This week, we’re lighting up the headlines:

🔥 The Project is CANCELLED – Channel 10 axes the show no one was watching.

🛥️ Greta Thunberg sails into Gaza chaos – Throws her phone in the ocean, gets intercepted, and somehow ends up flying out of Israel. So much for reducing emissions.

💥 LA Riots 2025 – Looting, fires, rubber bullets, and journalists caught in the crossfire. But don’t worry, it’s mostly peaceful…

💘 Trump vs Elon – Are they fighting or flirting? We break down the bromance breakdown.

📺 Rubber bullet outrage – Albanese lies again. The media suddenly cares now that it’s one of their own.

🔪 Machete Madness in Melbourne – Another shopping centre lockdown, another service station attack, another "mentally unwell" offender.

🚗 VF Holden heroes – One Melbourne family said “stuff it” and chased down their stolen car themselves.

🌎 Carlz is Done – The world’s gone mad and she’s looking for the eject button.

🦠 New Pandemic Panic Incoming – The Herald Sun warns we’re one step away. Sound familiar?

Grab a drink, settle in, and enjoy this spicy episode of unapologetic common sense.

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