Send us Fan Mail

Shunning can feel like a death without a funeral, especially when the people you called family decide you are suddenly invisible. I name how churches and high control religions weaponize belonging, why exclusion cuts so deep, and what it looks like to move toward people the way Jesus did.

• a real-world picture of shunning through Fred’s story of questioning, withdrawal, and rejection
• a clear definition of shunning in religious communities and why it becomes spiritual abuse
• the three forms I focus on: intentional shunning, informal social shunning, and self-shunning
• why exclusion can register like physical pain, drawing on research and trauma language survivors use
• how formal policies in groups like Scientology, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Amish communities intensify fear and control
• the mental health fallout: grief, shame, anxiety, PTSD-like symptoms, identity loss, and spiritual betrayal
• the theological trap of treating church departure as leaving God, plus dechurching data that challenges it
• the link between shunning and spiritual elitism, especially “one true remnant” thinking
• a direct challenge to choose proximity over purity and refuse to shun another person

If you know someone who might need to hear this conversation, feel free to share it with someone else.

"Be Human, Be Kind, Be Both."