*THIS IS AN AUDIO ONLY EPISODE* (Sorry - the camera died)

This episode is part of a new series where we answer your questions.

Today's question:

"I don’t think I have a ‘deep self.’ Everyone always says, ‘go inward,’ but I’m like… to what? It’s just noise in there. Is that normal? What do you do when there’s no essence to find?"

For this episode, Lora and Jeff dive into the experience of searching for a "deep self" and only finding noise. We explore what essence might really mean - and how the language around it doesn't always land for everyone. From neurodivergent perspectives to moments of flow and everyday presence, we unpack different way of experiencing the self without forcing it or shaming yourself for not feeling it right away.

We discuss:

• Why “go inward” isn’t always the most helpful cue

• How essence can show up in flow states, memory, and everyday presence

• The role of language and neurodivergence in shaping inner experience

• Why resistance deserves curiosity, not pressure

• Community, teachers, and patience as antidotes to pop-psychology shortcuts

Want to join the conversation?

If you've got something you'd like us to unpack - big or small - send it our way. Your curiosity fuels these conversations.

Connect with So What Who Cares

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mail.sowhatwhocares@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠So What Who Cares Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find Lora McCarville at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.loramccarville.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters
00:00 The Traveler and the Young Man’s Question
01:46 Listener Question: “No Deep Self?”
03:54 Essence, Noise, and Neurodivergent Perspectives
15:18 Finding Flow and Everyday Presence
28:45 When Resistance Shows Up
41:47 Teachers, Language, and Community
1:21:41 Closing Reflections by the Fire

#sowhatwhocares #sowhatwhocarespodcast #loramccarville #jeffkalasky #selfdiscovery #essence #mindfulness #selfawareness #mentalhealth #neurodivergent #healingjourney #growthmindset #resistance #presence #relationships #traumahealing #innerwork #compassion #community #podcastcommunity

This episode is part of a new series where we answer your questions.

Today's question:

"Lately I'm starting to think I'm doing 'too much caring.' Like i'm hyper-attuned to everyone else and constantly managing the emotional temperature in the room. Is that trauma? Just being nice? Can you talk about the weird place between codependency and compassion?"

We explore what it can look like when caring turns into caretaking, and how to stay grounded in your own emotional integrity. We discuss practical ways to witness others without absorbing their feelings, and how mindfulness and self-awareness can support healthier relationships.

We discuss:

• Being hyper-attuned can signal both strength and overwhelm.

• Compassion should not come at the cost of your own well-being.

• Codependency and compassion are not the same—support doesn’t mean self-erasure.

• Mindfulness and emotional neutrality can protect your energy.

• Emotional integrity helps you show up with presence, not burden.

What to join the conversation?

If you've got something you'd like us to unpack - big or small - send it our way. Your curiosity fuels these conversations.

Connect with So What Who Cares

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mail.sowhatwhocares@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠So What Who Cares Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find Lora McCarville at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.loramccarville.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters

00:00 The Traveler’s Arrival and the Village’s Curiosity

01:16 A Listener’s Question: Too Much Caring?

02:54 Navigating Codependency and Compassion

16:45 Finding Balance in Emotional Connections

#sowhatwhocares #sowhatwhocarespodcast #loramccarville #jeffkalasky #emotionalhealth #compassion #codependency #mindfulness #mentalhealth #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness #healingjourney #boundaries #selfgrowth #traumahealing #innerwork #relationships #empathy #selfcare #podcastcommunity #mindfulrelationships #emotionalwellness #growthmindset #healing

Building community through connection.

In this conversation, Lora and Jeff explore the multifaceted nature of community, emphasizing the importance of connection, respect, and open communication. We discuss how relationships are built on trust and the need for recognition within a community. The conversation also touches on the impact of isolation and loneliness in modern society, the significance of shared experiences, and the role of mindfulness in fostering community engagement. We highlight the necessity of collective care and the challenges of navigating differences in relationships.

We explore;

• Community is about connection, not just shared interests.
• Respect is given, trust is earned.
• Open communication strengthens relationships.
• Isolation and loneliness are mental health crises.
• We are meant to be in connection.
• Recognition is about being seen in community.
• Mindfulness is present moment awareness.
• Navigating differences is key to community.
• Community is built on care and affection.
• Difficult conversations build trust.

Connect with So What Who Cares

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mail.sowhatwhocares@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠So What Who Cares Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@sowhatwhocarespodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find Lora McCarville at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.loramccarville.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Community Building

01:48 The Importance of Community

03:55 Understanding Respect and Communication

09:14 Navigating Differences in Relationships

11:50 Shared Values vs. Shared Interests

16:10 The Role of Community in Mental Health

21:39 Isolation and Loneliness in Modern Society

26:25 Engaging in Difficult Conversations

32:29 Collective Care and Mindfulness

#sowhatwhocares #sowhatwhocarespodcast #loramccarville #jeffkalasky #community #connection #respect #trust #opencommunication #mindfulness #relationships #mentalhealth #belonging #sharedexperiences #collectivecare #isolation #loneliness #selfawareness #healing #wellbeing #growthmindset #podcast #podcasting