Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

What happens when the identities that make you who you are seem fundamentally at odds with each other? How do you reconcile being a mental health therapist who didn't recognize her own ADHD until their late 30s? Or being raised in a conservative Christian faith while gradually understanding your own queerness?These questions form the heart of this deeply personal episode where I share my journey of discovering parts of myself that had been hiding in plain sight.

For years, I chalked up my struggles with time management, emotional regulation, and constantly shifting interests as simply personality quirks or the normal challenges of parenting three children while running a therapy practice. Little did I realize that these were classic manifestations of ADHD in high-achieving women—a presentation rarely discussed in traditional mental health training.

The pandemic's forced pause created space for self-reflection that led to profound realizations about how I'd been masking not just my neurodivergence, but other aspects of my identity that didn't fit neatly into the boxes I was raised to occupy. Through social media, supportive communities like Progressive Asian American Christians, and my own therapeutic work, I began to understand how the pressure to assimilate and belong can keep us from seeing ourselves clearly.

What I've discovered is that unmasking—allowing ourselves to be authentically seen—requires specific conditions: quiet reflection time, the ability to observe ourselves without judgment, compassionate relationships that celebrate our differences, and sometimes professional guidance to help navigate the complexities of self-discovery.

If you're navigating seemingly irreconcilable identities or feel like you're constantly working harder than everyone else just to appear "normal," this episode is my hand reaching out to say you're not alone. Your journey toward authenticity is worth every uncomfortable moment, and finding spaces where all your identities can peacefully coexist is not just possible—it's transformative.

Come follow me on instagram @heyangelatam and my newsletter here. Looking forward to adventuring with you!

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

Navigating Midlife and Quarter-Life Crises: Personal Journeys and Insights

In this episode of the "So, Now What?" Podcast, we dive into the themes of quarter-life and midlife crises. I discuss how these crises can prompt significant changes in life, including shifts in routine, relationships, and self-identity.

I share about the impact of being an adult child of asian immigrants and some barriers to self-discovery journey, such as norm matching, masking, and trying to live up to everyone else's expectations at the cost of my authenticity.

I explore common triggers for these crises, such as social media comparison, mortality awareness, and new health diagnoses. I talk about my struggles with the Evangelical Church, discovering my queer identity during the COVID-19 pandemic, and navigating a new-to-me label of ADHD (as a therapist!).

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:57 Understanding Midlife and Quarter-Life Crises
06:50 Personal Experiences and Identity
09:53 Navigating Changes and Self-Discovery
11:50 Impact of COVID-19 and Realizations
15:06 ADHD and Personal Growth
24:35 Current Life and Professional Insights
27:08 Support and Conclusion

Come follow me on instagram @heyangelatam and my newsletter here. Looking forward to adventuring with you!

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

In this episode, we explore the topic of straddling multiple cultures and multiple sets of expectations. I grew up with my family's ancestral culture, which is a blend of Chinese/Vietnamese values, which is mostly oriented around safety, security and stability (past, present and future). In addition, I've learned to straddle western values of "do what you want", "be creative", "follow your dreams." I've learned to show up with different versions of myself that would maximize a sense of acceptance and belonging with these different groups.

The problem is that sometimes we don't realize that the values, beliefs, behaviors that we internalize and adopted may or may not be true to our authentic heartfelt values. We are so good with putting on so many masks to impress others, that we forget that we even have any masks on.

This podcast is for those who can identify with this and want to answer the questions: "Who am I? What do I want? What is really true to me and what have I unknowingly adopted that I want to shed and release?"

If you didn't get a chance to figure out what you truly value and have not been granted the permission to orient your lives around you, consider this to be your permission slip to BE you and DO you.

Come follow me on instagram @heyangelatam and my newsletter here. Looking forward to adventuring with you!

Send a DM to Angela directly! Share your comments, feedback and feels.

Hi!

I’m Angela Tam and welcome to my little corner of the podcast world. This podcast is for you if you are:

The FIRST in your family to live outside of the zone of survival. You are the first to break educational and career blocks in your lineage. You are the first to marry for love and not convenience. You are the first to navigate multiple cultures and identities.

The ONLY or one of the few POC on your team, one of the few WOC on the PTA or in the boardroom. One of the few POC in your neighborhood with young kids.

You are trying to do things differently than your family did. You want to measure success by different metrics. You want question why part of you wants to live up to others expectations while other parts of you want to to say F you to all the external pressure. You want to be a conscious parent and not pass down patterns that don’t serve you. So you are going to therapy and cultivating a reflective mindset.

If you are an FOD (First, Only, Different), I’m excited to share this space with you. I am going to be your biggest fan and champion as we both define our own meaning of success.

Come follow me on instagram @heyangelatam and my newsletter here. Looking forward to adventuring with you!