Welcome back to It’s a Scullion Thing.

The brutally honest, darkly funny, and totally outrageous podcast about growing up Scullion in 1970s in West Belfast.

In this episode, we’re diving headfirst into one of the most ridiculous and hilarious attempted crimes to ever come out of Andersonstown. The time a young Sean Scullion and his gang of teenage eejits tried to hijack a van, only to find out it belonged to the bloody IRA.

Set against the chaos of The Troubles, with petrol bombs flying and rubber bullets whizzing down the Glen Road, we follow Sean, the golden child of the Scullion family, and his band of daft but well meaning mates — aka the Moron Mafia — as they stumble upon a replica rifle during a local riot.

While most kids would’ve legged it in the other direction, not our Sean. No, he saw it as a sign from God and decided this was his moment to shine.

Their plan? Was Simple.

Hijack a car.

Or a van.

Or anything with wheels and go full gangster.

Take it for a joyride. Burn it out. Become local legends.

Armed with nothing more than pillowcase balaclavas, teenage bravado, and a very fake gun, these lads launched a hijacking attempt so ridiculous it deserves its own Netflix special.

Hiding in bushes like discount commandos, they jumped out in front of a van screaming like they'd watched too many action films, only to discover they'd picked the wrong target. The very wrong target. Behind that van window wasn’t some poor civilian, it was a van full of actual IRA men, that were armed and balaclava’d up and absolutely howling with laughter.

What followed was a standoff straight out of a comedy crime caper, with Sean dropping his “gun”, one of the boys wetting himself, and the IRA literally telling them to

“Take the next one, lads we’re on a job.”

Humiliated, terrified, and suddenly very aware of their own stupidity, the boys trudged home in silence, reputations shattered, dreams of gangland glory in ruins, and one replica rifle flung back into the bushes in pure betrayal.

This riotous tale is a masterclass in working-class absurdity, Belfast humour, and just how not to commit a crime.

It’s got it all:

Big Gangland Dreams

Badly planned delinquency,

Accidental run-ins with paramilitaries.

If you love stories about growing up in West Belfast, tales of dysfunctional but fiercely loyal families, and the kind of dark Irish comedy that makes you laugh, cringe, and gasp all at once, this episode is for you.

Think Derry Girls meets The Sopranos, with more chip pan grease and less planning.

Tune in now for a wildly entertaining ride through the streets of 1970s Belfast, where every riot had a fruit stall, every child had a smart mouth, and even the IRA had a sense of humour.

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