Is cheating common in a game of football? How does a ref decide whether or not to give a Red Card? A Yellow Card? Stop the Match? We go inside the Referee's mind to discover exactly what it takes for a parent to don the kit and pick up a whistle. What are the no go zones for on field behaviour? How much money can you make? is it tax deductible? And do you have to be mad to even try. Ben Walker , Australian parent, Lawyer and civil servant, and former house husband takes his experience with the rules to a whole new level in this conversation about his life as a ref . Here are his notes from our session. Of course, he's the ref, he always does the paperwork.

Fitness, legitimate cash money, learning new skills all came into it for Ben, as well as a pressing need to get out of the house. In Ben's mind, what makes a good referee is:

Good fitness.

Sense of humour.

Good knowledge of the rules.

Being close to the play

Be decisive aka ‘sell your decision’ and see the lighter side of things when appropriate

How to get the best out of a referee from a juniors club perspective:

Within reason to look after them and make sure they’re capable marshals to escort them to and from the pitch, ensure that the change rooms are in reasonable order, make sure they have good access to refreshments and be mindful there is little time between matches so referees on match day are truly time poor

Be mindful of cliched gender roles:

So many juniors clubs have the women at relegated to the tuckshop and perhaps Team Manager - a thankless task, normally. By comparison the blokes lounge around drinking coffee's and /or beers and perhaps, if pressed, will run the line. These are exaggerations but you get the point.

Ben says it’s always very helpful to have the pitch markings in good order, that way the players and spectators and especially officials can tell whether the ball is in or out of play. It aids safety, reduces confusion and can reduce the potential for needless conflict

Benches and the referee:

Smart benches don’t constantly abuse the referee. They realise it potentially puts him/her offside it also can lead to the bench being thrown off the pitch (red card) and big fines as well as setting a poor example to the players & spectators.

Benches are not a de facto spectator space. Only team officials and actual players should be there, the reason being if the ball is really hardly struck and goes into the bench area and someone gets hurt there’s a significant risk that non-officials non-players won’t be covered for injury if they’re hurt.

At a lesser level, the smart thing to do if the Bench is concerned a particular player is not being treated fairly is to very clearly and simply say it loudly when the referees going past. Although the preferable method is for the captain to raise it with the referee in a break in play e.g. say that the striker has been knocked around or blocked or whatever the issue is.

Any referee worth feeding is open to a respectful request and will be more vigilant.

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