What Does It Really Mean to Be an Ally?

Allyship can be a thorny topic—stirring discomfort, shame, or confusion about how to show up without overstepping or saying the wrong things.

In a time of growing division and discrimination, many people are asking: How do I use my unearned advantages to create more inclusion without offending people?

In this episode of Risky Conversations, I sit down with Rashida Bonds, an ally coach who says that true allyship isn’t about virtue signaling or grand gestures.

Allyship is about doing the inner work—and returning to our most authentic, compassionate selves.

In this episode, explore:

• What true allyship looks like beyond the performative gestures
• How to use privilege in service of community care and equity
• Why cultural humility is essential, especially in leadership, and Rashida's lived experiences of it
• How to navigate mistakes, avoid burnout, and stay grounded in purpose
• Practical ways to create safety and belonging in everyday interactions with folks from marginalized communities

Whether you’re a leader, teammate, or simply someone who wants to do better, this conversation is an invitation to reflect, recommit, and root your allyship in care.

Learn more about Rashida and her work here: https://www.instagram.com/iamrashidabonds/

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Today, I want to share something I originally wrote as an email to one of my coaching clients. It touches on something that shapes nearly everything we do: the pursuit of happiness.

Here’s the context. One of my clients is an executive at a major tech company. She’s leading a bold new initiative that involves hiring, retaining, and coaching a team of sharp, high-performing people who can deliver results fast.

She’s working hard. She’s making real progress. And in one of our sessions, a powerful question came up:

How do I maximize happiness in this role?

In this episode you'll learn:

• The difference between transactional and inherent happiness—and why most of us are addicted to the former
• A personal story about the moment that shifted my perspective on success and fulfillment
• What a rickshaw driver taught me about joy, even in the absence of wealth or status
• Why chasing happiness through promotions, praise, and paychecks can quietly lead to burnout
• How embracing complexity and paradox can unlock a more sustainable sense of well-being
• What I told a tech executive client who asked how to maximize happiness in a high-pressure leadership role
• The surprising reason my clients often reach their goals faster when they stop clinging to specific outcomes
• A practical invitation to map your own Blueprint to Confidence—and redefine success on your terms: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/apply

Text me your thoughts on this episode!

Enjoy the show?

• Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts.

Connect with me

• Book a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1.
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com

This year, I'm turning Buddhist, meditating with a sangha (a community of Buddhist practitioners), bowing in the morning, and taking lessons from Buddhist teachers.

This happened because I started reading Billy Seol's Substack (https://substack.com/@julylifecoach), which he writes every single day (impressive!)

I've come to consider Billy as a kind of spiritual god brother.

In this deep dive into the intersection of Buddhism, coaching, and personal growth, Billy takes us through his journey of:

• Early experiences with depression
• Career in tech companies (Apple, Disney)
• Searching for a comprehensive approach to understanding life and ending suffering
• Embracing Buddhism as a practical life approach

And we have a brainy debate about applying Buddhist principles to real-life workplace challenges for women and people of marginalized identities:

• Dealing with discrimination and marginalization
• Finding agency under challenging situations
• Doing hard things on purpose as a path to growth

Mentioned in the podcast:

• Billy's website: https://www.julylifecoach.com/
• Zen And The Art of Dealing with Office Politics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcmoJuGwm4o
• HOME with Simone Seol (Billy's sister): https://www.simonegraceseol.com/come-home

Text me your thoughts on this episode!

Enjoy the show?

• Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts.

Connect with me

• Book a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1.
• Connect with me on LinkedIn
• Email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com