Marriage can be beautiful, fulfilling, stretching, and deeply intimate, but it is not something I can honestly talk about for women without also talking about the risk, the labor, and the reality of what so many wives are carrying. In this conversation, I sit down with Yvette Henry to talk about what 15 years of marriage has taught her, why she still believes marriage can be worth it, and why I struggle to tell women that marriage is automatically worth it for them. We talk about choosing well, the limits of that advice, unpaid labor, faith-based expectations, the Proverbs 31 woman, emotional exhaustion, and what it means to stop performing wifehood and actually live inside a marriage that makes room for your whole self. Yvette also shares the heart behind her devotional Release, Rest, Remain, and why permission to rest is not something we need to wait for from our husbands, our children, the church, or the world… it is something we have to learn how to give ourselves.

Yvette Henry is a homeschooling mother of four, writer, and co-host of the podcast How Married Are You? alongside her husband, Glen. She has been married for 15 years, has built an incredible online community as Mrs. Melanin, and is the author of the devotional Release, Rest, Remain.

Connect with Yvette:

• Website
• IG
• Podcast

Resources mentioned:

• Release, Rest, Remain by Yvette Henry

Research mentioned:

• Women gain about seven more hours of housework per week after marriage — University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, Exactly How Much Housework Does a Husband Create?
• Men do about one hour less housework per week after marriage — University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, Exactly How Much Housework Does a Husband Create?
• Women initiate 69% of divorces, compared to 31% initiated by men — Michael J. Rosenfeld / American Sociological Association, Women More Likely Than Men to Initiate Divorces, But Not Non-Marital Breakups
• Who Wants the Breakup? Gender and Breakup in Heterosexual Couples — Michael J. Rosenfeld, Stanford University

In this episode, we cover:

• Whether marriage is actually worth it for women
• Why marriage requires work, not just love
• The danger of telling women to “choose well” like that alone can protect them
• What women gain and lose inside traditional marriage structures
• How faith can shape marriage, rest, and wifehood
• Why the Proverbs 31 woman has been misunderstood
• The difference between performing marriage and actually being in one
• Why rest has to come from within
• How Yvette and Glen think about division of labor, parenting, and partnership
• Why divorce can be an option without being treated like failure

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

Connect with Me:

• Instagram
• Shop My
• LTK
• YouTube - Chancè
• YouTube - Selfish Parenting
• TikTok

There is a kind of exhaustion that does not come from doing one more load of laundry or packing one more lunch – it comes from being the person who knows everything that needs to happen before anyone else even thinks to ask. In this episode, I’m joined by Paige Connell, known online as @SheIsAPaigeTurner, for a conversation about the part of the mental load that feels the most frustrating to name out loud: why so many women are expected to manage the home, explain the standards, teach their partners how to participate, and then somehow not feel resentful about it. We talk about default parenting, invisible labor, willing partners, outsourcing, the difference between helping and owning, and what it actually takes to stop being the project manager of your family.

Paige Connell is a content creator, writer, speaker, consultant, podcaster, and mom of four. Online, she is known as @SheIsAPaigeTurner, where she creates content about the mental load, equitable partnerships, motherhood, and what it means to build a home where both partners truly participate.

Connect with Paige:

• IG
• TikTok
• Website
• Podcast
• sheisapaigeturner@select.co

Resources mentioned:

• Paige’s Free Guide to the Mental Load Conversation
• Stanford University study on divorce initiation

In this episode, we cover:

• What the mental load looks like when it turns into resentment
• Why “just tell me what to do” still keeps women in charge
• The difference between a partner helping and a partner owning the work
• How women end up becoming the default parent without ever agreeing to it
• Why teaching a partner can feel unfair, even when the partner is willing
• How to know whether you have a willing partner or just a passive one
• Why outsourcing buys back time but does not erase the mental load
• The role of standards, safety, research, and invisible decision-making
• How to talk about the workload before you are already angry
• What our children learn when equity is modeled, not just talked about

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

Connect with Me:

• Instagram
• Shop My
• LTK
• YouTube - Chancè
• YouTube - Selfish Parenting
• TikTok

I grew up in the church. I prayed, I read my Bible, I believed God was the reason my family survived some of the hardest things we ever went through. Faith grounded me, especially as a refugee kid trying to make sense of losing everything and starting over. But I also grew up hearing that my body was a problem, that my value lived in my virginity, that motherhood was my highest calling, and that men’s comfort mattered more than women’s safety. In this episode, I’m talking about Christianity, modesty culture, Mormonism, Congolese churches, motherhood, and the part of faith that still feels confusing for me. I still pray. I still believe in God. I still find comfort in parts of the Bible. I also know I cannot raise my daughters inside the same shame, fear, and patriarchy that made me question my own body, my own freedom, and my own worth. This is where I am right now: grieving the church community I loved, questioning what I was taught, and choosing to teach my children about religion without handing them the trauma that came with mine.

Research mentioned:

• 42% of US adults have deconstructed from Christianity (Barna, Ex-Christians Aren’t the Only Ones Deconstructing Faith)
• 54% of Gen Z women (compared to 46% of men) have left their formative religions (Dan Foster / Medium, Why Young Women Are Leaving the Church in Droves)
• 40% of women ages 18-29 are now religiously unaffiliated (PRRI, Gen Z, Gender, and Religion)
• 65% of young women believe churches don't treat men and women equally (Survey Center on American Life, Young Women Are Leaving Church in Unprecedented Numbers)

In this episode, we cover:

• Why I stopped searching for a home church after spending years trying to find one that felt safe
• How modesty culture taught me to carry shame for a body I was still learning how to live in
• What Mormonism showed me about women doing the work while men held the power
• Why having daughters made me question which parts of church I was willing to pass down
• The grief I still feel for the community, care, and village that church gave me
• How I’m teaching my children about religion without making fear the foundation
• Why so many of us are questioning Christianity and realizing patriarchy was sitting right there with it
• What it feels like to still pray, still believe, and still not know where church fits in my life anymore

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

Connect with Me:

• Instagram
• Shop My
• LTK
• YouTube - Chancè
• YouTube - Selfish Parenting
• TikTok