Susanne Dillingham's daughter was 18 months old and still in diapers when Susanne walked away from her marriage. She had spent years building her private chef business, stepped away from it to stay home with her baby, and found herself in a marriage where money never got talked about and the support she needed wasn't there. So she left. She lived off her savings, rebuilt her business, and leaned on her sous chef to get through the days she was falling apart. I first met Susanne over handmade gnocchi at a Charlotte event, and I knew her story belonged on this show. We talk about the codependence she couldn't see while she was in it, what it took to trust her co-parent when bedtime looked different at his house, the story behind her memoir, Secret Ingredients of Life, and a Kingston University study of 10,000 people over 20 years that found women's happiness rises after divorce. If you've ever wondered whether anything is waiting for you on the other side of leaving, this one is for you.

Susanne Dillingham is a Florence-trained private chef, the founder of The Tiny Chef, and the author of the memoir Secret Ingredients of Life.

Connect with Susanne:

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Resources mentioned:

• Secret Ingredients of Life by Susanne Dillingham
• Empower Her Village
• 17. Changing the Default Parent | Why We Swapped Seats for a Year
• 4. The Truth About “Broken Homes” | A Domestic Violence Survivor’s Story feat. Wadzanai Karanja

Research mentioned:

• "Back to Baseline in Britain: Adaptation in the British Household Panel Survey," Economica (2013), research led by Professor Yannis Georgellis, Kingston Business School

In this episode, we cover:

• Why Susanne walked away when her daughter was still in diapers, and why it felt like her only option
• The flowers on her husband's lunchbox, and how she lost pieces of herself without noticing
• How the savings that carried her through also disqualified her from government assistance
• Learning to let go when bedtime looks different at the other parent's house
• The one piece of advice she gives any woman sitting in this decision right now

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.

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