Why do we sabotage the things we want most?

On this episode of Seen, I sit down with Lauren McQuistin, former Yale opera singer and author of How to Build a Life That You Don't Want to Escape From. Lauren has been sober for over eight years. She opens up about drinking before the auditions that mattered most, why she ruined her own chances on purpose, and what recovery really looks like.In this episode, you'll learn:- Why we sabotage our own success- Why stopping a behaviour is not the same as recovering from it- How to challenge shame, starting very small- Why there is no such thing as healedThank you Lauren for being so open.Chapters:Building A Life You Want To Escape (00:00)Hiding Behind Success (02:12)Drinking At 13 (06:56)Getting Sober At 25 (08:54)Being Ready To Accept Help (10:36)Self-Sabotage At Yale (13:51)Fear Of Failure And Success (16:32)How To Challenge Shame (20:37)Why We All Want To Escape (25:50)Loneliness And Screens (30:36)There Is No Healed (34:22) Stop Judging Your Past Self (40:53)If You Feel Beyond Saving (43:41)When Lauren Felt Seen (45:37)This episode talks openly about addiction, self-harm and eating disorders. If any of this is close to home, please speak to your GP or a support service such as Mind or Beat.Connect with Pandora Morris💌 Substack: Subscribe to Pandora's newsletter for honest reflections and thoughtful conversations about mental health, wellbeing, and life.https://substack.com/@seenwithpandora🌐 Website: Discover more about Pandora, explore past episodes, and find resources to support your wellbeing.https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/📸 Instagram: Follow Pandora for meaningful conversations, personal insights, and updates from Seen.https://www.instagram.com/seenwithpandora/🎧 Spotify: Follow Seen on Spotify and never miss a new episode.https://open.spotify.com/show/1Ku2D90pNwBLM17HvLxlB1?si=fbcad6ff3bb24bfa🍎 Apple Podcasts: Listen and subscribe to Seen on Apple Podcasts for more honest, thought-provoking conversations.https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/seen-with-pandora-morris/id1649515453💛 Recommended Resources: Explore Pandora's collection of mental health and wellbeing resources for additional guidance and support.https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/resourcesABOUT SEENHosted by Pandora Morris, Seen is a podcast featuring bold, brave, and honest conversations about mental health, wellbeing, relationships, and the experiences that shape our lives. Through personal stories and expert insights, Seen creates space for understanding, connection, and healing.

Do you ever get stuck in a spiral of intrusive thoughts and can’t step away from them, even when you know they aren’t true?

In this solo episode of Seen, I’m sharing what more than 25 years of living with severe OCD has taught me about handling intrusive thoughts. I’m not a therapist, and I’m not claiming to be an expert. These are the tools that have helped me most, and I hope they help you too.

Almost everyone has intrusive thoughts, whether or not they have OCD. The thoughts themselves aren’t the problem. What matters is what we do with them. I talk openly about my own experience: the bedtime prayers I felt I had to repeat for hours as a child, the fear that I’d done something terrible, the contamination fears, and the all-or-nothing thoughts I still have around food and exercise.

Join the community:

💌 Substack: Subscribe to Pandora's newsletter for honest reflections and thoughtful conversations about mental health, wellbeing, and life.→ https://substack.com/@seenwithpandora

🎧 Never miss an episode of SEEN! Listen to the podcast anytime, anywhere.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1Ku2D90pNwBLM17HvLxlB1?si=fbcad6ff3bb24bfa

Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/seen-with-pandora-morris/id1649515453

ABOUT SEEN

Hosted by Pandora Morris, Seen is a podcast featuring bold, brave, and honest conversations about mental health, wellbeing, relationships, and the experiences that shape our lives. Through personal stories and expert insights, Seen creates space for understanding, connection, and healing.

Connect with Pandora Morris

🌐 Website: https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seenwithpandora/💛 Recommended Resources: Explore Pandora's collection of mental health and wellbeing resources for additional guidance and support.→ https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/resources

Where do you start when life feels like too much?

On this bonus episode of Seen, I'm joined again by Toni Tone, author of Soft Life. We pick up where our main conversation left off, with the small, practical shifts that make life feel a little more gentle.

Toni shares why she'd start with what you can control and what you can stop doing, not with something new. We talk about why rest doesn't have to be earned, why sitting still can feel so uncomfortable, and the phone boundary most of us need. She also gives me a brilliant question for telling a real want from a "should".

In this episode, you'll learn:

- Where to start when you feel overwhelmed, and why stopping is easier than starting

- Why rest doesn't have to be earned, and why resting can feel so uncomfortable

- The one question that shows whether you really want something, or just feel you should

- Simple ways to make your life 10% softer this week, from sleep to time with friends

Chapters:

Feeling Overwhelmed? Where To Start (00:00)

Why Rest Doesn't Have To Be Earned (01:11)

How To Learn Contentment And Stop Always Striving (02:51)

The Boundary Most Of Us Need: Using Our Phones Less (03:58)

Should Vs Want: How To Tell The Difference (05:58)

When A Should Is Still Worth Doing (08:15)

How To Make Your Life 10% Softer This Week (10:12)

Connect with Pandora Morris

💌 Substack: Subscribe to Pandora's newsletter for honest reflections and thoughtful conversations about mental health, wellbeing, and life.→ https://substack.com/@seenwithpandora🎧 Never miss an episode of SEEN! Listen to the podcast anytime, anywhere.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1Ku2D90pNwBLM17HvLxlB1?si=fbcad6ff3bb24bfa

Apple Podcasts:https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/seen-with-pandora-morris/id1649515453

Connect with Pandora Morris🌐

Website: https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seenwithpandora/💛 Recommended Resources: Explore Pandora's collection of mental health and wellbeing resources for additional guidance and support.→ https://www.seenwithpandoramorris.com/resources

ABOUT SEEN

Hosted by Pandora Morris, Seen is a podcast featuring bold, brave, and honest conversations about mental health, wellbeing, relationships, and the experiences that shape our lives. Through personal stories and expert insights, Seen creates space for understanding, connection, and healing.