You found the label. You took the quiz. You know you're anxious, or avoidant, or somewhere in between. So why does nothing actually change?

In this episode, Iman Tohami breaks down how attachment theory, one of the most useful frameworks in psychology, became one of the most misused. We get into why calling yourself "anxiously attached" might be the very thing keeping you stuck, what the research actually says about how attachment works, and what it genuinely takes to shift the patterns that keep showing up in your relationships.

Your attachment style is not who you are. It's what you learned. And that changes everything.

You've read the books. You've done the challenges. You've started the morning routine more times than you can count. So why does it feel like you're still in the same place?

In this episode, Iman Tohami goes after one of the most profitable, and most protected, industries in the world: self-help. Not because growth isn't real, but because the industry selling it to you might be financially invested in you never quite getting there.

We get into why productivity culture is often just fear in a better outfit, how real therapeutic work exposes everything self-help gets wrong, and why telling people to journal their way out of a broken system isn't empowerment — it's blame dressed up as inspiration.

Plus: what actually works, according to research and the therapy room.

This one will make you think twice before buying the next book.

Modern dating has changed and so have breakups. In this episode of Said In Therapy, we unpack the rise of the “emotional disappearance”: situationships, avoidant attachment, the slow fade, ghosting, and why so many people detach the moment things start feeling real.

If you’ve ever been blindsided by someone who seemed all-in… then suddenly “wasn’t ready,” this episode is for you. We break down what’s actually happening beneath the surface psychologically, why finding a serious partner feels harder than ever, and how to protect your heart without becoming emotionally numb.

You’ll learn how to spot emotional unavailability early, the difference between chemistry and nervous system addiction, and what to look for if you want real commitment in a dating culture built around avoidance.

In this episode we cover:

• Why breakups feel colder and more confusing now
• The avoidant attachment cycle (and why it’s so addictive)
• Situationship culture + dating apps impact
• Why people leave at the first sign of discomfort
• How to date for emotional capacity (not potential)
• How to heal after unclear endings and rebuild self-trust

If this episode resonates, share it with someone who needs clarity and remember: stability is the new romance.

Trigger warning: abandonment, attachment wounds, breakups, ghosting