In Episode 9 of Pain. Full. Truth., I talk about what it really means to start working again while living with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS).

The DRG trial has been postponed until the end of October, but life didn’t wait. A new job brought purpose and pride — and a whole new kind of pressure. I share what it’s like trying to balance meetings around medication, smiling through flare-ups, and dealing with the quiet guilt of looking “better” while still fighting the same invisible battle every day.

This episode also opens up about the financial realities of returning to work, the way people’s perceptions change, and how stepping back from streaming has left a quiet gap that I’m still learning how to fill.

It’s honest, raw, and real — because sometimes progress doesn’t look like healing… it just looks like showing up.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod

In Episode 8 of Pain. Full. Truth., I open up about the reality of living with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) when every day feels like a test of endurance.

This episode is about the quiet moments most people never see — the exhaustion, the frustration, the pressure to keep things normal for my family, and the guilt that creeps in when I can’t. I talk about the balance between wanting to do more and knowing that doing more will cost me days of recovery afterwards.

I also share how I’m trying to hold everything together while waiting for the next stage of treatment, managing medication, and finding small moments of control in a life that feels anything but predictable.

This isn’t just about pain — it’s about persistence, family, and finding strength when you’ve got nothing left in the tank.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod

In Episode 7 of Pain. Full. Truth., I open up about the other trial I face — not in a hospital, but in front of the benefits system. Living with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) means constant pain, but it also means constantly proving that pain to strangers.

I talk about the endless paperwork, the tick-box questions that never capture reality, and the assessments that make you feel like you’re on trial for your own life. I share how this process chips away at your pride, affects your mental health, and ripples through your family.

This episode also looks ahead to what comes next — my two-week Pain Management course at Guy’s & St Thomas’, the build-up to the DRG stimulation trial, and the uncertainty of knowing my future depends on a 50% pain reduction target.

If you’ve ever battled the benefits system, doubted yourself while filling in forms, or felt invisible in your own pain — this one’s for you.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod

In Episode 6 of Pain. Full. Truth., I take you inside the build-up to one of the biggest decisions of my life — whether to go ahead with DRG stimulation for Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS).

I share what the trial process looks like, the pressure of chasing a 50% pain reduction target, and the emotional rollercoaster of waiting for hospital appointments that could change everything — or nothing at all.

This episode also explores the toll that “maybes” take on mental health, the conversations I’ve had with my family about risks and hopes, and what it means to live in limbo when pain is guaranteed but the future is not.

If you’ve ever lived with uncertainty, balanced hope with fear, or tried to plan a future while stuck in the waiting room of life, this episode will resonate with you.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod

In Episode 5 of Pain. Full. Truth., I open up about the hidden battles that come with living on long-term medication for Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) and phantom limb pain.

I talk about the slow increase of Pregabalin over three years, the cocktail of drugs I take each day, and the side effects nobody warns you about — from brain fog to fatigue to hallucinations I rarely admit to.

But it’s not just the meds. This episode explores the silent impact of trying to show up for family trips and birthdays, while knowing I’ll pay the price for days afterwards. The guilt of watching my wife shoulder more, the pressure I put on myself to be “better by now,” and the way I hide the pain because I’m tired of saying the same words over and over.

I also talk about stepping away from streaming when it all got too much — and how online communities brought me back, reminding me I wasn’t completely alone.

This is an episode about the things we don’t say out loud, and the weight we carry in silence.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod

In Episode 4 of Pain. Full. Truth., I open up about the spiral — those stretches of time when chronic pain, medication, and exhaustion all collide.

I talk about the toll of living with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), the endless cycle of appointments, and the mental health battles that come with trying to stay afloat when your body keeps dragging you down.

This episode isn’t just about pain — it’s about honesty. About admitting when you’re not coping, about the hidden costs of trying to hold it together, and about the moments when silence feels easier than telling the truth.

If you live with chronic illness, disability, or know someone who does, this episode shines a light on the reality most of us never speak out loud.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod

In Episode 3 of Pain. Full. Truth., I take you inside the day that changed my life forever — the morning I walked into the operating theatre knowing I would leave without part of my foot. After months of battling chronic pain and Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), the decision to amputate had been made, but nothing could prepare me for the reality.

From the quiet journey to the hospital, to the last painful steps on my original foot, and the surreal moments waking up after surgery, this episode is an unfiltered account of amputation, nerve pain, and the hope that maybe this would be the turning point.

If you’re living with disability, recovering from major surgery, or navigating invisible illness, this story offers a rare look at the emotional and physical reality of such a life-changing day.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod

In Episode 2 of Pain. Full. Truth., the story moves from hope to one of the hardest choices of my life — the decision to amputate. After my first surgery failed to bring relief and the chronic pain only grew, doctors finally mentioned the unthinkable: removing part of my foot.

I share the relentless symptoms of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), the endless medical appointments, and the emotional weight of letting go of the career I had built. This was more than a medical decision — it was about identity, survival, and the fight to take back control from nerve pain and a rare disease that was reshaping my future.

For anyone facing impossible medical choices, living with disability, or navigating invisible illness, this episode is a raw look at the reality behind those moments.

💙 Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/painfulltruthpod