You found the label. You took the quiz. You know you're anxious, or avoidant, or somewhere in between. So why does nothing actually change?

In this episode, Iman Tohami breaks down how attachment theory, one of the most useful frameworks in psychology, became one of the most misused. We get into why calling yourself "anxiously attached" might be the very thing keeping you stuck, what the research actually says about how attachment works, and what it genuinely takes to shift the patterns that keep showing up in your relationships.

Your attachment style is not who you are. It's what you learned. And that changes everything.

You've read the books. You've done the challenges. You've started the morning routine more times than you can count. So why does it feel like you're still in the same place?

In this episode, Iman Tohami goes after one of the most profitable, and most protected, industries in the world: self-help. Not because growth isn't real, but because the industry selling it to you might be financially invested in you never quite getting there.

We get into why productivity culture is often just fear in a better outfit, how real therapeutic work exposes everything self-help gets wrong, and why telling people to journal their way out of a broken system isn't empowerment — it's blame dressed up as inspiration.

Plus: what actually works, according to research and the therapy room.

This one will make you think twice before buying the next book.

Modern dating has changed and so have breakups. In this episode of Said In Therapy, we unpack the rise of the “emotional disappearance”: situationships, avoidant attachment, the slow fade, ghosting, and why so many people detach the moment things start feeling real.

If you’ve ever been blindsided by someone who seemed all-in… then suddenly “wasn’t ready,” this episode is for you. We break down what’s actually happening beneath the surface psychologically, why finding a serious partner feels harder than ever, and how to protect your heart without becoming emotionally numb.

You’ll learn how to spot emotional unavailability early, the difference between chemistry and nervous system addiction, and what to look for if you want real commitment in a dating culture built around avoidance.

In this episode we cover:

• Why breakups feel colder and more confusing now
• The avoidant attachment cycle (and why it’s so addictive)
• Situationship culture + dating apps impact
• Why people leave at the first sign of discomfort
• How to date for emotional capacity (not potential)
• How to heal after unclear endings and rebuild self-trust

If this episode resonates, share it with someone who needs clarity and remember: stability is the new romance.

Trigger warning: abandonment, attachment wounds, breakups, ghosting

Healing doesn’t stop hurting just because you understand it.

I recorded this episode from a place I don’t talk about often — the beginning of my training, when I lost someone I loved and learned, very quickly, that insight doesn’t protect you from pain.

In this episode, I share how that experience reshaped the way I understand healing, both as a psychologist and as a human. We talk about grief, self-awareness, and why functioning isn’t the same as being healed.

If you’ve ever thought, “I should be further along by now,” this one is for you.

There is no timeline your nervous system is late for.

A birthday special with a big-picture conversation. In this episode of Said in Therapy, I hand the mic to my close friend Amanda, who steps in as guest host to interview me on another year of growth. Together, they dive into what self-care really looks like beyond the buzzwords, how therapy has shapes the personal and professional journey, and the mindset I am carrying into 2026. The conversation also expands outward, exploring thoughtful predictions on how AI may impact society, relationships, and mental health in the years ahead. Reflective and with an attempt to be forward-looking, this episode blends celebration with meaningful dialogue and, as always, leaves space for curiosity, healing, and much more. Happy new year!

In this episode of Said in Therapy we dives into the powerful topic of self-compassion and the inner critic, that harsh voice inside us that keeps us stuck in cycles of shame and self-doubt.

Why do we listen to it? How can we start talking to ourselves with kindness instead of criticism? And what actually happens when we shift from self-judgment to self-compassion.

In this follow-up to our AI and therapy discussion, we dive into the most common questions people are asking. Can AI really understand emotions? Is your data safe? Will therapists be replaced? I break down the real risks, the ethical challenges, and how to use AI tools wisely without losing the human touch. If you're curious or cautious about AI in mental health, this one's for you.

We unpack the powerful and deeply rooted word: “3aib", the shame that has silenced generations across the Middle East when it comes to mental health.

We explore how this cultural code of silence has kept pain behind closed doors, and what it means to finally speak the unspeakable.

You'll hear the story of Sara, a young woman who broke the cycle, chose therapy, and opened a path for healing, not just for herself, but for her family.