The definition of mental load for us is the anticipation of everyone else’s needs and making sure everything is taken care of so your household runs smoothly. The effort and execution it takes for a woman to do that is far more than meets the eye, even if you’re really paying attention.
It’s the size of a massive sombrero - breaking our backs and putting us off balance. Have you seen that reel going around on social media?
How many times has your partner asked you what they need to get from the grocery store and if you mention more than two things they ask for a list. Make your own damn list! You have your phone in your hands, send yourself a text with the items I’m giving you while I’m probably doing three things at once on my own to do list. Ladies, do you feel this way? We are emotionally and mentally exhausted at the end of the day from constantly catching and keeping up with the joneses.

Come and join us for the conversation!

From the real-time discovery that we were triggering each other with our own duties in the home (a light-hearted joke, of course), we realize a lot of what women should be doing is what makes the most sense for her own family.

Traditional roles aren’t functional in our day and more women are out shattering glass ceilings, providing for their families alongside their partners. Many women are even the bread-winners!

Tonia discusses the harshness of what was expected of her as a daughter and the extreme punishments handed down to her when she didn’t meet her now-estranged mother’s unrealistic expectations. One of the punishments she talks about is a 4pm curfew for about long length of time during her high school years before finally moving out on her own at 17.

Vanessa discusses how traditional roles feel outdated for us and yet we strongly feel it’s none of our business how another family runs their household or how a woman chooses to live her life.

No one should have any expectations of how a grown woman lives her life except for herself.

While we started with a Gabor Maté quote about how feeling all of the emotions about a specific situation helps us to achieve forgiveness, we really sat in the feelings of anger itself. How do you handle your anger? One of Gabor Maté's famous quotes explains, "It's not about getting better, it's about getting better at feeling". Join us in having this difficult but important conversation.

Heavy conversation starters happening in toady’s episode of QCP. Tonia and Vanessa dig into important issues we all faced as children and discover the changes Tonia is making to raise her daughters with information to support and guide them through the big decisions they’ll need to make in their lives. There are a few laughs along the way as we discover her daughter has accidentally seen daddy’s private parts and shares how shocked she is that daddy has a long vulva.

We quickly dive back into discussions where Vanessa felt like her body had never been her own, realizing she thought her purpose was to be an object for the men in her life whom she was meant to serve. Our intention with this conversation and the many uncomfortable turns taken is to build up the understanding that sharing more information with our children can help to set them up with a tool box full of security and empowerment. Inside of that tool kit is where they will reach when faced with hard situations so they make better decisions than we did.

We are setting the kids up with tools they can use in every situation for their whole lives and empowering them to always connect with themselves first. We want to teach them to trust their authenticity and teach them to listen and always questions their body’s many sirens.

Every ten episodes of Quality Coffee Podcast Tonia and Vanessa will spend the show answering questions the other has about their life’s experiences. As the podcast grows our audience is invited to send in their burning questions for this forty-something duo. One today’s episode discussions lead us through having children after never expecting to, what it would be like to live a day in each others shoes and then a super fun lightning round that ends in a super cute finale. We look forward to continuing our vulnerable and raw relationships with you all!

One of the most important questions we have as 40-something women is how we can improve our sleeping habits? In this episode of Quality Coffee Podcast Tonia and Vanessa share small shifts like monitoring water intake before bed so they’re not waking up through the night, meeting with their respective naturopaths for more concrete answers, and learning more about the path to quality health and sleep by taking out the guesswork. If this description sounds sleepy, we also promise tons of explicit language and not to bore the pants off you!

Sleep is paramount to our health journeys as we close in on middle age, especially with both of us navigating autoimmune diseases. We know we're not alone! Join the conversation with us and be sure to follow along with us on your favourite social media channels, too!

Learning to find balance in a space where constant forward motion is the culture is of the highest importance when protecting your peace. Both of us agree that we want the projects and businesses we are working on both together and separately to be successful and we will do the work to make that happen. However, neither one of us is willing to sacrifice our health to do it. We are having these unscripted conversations to discover even more about ourselves right here with you in the hopes of being the conversation starters you might need to get your own ball rolling. You don't have to be an entrepreneur to hustle - we do that in many aspects of our lives. Let us know how you relate! Enjoy the show.

This conversation plays out quite naturally as Tonia and Vanessa explore ways they've learned to navigate the transition into their forties. The calmer years come from experience and the ever underestimated component of time all wrapped up in one, suggesting that our time to become better peoples ever evolving. We used to avoid pain or confrontation and now we appreciate the value in these discussions. We leave too much to the imagination when we're not direct or clear about who we are, what expectations we have and how we'd like things to be in our own lives. Join the discussion with us...