In this re-posted episode from our shadow series, Patrick and Jonah have an intimate and reflective conversation where they work to reclaim the true meaning of ‘repentance,’ or ‘metanoia’—a change of heart and mind that arises not through fear, but through the courage to face our shadows with compassion. They are inspired by the words that are spoken in the time of St. John from the altar in the renewed worship service: “The health bearing, guilt conscious” word that comes like a flame into our lives.

They begin the conversation by once more looking at one of the shadows Christianity itself has cast, naming how church communities have often wielded repentance as a tool of coercion, distorting it into a threat rather than a gift. Jonah shares a formative experience of being told, as a teenager, that unless he spoke the “right words,” he would burn forever in hell—an image he compares to having a spiritual gun to the head.

Yet rather than discarding repentance altogether, the conversation leads deeper. Through honest stories—such as Jonah’s moment of awakening when his daughter was diagnosed with a chronic illness, or Patrick’s encounter with a college friend who called him back to integrity—we glimpse the possibility of a repentance that dignifies rather than diminishes. It is a turning that doesn’t wallow in guilt but opens a path forward, grounded in love. When we find the courage to look at the egotism, denial, or failures that have been revealed to us, we can begin to recognize what Light is making these things visible. Illumined by the gaze of Christ who suffers alongside us, we may discover that even our darkness we uncover can become the ground in which true light takes root. This episode invites listeners into that quiet miracle: repentance not as punishment, but as preparation for this loving light of His gaze.

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The Light in Every Thing is a podcast of The Seminary of The Christian Community in North America. Learn more about the Seminary and its offerings at our website. This podcast is supported by our growing Patreon community. To learn more, go to www.patreon.com/ccseminary.

Thanks to Elliott Chamberlin who composed our theme music, “Seeking Together,” and the legacy of our original show-notes and patreon producer, Camilla Lake.