This one’s raw. I recorded it sitting in the Trader Joe’s parking lot, feeling more in my body than maybe ever before. I talk about choosing a new way — and I speak from the middle of the reckoning.

When I started the bus project, I was still in fight-or-flight, chasing some shimmering oasis out there so I wouldn’t have to feel what was in here. But pain doesn’t vanish. It waits — like a rubber band around the waist, anchoring us to a moment we’ll ever be able to outrun.

In this moment, I got: wisdom and scars have something in common — they have to be earned. No one can walk the fire for you. This is me, standing in it, choosing to become whole from the inside out.

We are the tuning forks. We are the sound bowls. We embody the frequency of whatever it is we are carrying inside of us — or running from. I’m not looking for a safe place anymore… I am the safe place.

I end this episode with a short soul song — a prayer to reclaim the lost soul parts we’ve scattered along the way.

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and harm-reduction purposes only. I am not encouraging or advocating the use of any illegal substances. No substances were consumed during the making of this episode. Altered states—whether achieved through breathwork, drumming, or plant medicines—can impact perception and decision-making. Exploring these realms without proper guidance, preparation, and integration support can be dangerous. Please journey responsibly and in alignment with your own truth, safety, and sovereignty.

In the whirlwind of modern life, my husband Matt and I have learned to make space—sacred space—for the kind of remembering that only comes through deep inner journeying. When things feel sticky, stagnant, or spiraling, we return to the wellspring of connection that lives beneath the noise. Sometimes this portal opens through silence. Other times through rhythm, breath, sex or the support of ancient plant allies. There are an unlimited number of ways we as energetic beings can reach transpersonal states.

This episode is my first journey report—a story shared not as prescription, but as offering. I do not believe in one-size-fits-all healing. Plants are not pills, and healing is not linear. But story? Story is medicine we can all receive.

This is the tale of one deep dive into the mystery. I trust it will land on the ears of the ones who are meant to hear it. And I hope, in some small way, it reminds you: you are not alone.

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⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and harm-reduction purposes only. I am not encouraging or advocating the use of any illegal substances. No substances were consumed during the making of this episode. Altered states—whether achieved through breathwork, drumming, or plant medicines—can impact perception and decision-making. Exploring these realms without proper guidance, preparation, and integration support can be dangerous. Please journey responsibly and in alignment with your own truth, safety, and sovereignty.

Hiya friend, and welcome back! In this episode of Sex, Drugs, & Sound Bowls, I share a deeply personal aha moment that landed this winter—one that cracked me wide open. What started as an attempt to record a podcast with Matt turned into a powerful reflection on trauma, intimacy, and the freeze response that shows up in so many of our most vulnerable moments.

I speak candidly about how, for years, I couldn’t fully access the realm of sensuality and sexual connection in our marriage—how my body would freeze, how my past held me hostage, and how Matt never made me feel wrong for that. I saw, in his fear of the camera, a mirror of my own journey through healing. This episode is a love letter to the quiet, persistent ways we can hold space for one another and a celebration of the patient, playful, pressure-free invitation Matt extended to me—back to aliveness, back to the land of the living.

This one’s tender, and it’s real. A story of grace, nervous system truths, and the kind of love that doesn’t push, but waits.