Episode Summary

Ever felt like you're too comfortable? Too insulated from real experiences? Ray's story follows a man who's spent his life saying "yes" to random invitations, from "do you want to come climbing?" at a carnival to adventures that nearly killed him in Peru.

If you're feeling stuck in routines or wondering whether you should follow that thing that's been calling to you, Ray's story shows what's possible when you trust what grabs you physically and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Five Lessons from Ray's Story

1. Say yes to throwaway conversations
The biggest opportunities often come disguised as casual suggestions. The magic isn't in the invitation - it's in saying yes when most people would say "maybe later."

2. Your body knows before your brain does
Ray felt those Welsh hills in his bones before he could articulate why. Sometimes you need to trust what grabs you physically, not what makes logical sense.

3. The humble ones change everything
Ray calls himself a "right wimp" while describing surviving at 19,000 feet. Often the humble ones shape other people's lives - they're too busy doing the work to notice how extraordinary they are.

4. Let people get messy
Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is stop protecting them from getting their hands dirty.

5. Keep going when you're broken
Ray was "wobbly" for years after a school attack but never stopped living. You don't have to be fixed to keep moving forward.

Key Quotes

"It's hard to describe - you know when something grabs you, when something kind of gets hold of you."

"Get out there and do something. Get your hands dirty. Bang your head on the wall. Smack your knuckles on the rock."

"You've just got to get out there and feel a bit of nature. Get away from all this comfort and material bollocks."

Connect with Reflective Rebels

If Ray's story stirred something in you - if you recognise that feeling of being too comfortable or wondering what you're missing by playing it safe - you're not alone.

Join the email community at reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter for honest insights about getting unstuck and first access to gatherings where you can connect with other people who are done pretending everything's fine.

And if you're ready to make changes that feel scary but right - drop me an email about coaching. Because sometimes we need support to say yes to the things that matter.

What do you do when your body says "enough" before you're ready?

Patricia's story: From working in finance in Hong Kong, to prison counseling, to stroke recovery - and why slowing down might not be the worst thing that could happen.

Listen if you:

• Feel like you're always pushing through, never slowing down
• Worry about what happens if you can't keep up the pace
• Are dealing with health issues that have changed everything
• Wonder if there's wisdom in being forced to rest
• 
  

39 minutes about resilience, recovery, and finding meaning when life changes the rules.

Five Lessons from Patricia's Story

1. Your work identity isn't your worthPatricia discovered that the business impact she thought was crucial "actually didn't matter" and "mattered a lot to me" but not to others. Your value exists beyond your professional achievements.

2. Slow down or life will stop youPatricia was working "all hours God said" and "stressed to hell" until her stroke forced a complete halt. If you don't choose to slow down, it chooses you.

3. Adventure requires jumping without a netFrom Hong Kong to prison work to starting a business - Patricia's biggest life changes happened when they took leaps without guaranteed outcomes.

4. Real strength is knowing when to ask for helpPrison work taught Patricia that seeking help is "huge bravery, not failure" and that "backing down is a route you need to take."

5. Kindness is the pointAfter experiencing profound kindness during her recovery, Patricia realized "if you can extend a hand of kindness, it's incredible the amount of difference that can make."

Quotable moments:

"I still wake up every morning and think I'm still alive. I never used to do that but now I know what that feels like."

"Is anybody going to die? This is where we start the measuring from rather than going full-on panic stations."

"The things that are right in front of you that you just bypass... are actually the most important things, but you just walk by them as if they're nothing."

"If you can extend a hand of kindness, it's incredible the amount of difference that sometimes can make."

"Backing off is not a failure and backing down is a route that you need to take."

"I think it's very important for us all to be human and kind."

"There's a freedom in my heart when I hear the music and I hear the voice and that beautiful instrument that is the voice that just soars."

"Sometimes you've just got to present that really outlandish thought that this five foot woman's going to knock out this six foot two guy."

Resources Mentioned:

• Lonsdale Cinema, Annan
• Carlisle Hospital Stroke Unit

About the Host:Ben is a qualified coach and creator of Reflective Rebels, a community for people who want to live more authentically. Based in Carlisle, he's on a mission to spread joy because life is too short to be shit. Through honest conversations and practical support, Ben helps people figure out what matters to them and find the courage to make changes.Connect with Patricia's story:If this conversation resonated with you, join the Reflective Rebels email community for honest insights, practical tools and first access to new gatherings. Or if you're ready for a change in your story, contact me about coaching.

Episode Summary:

What do you hold onto when everything falls apart?

Craig's story: From Bell's palsy at 15 to his partner's terminal cancer diagnosis, plus the Acer tree that became his anchor through it all.

Listen if you:

• Feel like life keeps throwing curveballs at you
• Wonder how some people stay grounded during chaos
• Need to hear that kindness and humor matter more than having it all figured out
• Are supporting someone through illness or crisis

42 minutes about resilience, anchors, and choosing kindness when life gets brutal.

Key Takeaways:

Difficult experiences can become sources of perspective - Bell's palsy at 15 taught Craig "it's not that bad" and "it'll be over eventually"

Finding your anchors matters - Whether it's an Acer tree for weeding, music in the front room, or running in the rain

Joy lives in small moments - Overheard conversations, watching team members grow, a son eating pizza for the first time

Being kind and helping others is what matters most - Using your struggles to help others through theirs

Everything happens for a reason - Finding peace with uncertainty and not always knowing what comes next

Quotable Moments:

"I've always been able, since then I think, been able to look at life and go, two things, it's not that bad. And I know it'll be over eventually."

"There's an Acer tree in our garden that probably saved me... I actually do enjoy it, but don't tell Jenny I enjoy it because it needs doing this weekend."

"Being nice to people matters, being kind matters, and trying to help people matters to me, because I know the things that I've struggled on."

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to Reflective Rebels Podcast

00:47 - Embracing Creativity and Music

13:09 - Turning point: Bell's Palsy

20:42 - Life Changes: Moving to the Lake District

23:55 - Life in Burnley: A Personal Reflection

27:54 - Finding Joy in Everyday Moments

31:57 - Appreciating the small things

33:44 - Coping with Challenges: Under the Acer tree

36:07 - Facing Uncertainty with Hope

47:12 - Thank you for listening

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Bell's palsy and its long-term impact
• Moving from Burnley to the Lake District
• High-end hi-fi and album listening
• Running to Doors and Rage Against the Machine
• The Acer tree as a place of refuge
• Eden Valley Hospice fundraising
• The importance of having someone to trust

Support & Resources

If Craig's story has brought up difficult feelings or you're facing similar challenges, support is available:

• Samaritans: samaritans.org - for anyone struggling with difficult emotions
• Macmillan Cancer Support: macmillan.org.uk - for anyone affected by cancer
• Mind: mind.org.uk - mental health information and support
• Bell's Palsy Association: bellspalsy.org.uk - specific support and information
• Eden Valley Hospice: edenvalleyhospice.org - the hospice Craig is fundraising for

If This Resonates...

Are you looking for your own anchors when life feels uncertain?

Craig's story reminds us that resilience isn't about having all the answers - it's about finding the small things that ground us, being kind to others, and trusting that we'll get through whatever comes next.

Join our email community for more honest stories about finding strength in difficulty and joy in unexpected places.

And if you're navigating your own challenging time - whether it's work, business, relationships, or life transitions - I'd love to explore how coaching can help you. Sometimes we all need support to see what we can't see ourselves. Email me ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk

Episode Summary:

If you've ever felt anxious when things are actually going well, this episode is for you.

Martha's story: How stability triggered anxiety, why "I'm not creative" became her biggest lie, and what wild swimming taught her about being human.

Listen if you:

• Feel anxious even when you "should" be grateful
• Tell yourself stories about what you can't do
• Wonder why the good times sometimes feel harder than the bad ones
• Think you're not the "creative type"

35 minutes of honest conversation about anxiety, creativity, and the stories we tell ourselves.

Key takeaways

• Anxiety can emerge during stability, not just chaos - Sometimes when life finally settles, we start feeling things we've been too busy to process
• From "I hate the Lake District" to finding peace in wild swimming - Our strongest "never" statements often hide our greatest transformations
• "I'm not creative" to oil painting success - Challenging lifelong assumptions can unlock parts of ourselves we never knew existed
• Making people laugh can be armour we outgrow - Using humour to deflect and fit in might protect us but can also disconnect us from our authentic selves
• Therapy isn't just for crisis moments - Investing in mental health maintenance when things are good can be life-changing
• 
  

Quotable Moments:

"I think marriage is a continual choice. Whether that takes 10 years to get married or it takes nine months to get married, if you are with somebody that is willing to work on it with you... the time thing doesn't make a big difference."

"It was paralysing to be honest and it was so different to who I thought I was... I didn't want to leave the house ever. And that was crazy to me because I'm a social person."

"There's a peace that you cannot describe... being in the middle of a lake, just looking around and taking that in, it makes you realise that you're quite small... it reminds you of the big things in life."

Timestamps

• 00:00 Intro
• 00:47 Getting to know Martha
• 04:35 At school
• 07:11 Falling in love
• 10:39 Marriage: Choices and Reflections
• 16:49 Authenticity and Personal Growth
• 20:06 Navigating Life Changes and Mental Health
• 28:25 Understanding Anxiety: Personal Experiences
• 35:24 Finding Joy in Nature and Stillness
• 40:42 Embracing Creativity and New Experiences
• 45:27 Outro

Mentioned in this episode

• Wild swimming in the Lake District
• Oil painting classes
• The power of therapy for mental health maintenance
• Louis Theroux documentaries (perfect 7:30pm viewing!)
• King Silver (fantasy book recommendation)

If this episode resonates...

Are you ready to challenge the stories you've been telling yourself?

If you're standing at your own moment of questioning - whether it's about your career, your business, or simply who you think you are - you're not alone. Sometimes the biggest transformations start with the smallest question: "What if I'm wrong about this?"

Join my email community for reflections on living authentically, choosing your own enough, and stories that remind you your story isn't over yet.

And if this story resonates deeply - if you're ready to challenge your own stories and create real change - I'd love to explore how I can support your transformation.

Contact me today.

For business owners whose days define them instead of the other way around. Who do everything for everybody else while drifting through their own existence.

Real people putting down their masks and sharing what's actually happening in their lives - not the LinkedIn version, but the honest truth about struggle AND joy, mess AND meaning. The kind of conversations that make you think, 'I'm not the only one who feels this way.'

You'll feel less alone in whatever you're going through, maybe learn something about yourself in their story, and find the courage to make a change in your own life.