When I was a teenager and a member of a church youth group, someone crossed a physical line with me, and when they saw how angry I was, they asked me to lead the group prayer, as if that would pacify me.

I said no, because that was not the moment for grace, and that story is exactly why Sade Curry and I spent Part 2 of our open discussion stress-testing the framework.

If gracefully assertive only ever meant staying polite, it would be one more way of telling women to behave, so we dug into where a boundary ends and control begins, what to do about people who genuinely push their way through your door, and when the most effective move is to drop the grace and be blunt, messy, or angry.

Whether you're asking for a raise from a boss who keeps ignoring your emails or dealing with a bully looking for a target, you'll leave with a clearer sense of which tool to reach for and when.

In this episode, we tackle:

• You are not your job: how does individuation show up at work, and why is managing other people's disappointment not your business?
• When does setting a boundary turn into controlling someone?
• Is asking your boss to find out the maximum raise manipulation, or just a smart request?
• What if some people genuinely are too much, and how can a woman know she's right?
• What can you do when you keep asking for things and keep getting the same result?
• When is it right to drop the grace and be blunt, messy, or angry?

More on this:

• Watch the full video replay of this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eun63CwmgOY
• Learn about Sade Curry: https://sadecurry.com/
• Learn about Jamie Lee: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/

Text me your thoughts on this episode!

Enjoy the show?

• Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts.

Connect with me

• Book a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1.
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com

Once upon a time, when I was the only woman working at a nearly all-male equities trading desk, I was told I was too quiet, like it was a problem to be fixed. Some time later, I was told I was too loud, with a "will you please pipe down" tone.

Here's what I noticed: "too much" in other people's estimation can just mean "different from the version they were used to."

In this first part of my open discussion with divorce coach Sade Curry, we dig into the traps that open up when you've evolved and the people around you still hold you to an outdated set of expectations, from the ex who still expects your automatic yes to the employer who bristles when you finally ask for what you want.

We brought dating, work, and co-parenting into one dialogue because the same pull to shrink and accommodate follows you into every room, and the same skill of reading the room with grace lets you stay assertive without losing your spine or your warmth.

If the people who liked the old you are making your growth feel like a problem, this one is for you.

In this episode, we tackle:

• Who gets to decide whether a woman is "too much"?
• What happens when people liked you better when you were accommodating?
• What is individuation, and how does it help you stop managing another adult's thoughts, feelings, and reactions?
• Can being direct kill the spark in dating, and what's really happening when you attract the wrong people?
• Can asking for what you want backfire at work, and what can you do instead of making one-sided demands?
• Is "graceful" just one more thing women have to get right?

More on this:

• Watch the full video replay of this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eun63CwmgOY
• Learn about Sade Curry: https://sadecurry.com/
• Learn about Jamie Lee: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/

Text me your thoughts on this episode!

Enjoy the show?

• Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts.

Connect with me

• Book a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1.
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com

What if leadership is really about following?

I sat down with my friend Kimberly Lai, coach, leadership facilitator, and Brazilian Zouk dancer whose infectious joy for the dance got me into dance classes for a whole year.

In this episode, she shares how Zouk taught her to embody leadership in a new way, and how she landed the exact job and salary she wanted after everyone told her that it would be "impossible."

What You'll Learn

• What partner dancing teaches you about trust, control, and leading people at work
• How Kimberly got her dream job at her exact salary by getting crystal clear and telling everyone
• Why asking "How do I want to feel?" beats searching for the perfect script
• How to move through fear by giving equal time to what could go right
• How your body holds intelligence the mind chatter misses, from felt sense and interoception to nonverbal connection, and how they connect to leadership presence

Follow us:

• Kimberly Lai on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-h-lai/
• Kimberly Lai (dancing) on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlaidancing
• Jamie Lee on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leejieunjamie/
• Jamie Lee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamieleecoach/

Text me your thoughts on this episode!

Enjoy the show?

• Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts.

Connect with me

• Book a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1.
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com