Dear Mama,

What if I told you Black mamas aren’t superheroes, that the cape is choking us, and our backs are brittle? What if I told you motherhood ain’t killing us, though, but the narratives we buy into hook, line, and sinker are? What if you had the option not to be the primary custodial parent? Would you decline out of obligation to the belief that a good Black mama would never choose to leave their children in the care of others, even the other parent? How does a Black mother respond when what’s best for her or her destiny clashes with cultural norms?

In this Mother’s Day episode, I shared my journey with Dem Black Mamas Podcast about the complexities and challenges of non-custodial parenting and Black motherhood. When Erica and her husband decided to divorce, they also agreed to shared custody. Each parent would have primary custody for 3 years of their son Maxwell who was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy 10 years ago.

We dive into:

• Confronting societal norms and cultural stigmas
• Navigating health and care decisions for children with special needs as a noncustodial parent
• Historical trauma and Black motherhood
• Renegotiating Black motherhood

Connect with Dem Black Mamas: YouTube | Email List | Patreon | Blusky

🗣️Engage: This is a conversation. Speak back to us! Share your thoughts about the episode using the hashtag #DemBlackMamas, DM us or email us at magic@demblackmamas.com.

Join our Weekly Grief Support Groups at sistersinloss.com/psi

You can shop my Amazon Store for the Book Recommendations

Join our Black Moms in Loss Online Weekly Grief Support Group

Join the Sisters in Loss Online Community

Sisters in Loss TV Youtube Channel

Sisters in Loss Instagram

Sisters in Loss Facebook

Sisters in Loss Twitter

Erica’s Website

Erica’s Instagram

Erica’s Facebook

Erica’s Twitter

Today's episode is a two part episode where we discuss adoption and second trimester loss. Today's guest Dr. Tatiana Height wanted to become a mother through private adoption as she was single at the time. During this time she faced alot of judgement from people about trying to adopt instead of carrying a biological child.

If you haven't listened to part 1 please go back to Episode 383 to listen.

In this episode we discuss her finding out she was pregnant, her second trimester and miscarriage loss story, her 3rd failed adoption, and her grief and healing journey. We discuss how the third mom changed her mind the day the baby was due. Her due date was right at the same time as Tatiana was entering her second trimester, so she put her adoption plan on hold to focus on pregnancy. At 19 weeks and 3 days, her water broke and she gave birth to a baby girl, but she didn't survive. 10 months later she got pregnant again, but miscarried around 6 weeks, and she is now trying to adopt again.

You can shop my Amazon Store for the Book Recommendations

Join our Black Moms in Loss Online Weekly Grief Support Group

Join the Sisters in Loss Online Community

Sisters in Loss TV Youtube Channel

Sisters in Loss Instagram

Sisters in Loss Facebook

Sisters in Loss Twitter

Erica’s Website

Erica’s Instagram

Erica’s Facebook

Erica’s Twitter

Have you considered adoption as a way to grow your family?

Today's episode is a two part episode where we discuss adoption and second trimester loss. Today's guest Dr. Tatiana Height wanted to become a mother through private adoption as she was single at the time. During this time she faced alot of judgement from people about trying to adopt instead of carrying a biological child.

In this episode we discuss the adoption process, her two failed adoptions, the grief and loss from that experience, and her search for a sperm donor to conceive her own child. We lead up in this episode of her matching with a third birth mother at the same time she found out she was pregnant. This second part that will air next week will go into her second trimester loss story, and her grief and healing journey.

You can shop my Amazon Store for the Book Recommendations

Join our Black Moms in Loss Online Weekly Grief Support Group

Join the Sisters in Loss Online Community

Sisters in Loss TV Youtube Channel

Sisters in Loss Instagram

Sisters in Loss Facebook

Sisters in Loss Twitter

Erica’s Website

Erica’s Instagram

Erica’s Facebook

Erica’s Twitter