In Episode 284 of the PBSE podcast, we dive into the harrowing story of a woman navigating her husband’s sudden shift from sex addiction recovery to identifying as polyamorous. After years of pain, betrayal, and dedicated recovery work, she’s now facing a radical alteration in the foundation of their relationship. Her husband demands acceptance of his new identity, while she grapples with whether this is a genuine expression of self or a veiled escape from the demands of sobriety and responsibility.

Throughout the episode, we explore three critical pillars of relationship health: authenticity, acceptance, and compatibility. Authenticity means being true to oneself—but also responsibly evaluating which parts of the self to honor when they are in conflict. Acceptance involves respecting another’s path without necessarily agreeing with or adopting it. And compatibility is the often-overlooked requirement for sustainable connection—two people must share enough vision, values, and direction for the relationship to survive.

In the end, we encourage listeners, especially betrayed partners, to hold fast to their own truth. While love is a powerful force, it cannot override a lack of compatibility. We challenge the idea that acceptance means self-abandonment and remind everyone that choosing to walk a different path from a partner does not mean you’re unloving—it means you’re honoring the core of who you are.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Addict Partner is Now Identifying as "Polyamorous" and I Don't Agree. Now What?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

This PBSE episode (#283) delves into the delicate issue of couples disagreeing about boundaries during addiction recovery. It begins by emphasizing that boundaries exist to protect authenticity and safety rather than to control others, underscoring the need for each partner to clarify and communicate their genuine wants and needs. The addict's resistance often stems from deeper issues like shame, pride, and a desire for autonomy, which can lead to avoidance and reactive recovery rather than proactive healing. The authors stress that open dialogue—where both parties seek to understand the underlying fears and desires driving their positions—is essential to move beyond rigid standoffs.

If authentic collaboration fails, the article acknowledges the possibility of fundamental incompatibility, where the couple may need to assess whether their needs can coexist without compromising personal safety or integrity. This process is not about punishment but about recognizing the natural outcomes of unmet needs. The authors introduce the concept of outcomes versus consequences, reframing boundary enforcement as self-preservation rather than retribution, which helps reduce defensiveness and fosters healthier communication dynamics.

Consistent, transparent communication remains a cornerstone throughout the boundary-setting process, allowing both partners to navigate challenges proactively while reinforcing their commitment to mutual growth. The article ultimately frames boundaries as opportunities for deeper connection, healing, and intimacy. Whether couples find alignment or face difficult decisions about their compatibility, authentic boundary work offers a transformative path toward lasting relational health and personal well-being.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: What if my Addict Partner and I Disagree About Boundaries—Now What?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

PBSE Podcast Episode 282 tackles the emotionally complex question many betrayed partners face: “How long should my former addict partner maintain sobriety and recovery before I consider getting back with him?” Rather than offering a simple timeline, it reframes the question to focus on the quality and consistency of change in both partners. The article underscores that while time matters, what matters more is whether the former addict has shown verifiable growth—emotionally, behaviorally, and relationally. It also explores the partner’s own healing journey, highlighting that reconciliation can only be healthy if both individuals are actively working toward personal recovery.

Key concepts such as healthy interdependence, compatibility of emotional wants and needs, and the importance of dismantling codependency are explored in depth. The article argues that rebuilding a relationship requires a fresh foundation, not a return to old dynamics. It emphasizes the need to assess past relationship patterns honestly and cautions against letting nostalgia or loneliness drive decisions. Trial periods, structured re-engagement, and gradual “re-dating” are presented as useful tools for observing change before committing to full reunification.

Ultimately, the article advises that while a minimum of six months to a year of sustained recovery might serve as a general benchmark, it’s not the time alone that matters—it’s what’s been done with that time. Reconciliation should be based on real, observable transformation, not promises or hopeful thinking. When both partners take ownership of their healing and work toward becoming emotionally whole individuals, the possibility for reconnection becomes both healthier and more sustainable.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Long Should My Former Addict Partner Maintain Sobriety and Recovery Before I Consider Getting Back with Him?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services