spiritual betrayal
• the theological trap of treating church departure as leaving God, plus dechurching data that challenges it
• the link between shunning and spiritual elitism, especially “one true remnant” thinking
• a direct challenge to choose proximity over purity and refuse to shun another person

If you know someone who might need to hear this conversation, feel free to share it with someone else.

"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

Send us Fan Mail

12 Tactics and Behaviors Used By Spiritual Abusers

1. Deception & Lies
2. Power
3. Control
4. Authority, Spiritual Authority & Distorted Loyalty
5. Indoctrination, Thought Suppression, Bounded Choice & Mind Control
6. Twisting The Scriptures
7. Spiritual Elitism & Spiritual Narcissism
8. Blame & Shame
9. Culture of Fear & Bullying
10. Exploitation, Humiliation & Dehumanization
11. Manipulation, Coercion, Spiritual Gaslighting & Bypassing
12. Silence, Secrecy & Isolation

**********************************************************************************

A single Bible verse can feel like comfort in one moment and coercion in the next. I sit with that tension and talk honestly about how scripture gets weaponized in spiritually abusive churches, high control religion, and faith systems that protect power at the expense of people. If you’ve ever been told that questioning is rebellion or that leaving a harmful community means leaving God, you’re not imagining the pressure. I name it, slow it down, and give you language for what happened.

I start with a crucial distinction: scripture itself is not inherently abusive, but interpretations can be. From circular reasoning that treats one person’s reading as absolute truth, to proof texting that rips a verse from its context, the result is often the same: shame, silence, and dependence. I look at the Bereans as a healthier model of faith, one that welcomes careful study, community testing, and humility rather than blind loyalty.

Then I lay out a practical framework built around five concepts that show up again and again in church abuse: authority, interpretation, discernment, suffering, and fear. I unpack exegesis versus eisegesis, how charisma and biblical certainty can function like control, and how spiritual gaslighting can make you doubt your own reality. I also talk about suffering being spiritualized, why lament matters for healing, and how fear-based leadership keeps people trapped.

If this resonates, listen, share it with someone who needs words for their experience.

"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."

Send us Fan Mail

Video of Pastor Don Williams exchange with law enforcement: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/P7J5N05Wu7s

Video of Pastor Don Williams speaking to his congregation:
WARNING (Heavy Emotion/Could be triggering)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILfKIGLBAL4&list=PPSV
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9uNPjeTv6Y

Video of Assoc. Pastor's Response:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnhh78sWa9o

Video of Teacher's Response:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUoiSmfnopE

"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."